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Post by lordyam on Feb 24, 2016 15:21:10 GMT -5
I'm reposting the old topic from sufficient velocity
Okay this is a doozy. It's the series where Dark Horse Conan went downhill before slowly recovering under Van Lente (though given how the sales are going even that implies the series has a few years at minimum.)
I'm gonna get there sooner or later and since I know it's gonna hurt I might as well do it now. Fortunately, the website Viewcomic has very conan issue starting from Brian Wood's run up to the recent for free (note, those who don't want to shell out money on The Avenger should go there). So without further ado, let's dig into Brian Wood's Queen of the Black Coast.
Issue #1:
Recap: We open up with Conan fleeing on horseback from the guards in Messantia, just like in the start of the original tale. He jumps off the horse, runs along the wooden pillar things in the water and leaps onto the ship even as they pull away. The captain demands who invited Conan aboard, and when Conan orders them to get moving, the captain angrily orders them to stop. Still, he tells Conan that they are headed for Kush, to which Conan replies that then he is too. When the captain raises the issue of payment Conan simply puts a blade to his throat and says "I pay with steel" before threatening to kill everyone aboard if the captain doesn't get the ship ahead. The captain agrees and has the ship move out. Conan thanks him and regrets making the crew enemies of the messantian court. The captain isn't too angry but insists that Conan tell him why he pissed off the guardsman. Conan explains the situation freely; since the events were covered in road of kings I won't go into detail, but give the basics. Conan witnessed an officer of the guard harassing a woman when her boyfriend impaled him. Because Conan was the only witness on the scene he was thrown in jail and after spending the night in jail was dragged before the judge. Conan held his tongue until the Judge ordered him back to jail for contempt of court. Conan decided enough was enough and cleaved the judge's skull. The captain and crew are amused and quickly accept Conan as one of their own.
Later that night, Tito and Conan are on the deck sharing a drink. Tito tells Conan that he's willing to accept him but only if he contributes either as a swordsman or a rower. Conan agrees and pledges that as long as he is on the Argus he and his men are under Conan's protection. Tito accepts this and looking out says that they're passing the Shemitish coast based on the star's movement and his own experience. He also tells Conan that they'll be passing the black walls of Khemi and he'd prefer not to get to close since the dark arts practitioners are easily annoyed. Conan asks him to elaborate (normally I'd be skeptical since Conan has actually met Kalanthes and Thoth by this point, but then again his focus was on guarding Kalanthes so it's understandable that he wouldn't have inquired more about Thoth, even more considering Kalanthes didn't want to broach the subject). Tito describes the gory details (women gutted like fish, worshiping Set). Tito than asks if Conan has ever heard of Belit. Conan says that his travel has been limited mostly to the north (okay, that's TECHNICALLY true since he was only in the east for a short time with Amalric's crew.) Tito explains that Belit is a woman, and delivers rather handy exposition (how her ship is called the tigress, how she's called the queen of the black coast). Accompanying Tito's description is a rather ominous illustration where Belit looks rather demonic. However Conan is mostly listening to the description, which reminds him of "the winged warrior goddesses of the north, the terrible bringers of pain and pleasure that he, as a youth, dreamed about." Though Conan doesn't realize it his heart has been gripped.
We cut to Kush, where Tito is talking with the traders. Evidently the locals have lost three cargo skiffs in three days to pirates, which Conan realizes means Belit. Tito laments that he has to go north to seek trade in order to avoid Belit, yet he can't show up in Argos for helping Conan. Conan realizes Tito's mess is his fault, so he offers to kill Belit in order to make the waters safe for Tito. Tito declines, since they are workers not soldiers and he wouldn't ask that of Conan, instead asking Conan to take him to the northern lands where they can instead trade with zingara and pictland (okay the rpg does mention that there was SOME trading between Zingara and the picts but that it was pretty damn rare.) Conan assumes that he wants to run and while Tito explains that he can't go to war with Belit Conan further counters that "in my years as a swordsman, although limited in number, I have learned one important truth...I respect your desire to preserve your crew, tito, but it's the man most intent on avoiding a fight who finds himself stuck right in the middle of one." Okay technically by this point in the series Conan has had experience. He faced down Thoth Amon, stormed the tower of the elephant, survived the halls of the dead, thak, atalis's hordes, thugra khotan and led Amalric's mercenaries up to the bloodbath that was Illbars. I'll admit I would have put this before all the black colossus stuff since it makes more sense but still it shows Wood didn't read the other series. Not a good sign.
Later the crew are at sea and the lookout sees a ship. At first glance it looks like a ship similar to the Argus, right down to the shipyard, but something's wrong. Conan realizes that it must be Belit. We have an unusual....whatever the **** it is where conan dives in the water, sees Belit emerge from the ocean, he kisses her she drags him under the water, and than Conan wakes up in the middle of a misty cloud. So it was a dream? Color me confused. Still, Conan sees another ship in the fog, and through the fog Conan sees a white skinned woman on the deck of the ship. Belit. Conan shouts out Alarm as the issue ends.
Review: This is actually a good issue; Conan is still in character, being tough and determined but easygoing. Conan's interactions with Tito are very well done, and I actually found myself liking the poor bastard even though he's inevitably going to be worm food. There are a few moments where there look to be continuity errors but aren't. Hell Becky Cloonan's description of Belit is ******* awesome. I can easily see why such a she demon would be feared. The issue sorta falls apart at the end due to the whatever the **** dream sequence but all in all it's a good introduction to the series. If Wood had maintained this quality throughout the series than I can say it probably would have been more liked.
7.5 out of 10 (but only because of the bullshit dream sequence.)
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Post by lordyam on Feb 24, 2016 15:21:31 GMT -5
Issue #2:
Recap: we open up with a rather confusing image of Belit on a bloodstained deck with Belit taunting Conan. Back in the real world the Tigress is gaining fast and they have archers. Conan takes a bow, deciding that while it isn't his choice of a weapon he knows its secrets well enough and he better pray that he should plug at least one of the invaders. Tito asks if they can't just make for the shore and loose them in the jungle, but Conan says that they're out of time and in any case he isn't dying with an arrow in his back. Conan opens fire with his bows, remembering the three rules of archery that he was taught. Conan picks off quite a few but the Tigress is still gaining fast, until Conan sees Belit. Conan ultimately misses, though it is stated a casual looker might misinterpret it with the fatigue of battle. In actuality a sudden whim or qualm was more likely. Conan orders the rest of the men to stand to it and do one last push. Tito says that they can't outrun them now, so Conan starts to suggest ordering the men to arms....at which point the black coast men on the ship fire back, killing Tito. Conan vows to stand his ground in Tito's memory and orders the men to stand and fight. The ship is rammed and soon the black pirates have boarded and started wiping out the crew. Conan fights long and hard and we get some awesome as hell battle sequences where Conan grabs a boarding hook thrown at the ship, dragging two enemies below the waves, taking the two men in the water out as he swims up, dodging an axe as he clings to the side of the ship, leaping up, killing the axeman and than killing many others. All of this is described as "battle calm" and by Crom it is wonderful. Eventually Conan is the only man standing, with his back to the mast with a lot of spears pointing at him. Conan isn't even remotely perturbed, and after a bit of trash talking on both sides they are interrupted when Belit orders her men to stand their ground. Belt walks up and is curious. Conan says he is from Argos, but Belit isn't buying it, since she's sailed the ocean "from the great coasts of zinger to the very bottom of the world." She asks Conan again and this time Conan gives her his name and the place he's really from (Cimmeria). Belt than says "I am Belit. Make me your queen." And with that the issue ends.
Review: Another great issue. You really get the sense of despair and desperation as the black corsairs pursue them, while the Battle sequence when Conan faces down the corsairs is easily one of the most badass fight sequences in a conan comic. I mourned for the crew of the argos even though Tito was the only one with any depth. Hell, Conan himself actually FEELS like Conan in this issue. Just another sad reminder of what could have been if Wood had actually read more of the source material and honored it. 8.5 out of 10.
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Post by lordyam on Feb 24, 2016 15:21:52 GMT -5
Issue #3:
Recap: This time the issue opens with a definitive flashback of young Conan hunting and fighting a wolf. This is overlaid with a description of how Belit and people like her see the north as a terrible place where only the hardest men can survive and only the most passionate of women can keep those men. Belit is impressed that such a man could have wound up here and decides that she knows there her lover has been found.
Back in the present Belit repeats her offer and Conan looks around considering. Conan notes the irony of joining those who were once his mortal enemies, but also reflects on the power they command, the corpses of his comrades, his own belief in the cold gray nothing that comes after death, and finally Belit herself. He ultimately realizes that she has stirred something in his soul and agrees. Later on as the corpses of the crew of the Argus are left behind (some are eaten by sharks) and everything of value is taken Conan talks with an old figure who I presume is N'yaga but looks like a woman. Conan explains that he feels bad about failing to save them, and is still somewhat angry that Belit caused their deaths, but N'yaga is amused, explaining that they died well and that it is thanks to Belit that he is alive. He reveals that he is a Shaman AND that he has actually been to Cimmeria once (okay this MIGHT be possible if it was a one time thing). He complements Conan saying the wounds will heal and not to fear Belit's brutality since she is a goddess and force of nature. What he should fear is the future and what he will become with her. Conan is confused but N'yaga simply says that there is nothing ever straightforward about fate, and that it is a web. He leaves with a cryptic warning that the journey Conan embarks on will change him forever.
Night falls, and Conan is watching the men. Belit asks "where to, my king?"" To which Conan says that he is no king, since kings are august men of good stock with armies at their disposal and the respect of a nation behind them. Belit says that she can see that in his future but that now he may command her like one. Belit further reveals that she is descended from the kings of Askalon and that she has the fierce fighting spirit of a people descended from warriors. What's more, she sees the same in Conan. Conan notes that he isn't descended from kings and that he never saw the ocean until he was a teenager (does Wood assume that's what Conan is at this point. He'd be in his early twenties at least.) Conan starts to let his guard down around her as he begins to desire Belit more (though her touching him certainly helps) and to want to see more of the shining sea and revel in freedom. We cut to Conan and Belit having sex, and it manages to be capture passion the two must feel even if it is awkward. On the deck the next morning (though before dawn) Conan meets with N'gora and the two hit it off (with N'gora cleaning Conan's armor, and Conan insisting that N'gora doesn't call him Lord.) Conan complements his skill and N'gora does the same, noting that such is the reputation of the northern races. Conan tells N'gora to relax and says that he respects N'gora's position as second in command as well as his prowess. When N'gora insists on calling him Lord, Conan says that if he feels he has to only do so in Belit's presence. Here they are equals.
Conan asks N'gora to fill him in on the ship's history, since surely patrols would be encountered, to which N'gora says that Belit nows the waters well and when to be cunning and when to be fierce. N'gora also tells Conan how he and some of the others joined the crew. Originally they were on a timber barge called the obsidian. One time they were on the run from many local raiders who managed to push them due to their numbers and the fire arrows they had. Eventually on the third night Belit appeared and offered assistance. Conan asks what she could have offered by herself, and N'gora simply says perspective. Belit made him realize they were valuing the cargo more than their own lives and persuaded them to dump the cargo and take her aboard. She than led them to where the raiders where based, where the crew slaughtered them all and looted enough gold and silver that it was essentially three seasons pay. Naturally, once that happened hauling timber seemed boring so they decided to follow Belit. Since than she has led them to victory many times. The tale seems to remove the rest of Conan's reservations .N'ora tells Conan that he will feel the same way and says that since Belit is asleep he'll let Conan decide where they will go. Conan decides that they will head north to messantia.
Later on the narrator reflects that soon the tales would spread that the she devil had a mate and that villages would be sacked and stygian ships burned and how the bitterness of the stygians would yield crimson fruit for years to come, but that in the early days they lived well (This plays over the Tigress passing by the mouth of a river, obviously the Zarkheba). Below deck Conan and N'yaga talk and N'yaga is reading Conan's fortune (though he notes that just because fate favors you today it won't necessarily favor you tomorrow.) He gives Conan a drink to unlock the emotion beneath the sadness and anger, and Conan protests that he is happy. N'yaga reaches into Conan's mind and we see a lot of confusing images (god damn it and you were doing SO well.) Among these is Conan in confederate uniform, what looks to be two people running through snow, shackled legs, Belit clawing Conan's back and a winged monkey thing with burning red eyes. The issue ends with a dazed Conan on the deck of the ship and the sun rising.
Review: While not as good as last issue, it's still pretty good overall. Conan's conversation with N'gora is the high point of the issue, giving the black crewman development and coming up with a way to have them follow Belit that doesn't come across as racist. Where they were portrayed as beasts now we see that they are men, and more importantly why Conan would come to be at home among the guys who killed his friends (they offer freedom of the best kind, the chance to live and enjoy the good life.) N'yaga is also an interesting character, and his predictions hint at something dark on the horizon. However, the convoluted images make their return again, dragging the issue down. #7.7 out of 10.
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Post by lordyam on Feb 24, 2016 15:22:16 GMT -5
Issue #4: The Argos Deception Part 1
Recap: Under the burning sun Conan is working with the crew, pulling the sails up like the rest of them. He's won over the corsairs just as much as he did the crew of the argus. Time has passed and Conan is enjoying the good life (especially his relationship with Belit.) Night falls and on the Shem and Argos border, and Conan and Belit are sitting on thrones with N'gora kneeling before them. N'gora comments that Conan is tempting fate but that he is brave and is plan sound. Nevertheless he can't help but wonder if the soldiers will behave like he predicts. Conan is confident since Argos is bound by procedure, while Belit is willing to go along because of all the gold. N'gora runs through the plan one more time, and explains that they have to be ready so as not to be recognized. Belit admits at this point that she did indeed enter Messantia's waters once and that it nearly got them all killed. N'gora is confident that while Belit will be recognized, the other crewmen will be indistinguishable from the other southern men that go into Messantia. Since the tigress will be recognized Belit will pretend to be dead (but really in the hold.) While N'gora will pretend to be the new captain. Conan is uncharacteristically concerned about her being safe in the hold (oh boy this is where we first get emo conan) but Belit confidently shuts him up by saying that he doesn't remember what she is capable of and that she doesn't need protection. N'gora asks one more time if Conan accepts it since being bound as a prisoner will probably hurt physically. Conan is confident they won't break protocol and that while they rub Conan's nose in it the crew ill rob Messantia blind. Belit assures Conan that he can trust her.
In Argos (Which strangely has a viking ship in there) Conan is bound in irons willing to submit to a plan that he is scared of (WHY???!!!?) While Conan will agree to her plans later on (with Belit being the brain and Conan the arm) he's unnerved by her absence. The Tigress docks and N'gora manages to bluff the guard into buying the whole "Belit is dead" story. After N'gora quietly tells Conan not to worry about her and to stay alive the guards approach and Conan is thrown onto the dock. The guards mock him and prepare to take Conan away, but not before N'gora negotiates to get his bounty. The captain tells them that he wants them gone by daybreak, and that the bounty won't be what they expect. Conan is dragged through the streets until he's brought to the familiar jail cells. They throw him in and as the sun sets a judge visits Conan and proclaims him guilty without formality (evidently they can't take the risk.) Conan becomes worried and begins to fear that maybe Belit and N'gora won't be there in time to rescue him or if they abandoned him. After falling asleep he stands in a field of snow, remembering what N'yaga said last issue. He begins to despair that he and Belit maybe never had a chance and that he was stupid.....when he falls through the ice. In reality the guard has doused Conan in water. Conan has a visitor who has bribed the guard to give her ten minutes with Conan. A hooded woman enters and reveals herself to be Belit. She explains that N'gora anticipated that Conan might have made a mistake and that they have a back up plan to intervene at the gallows. She doesn't have time to give him details but warns Conan to keep his spirits top and to not give in. Conan admits he was afraid, and Belit calls him an idiot for doubting her. They then use the last 8 minutes to have sex.
Review: HMMMM. This isn't a bad issue but it's where the cracks start to appear. Conan is uncharacteristically nervous and worried about Belit and while that might fly if Conan was still a young man he's hardly as unseasoned as Wood implies. Leaving aside the fight with Thoth he survived the city of thieves and came out on top, so he should be at least somewhat more worldly. I get the idea of Conan being somewhat nervous (he's only been with Belit a few weeks and given how passionate she is Conan having doubts isn't entirely unexpected; even more importantly his failing to account for the judge deciding to screw protocol can also account for nervousness.) It's just done in an overly emotional way. He should have niggling doubts but not in a dominating way. Still, the idea to loot Messantia is a good one, and N'gora and Belit continue to be great. 6.5 out of 10.
Issue #5: The Argos Deception Part 2
Recap: In the Messantia heights an elderly black man opens a bird cage and lets loose the bird which flies by the prison tower. We see a contrast between the heights (Where the rich people live) and the tower. As Conan is led out we find that he quickly went back to being mopey once Belit left. Conan walks up to the gallows and sadly proclaims he is going to die (while also being scared.) The guard captain gives the usual bullshit proclamations and asks if anyone would speak for the condemned. Belit (Disguised as a noblewoman) announces that she would. The captain is surprised but Belit simply says that since the people want a spectacle (and hangings last thirty seconds) maybe they should have a trial by combat where Conan goes free if he wins, since surely any man they have could beat an "animal" like Conan. To sweeten the pot she'll put in 500 gold pieces. The guard is suspicious and says he doesn't recognize her, but Belit ably deflects this by saying that she moves in unconventional and discreet circles. The guard falls for this and agrees, unbinding Conan. Conan's challenger is to be a big hulking goliath with a sword and mace on his back. The guard warns Conan that his opponent has never lost in thirty years and that he knows that "the noblewoman" is the same who visited last night. Soon he'll be ******* her and have her gold while Conan will be dead (you wish shithead).
The fight breaks out and the challenger draws first blood, punching Conan and knocking him back. Conan realizes that he'll just have to not die while the crew takes advantage. Unfortunately, Conan is at a disadvantage (since he's unarmed and his opponent is both armed a ******* goliath, and unhindered by shackles.) He has a chance (since he's been fighting bigger men since he was six) but it will be a hard match. The challenger swings his mace and the fight kicks up again. Conan lands in a few hits but realizes that he'll need a different strategy due to the handicaps on him. Conan muses that it's a good thing that trial by champion is still a technically legal way to settle disputes since otherwise he'd be hung and left to a nasty fate (which is described in loving detail.) Conan ably dodges and eventually incapacitates the champion by making him trip as he lunges (he gets his leg chains in the guy's way as he lunges) before leaping into the air and jumping on his head, literally curb stomping him). Conan walks to the crowd (where he sees N'yaga. N'yaga slips Conan a dagger and jokingly states that it's possible the fates placed him there. He tells Conan to turn around, and sees the champion (who is still moving despite his injuries) moving towards him. He draws the sword, and Conan realizes that the sword is his. Conan charges him with the dagger, but the champion disarms him and forces him to the ground with a bash to head from the hilt.
As Belit runs through the streets the captain and another guard are chasing her asking where she's going. She lures them into an alley before hiding behind debris. When they wonder where she is she sneaks behind and kills both of them (ganking the first before the captain can even finish asking where is she.) She wildly pronounces that now Messantia is hers. Back in the square Conan moves to get up before the champion steps on his leg. As the guy raises his blade he basks in the attention (Conan realizing it's fortunate that the guy is basking in the crowd's cheering since if the roles were reversed Conan would have killed him already.) He reaches for the blade as a massive nice roars so loudly the crowd hears even though it started on the docks. The Champion is distracted, and in the short amount of time Conan has gotten to his feet, retrieved the dagger and started walking towards him. Conan calls him "Too Slow" and hurls the blade into the bastard's forehead (well the part where the forehead meets the nose. Conan picks up his sword, boasts that he will walk away a free man and then severs the guy's head
As the crowd observes the fire rising from the burned ships N'yaga reminds Conan of the visions he had. Conan asks him not to speak of it, since he just survived an ordeal. N'yaga simply reminds him that all the visions are conan's.
Review: This is just like the previous issue. Not terrible but the cracks are showing. Conan feeling mopey after Belit left is just stupid. Conan would be a lot more confident even if he was nervous. Fortunately there are enough great elements that the issue is tolerable. Belit shows off her cunning by manipulating the captain into giving Conan a trial by combat and Conan's battle with the champion is pretty cool. The cliffhanger does its job and masterfully makes the reader interested in the conclusion. 6.5 out of 10.
Issue #6: The Argos Deception Part 3
Recap: As the crowd runs through the street Conan and N'yaga muse that they have to hurry, since the tigress's holds are now swelled with treasure. Conan is bemused at how much destruction has occurred for a simple robbery. N'yaga simply says "This is Belit" and Conan smiles and says "Crom. So It Is." Men on horseback ride up moving to stop Conan, and Conan gestures to N'yaga to get behind him promising to protect him. Conan calls the leader out on their lying, and the captain states that they never intended to free Conan. Unfortunately the idiot stupidly gloats about how the Commander was last seen leading Belit into one of the Messantia's alleys (a lie and a rather dumb one). Conan is enraged, challenging the new commander to fight like a man or he'll kill the entire squad. The commander is nervous and tries to reassure his men, but Conan interrupts, grabs the reins and impales the horse through the neck. The captain falls off and starts ranting about how he is a soldier of messantia he commands respect how dare he blah blah blah when Conan decides he's had enough of this poo and cuts the guy's head off mid sentence. After confirming they have only minutes left to spare Conan proceeds to engage the squad and makes mincemeat of them. Eventually only three are left standing, with one of them trying to hold N'yaga hostage. Conan gets the guard off guard (pardon the pun) by claiming he doesn't care about N'yaga before hurling his sword into the hostage taker's neck. The two survivors wisely choose to flee and Conan and N'yaga mount a horse and race to the tigress (with Conan assuring N'yaga he didn't mean what he said earlier.
Conan and N'yaga ride and Conan muses that he has never sought violence out so brazenly (huh. Yes you have idiot. What do you call what happened when you led Amalric's crew. You didn't do things like rape but you sure as hell started violence.) He starts to remember everything, from the bad stuff of Belit's violence to the fact he is now free. He begins to wonder if he should just ride away to an unknown future, when N'yaga calls his name. N'yaga assures Conan that Belit chose him and that while he is aware of Conan's inner conflict (WHAT CONFLICT?) saying that while he "fears a life of violence aboard a pirate ship the great area of morality retribution and his own death (what is this poo?) and that he will face them there is a way to endure. Find the way to her heart and he can understand her (and maybe she can understand him).
They arrive at the docks and see that the tigress is still docked, even as the guards hold rioters. Both realize something is wrong. The only reason they wouldn't have taken off is if Belit isn't on board. Conan tells N'yaga to get aboard and move out of the bay, and when N'yaga protests that the crew won't abandon Belit Conan says that he won't either and that he will find her and bring her. Conan feels she is there and in an almost supernatural way he leaps across the water (chopping heads off as he runs toward the end of the dock) where after skidding to a stop he sees Belit at the mercy of three soldiers. They recognize her and not recognizing Conan's voice tell him to move along. Belit calls his name and while the guards realize that Conan is the same convict they expected to die Conan effortlessly kills all three of them, one of whom is killed with a lobbed sword.) He and Belit hug and Belit scolds Conan for doubting her. The issue ends with the Tigress riding off into the sunset.
Review: God damn it. This is where things start to get bad. If Wood had just stuck to the action sequences things would be better but he has to throw in this nonsense about how Conan fears a life of violence and how Conan isn't used to moral gray areas. Bull ******* crap. Even if we aren't taking the rest of dark horse into account Conan's been around (he was in the east and learned archery) and is more than familiar with how violent life can be. Life in Cimmeria was no picnic either. 5.5 out 10. The action sequences are great, and I liked some of the Conan N'yaga scenes but everything else is bleh.
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Post by lordyam on Feb 24, 2016 15:22:28 GMT -5
Issue #7: Border Fury Part 1
Recap: In Cimmeria Conan and Belit are running through the snow. They get behind a rock, and we see that Belit has been rendered Blind (apparently this is snow blindness and the cimmerians know of it. He assures that the pain will pass and by tomorrow she should be able to see again. She asks Conan to be her eyes and Conan says that he will end this one way or another but Belit cuts him off before he says "or another" and she assures him that she will prove the land hasn't gotten the better of him.
We flash back to weeks earlier, where Conan and Belit are by Korvela in the Pictish wilderness (honestly Taraniach and Duece did a better job explaining this stupidity.) As the go up we have a somewhat nice scene of Belit's marvel at seeing snow for the first time until eventually they arrive in Duthil (you're borrowing from Turtledove Brian? Really?) Conan introduces himself to his surly mother, and does the same with Belit, whom Conan's mom assumes is a slave girl. Conan says no she's my lover and Belit introduces herself as "BELIT OF SHEM, CAPTAIN OF THE TIGRESS AND DESCENDED FROM THE KINGS OF ASKALON! MEN BOW AT MY FEET." Conan's mom isn't impressed and tells Conan to find lodging elsewhere. Conan than asks if the news is true, and Conan's mom confirms it is. Fortunately Connacht's name still commands respect and as such she has her house. Belit sticks up to Conan and she and Conan's ma have a short conversation where ma asks what a shemite is and Belit explains what a shemite is.) Conan's mom says they won't find many like Belit around and slams the door in their faces.
During the night we see Conan and Belit argue in the window, and Conan realizes that in addition to the strangeness he encounters he has to realize that in Cimmeria Belit is just a girl to the locals. In the morning Conan speaks with Elder Dubhdara. At this point the reader is finally told what the "news" Conan heard was. Evidently some jackass Cimmerian is riding around torching villages in Conan's name. Conan tells Belit to be quiet ( [IMG] ) and the elder guesses that the impersonator is probably someone who knows Conan. They offer men, supplies, transport and lodgings, and assure Conan that Belit will be safe in Duthil. Conan assures them that he needs nothing except Belit at his side, his sword, food a horse and their faith). However Belit has left and the villagers advise Conan to leave Belit behind since Cimmeria isn't the place for someone like her. They further tell him to keep his focus on the task at hand. Outside, Belit is observing the people of Cimmeria going about their daily lives musing how baffling it all is when she sees a tied up wolf right nearby. It growls at her and she falls in the mud. Three rather beautiful girls mock her for this and in a rage Belit moves to attack them with a knife. Conan grabs her by the wrist as the girls flee and tightens his grip to the point where she drops the knife. Conan tells her that she can't kill the girls. Everyone in this town is interrelated to some degree and the leader is the granddaughter of an elder. Belit responds that she's a cow and she wishes she gutted the bitch. He asks her to promise to reserve the knife for those who deserve it, while Belit admits that she's unhappy. Everyone stares at her and treats her like filth. She sees Conan is different and feels she doesn't belong here. We get an admittedly tender scene where Conan comforts Belit, telling her that she does belong on the Tigress but he's honored she's here with him and that he wants her by his side since he can't do it alone.
We cut to a bunch or armed raiders attacking people and an armored guy on horseback saying I am Conan. Far away Conan and Belit are in bed and Conan hears this.
Review: I was prepared to give this a three, but I'll admit that I was moved by Conan comforting Belit. I understand what Wood was doing. Belit's used to being the top dog and being in control. As such when she's in Cimmeria (where no one cares who she is and just see her as some foreign girl) she doesn't know what to do. Her confusion and feeling weak was natural. Sadly, the continuity holes and the general stupidity are too much to ignore. 3.5 out of 10, maybe a 4 but only because I'm generous.
Issue #8: Border Fury Part 2
Recap: It's the morning and Belit is asking if it's time to leave. Conan says they will once he fills their water skins. Conan feels that it is a dangerous mission and if he doesn't succeed his clan and family will suffer for generations. They go on their way and we get some nice shots of the brutal landscape. It's established that Conan might be in his element but Belit isn't. As such he can only go four miles in a day rather than 24 like he usually does. Conan is annoyed that Belit is feeling fatigued this early on, but is sympathetic and stops to get fresh water (since water skins have to be saved.) Belit can't help but drink it anyway.
They reach a village in ruins, Eirbhe. Conan and Belit take in the destruction and Conan has to remind Belit not to use his name. They press a farmer for information, and sure enough the guy confirms that it was a man calling himself Conan who committed these acts. The actions were brutal even by the standards of there farmer (who fought in wars when he was younger.) "Conan" didn't want plunder or women. He just burned things. They find out that the stones he's making are essentially gravestones, and they get the farmer to tell them that the raider is heading to the east. He tells Conan to be quick since there are at least 6 settlements within a three day march of the area. Conan also promises to help the farmer when he's done with the raider. Belit asks if he means it once they're gone and when Conan says he does Belit asks Conan what he thinks of her, since when you get down to it she's very similar to the imposter in the kind of death she reaps. Seeing the man being so accepting of how death was unnerved her. Conan says that this is just the fatalism that goes with being in the north. Death is a constant so someone as old as old as the famed (who would have gone through the difficulties of childhood). To Belit, death is something to be avoided and she asks why the northerners give up easily. Conan says that they struggle and that they don't give up. They just aren't too arrogant to not see that the world is bigger and they need to recognize their place.
We go through three more villages, and Conan reflects that Belit is out of her element and how "the romance of the unknown is so powerful, so potent a drug. Conan lives a fantasy on the western ocean. In Cimmeria, there is no such thing, just the brutal recognition of a life all too real." I don't have anything bad to say about this. It's entirely in keeping with Howard for once. Anyway moving on Conan sometimes thinks that Belit shouldn't have come even if he recognizes his part. Later on they're in the forest when Conan realizes they are being watched. He calls out for whoever is there to show themselves, and forces Belit out of the way as arrows fly (wait, how are there arrows in Cimmeria? I thought they weren't archers.) Belit throws a knife into the tree and fatally injures the man who was up there. Conan presses him but only finds out that the guy was waiting for him before the guy succumbs to his injuries. Belit tells Conan they need to get off the main road, as Conan does the infamous EMO face. You know the one I'm talking about.
Later that night Belit wakes up gets dressed and goes out to meet Conan. Conan is observing the plains of ice and has seen at least three homesteads burned to the ground. Belit asks if the ice fields is where the guy is heading. Conan has realized the guy WANTS to be found and that in hindsight the raider's followers have been spying on them (maybe even right here.) The burned villages are all part of a sign. More disconcerting is that the ice field was where the youngsters played as children pretending to be giants. Conan feels that he knows who the guy is, yet he can't quite put it together. Belit asks Conan to be honest and than asks if he would be pursuing the man right now if he was alone. Conan admits that he would indeed and Belit tells Conan to go on ahead. She can see the field and knows where to meet him. Conan is nervous but Belit tells him that she navigates by wind and stars, and is no wilting flower. Conan says that he doesn't doubt her savagery, but this isn't a world she knows. She tells him "The things I know barbarian could fill this world and many more" before telling Conan to come back to bed (they share a rather tender hug.)
Belit dreams that she is in the desert riding a horse while naked like Lady Godiva. She sees the ocean. Belit wakes up to find that Conan has left already. Realizing that she can look forward to a hike of several days she walks on, feeling a little hopeful because of the sun, and thinking of the freedom she gave Conan. As she presses on she realizes that she thought she would love Cimmeria, since it must have been amazing to produce someone like Conan. Now she sees that of course Cimmeria breeds men like Conan. It's just so god damned hellish that it has to. We see a pack of wolves gather, and as Belit heads on she has hallucinations of her childhood, riding her fathers horse and wishing she could live that easygoing life again. She gets behind a rock, since her eyes have started to sting. She wants to be far from Cimmeria.
The issue ends with Conan charging ahead daring the imposter to show himself.
Review: This is stronger than the previous issue, and I'll even go so far as to say I enjoyed it enough. Conan's musings on Belit feel as natural as they can given the situation, and we get insight into Belit out of her comfort zone. Out of place but I really liked it. We see her inner vulnerability but also her desire to tough it out. Her internal musings are a joy to read and if this was another universe with different characters I think it would be damn near perfect (Lolos's art not included). The scenes of savagery on the villages are haunting, and the depiction of Cimmeria as a brutal hellhole only the strong can survive in were beautifully done, and this depiction of Cimmeria is among the most striking I've ever seen. Heck even Born on the battlefield wasn't as striking. 6.5 out of 10.
Okay lets go. Issue #9 Border Fury Part 3
Recap: Belit gets out from behind the rocks, and though her eyes sting she can hear breathing and realize someone's there. Unfortunately it's a pack of wolves. Realizing that the wolves are going to attack Belit draws her blade and kicks ass, taking all three of them out. We get a passage about how Cimmeria wasn't accustomed to polished stones like her, but unlike most stones she stays sharp.
Back to Conan he's continuing to issue challenges when suddenly an arrow flies forth. Conan barely dodges it and gets behind a rock. Conan dares them to face him and calls them cowards (though he also realizes that he did the same thing on the argus.) when Belit catches up. Conan gets Belit behind the rock, and we get the scene from the start of issue #7 (Belit is now blind.) Belit declares that they will and she will prove that Cimmeria hasn't bested her. She emerges from behind the rock, asking to parlay with the leader. With Conan assured by Belit the leader asks who she is. Belit introduces herself but states that she doesn't know his name or why he does any of this. The leader tells her to ask Conan if he remembers the name Mael'dun. Conan finally recognizes who they've been hunting and pulls her back just in time to keep her from getting perforated. Mael'dun mockingly states that Conan remembers. Now we get to a flashback. We learn that Conan and Mael were friends, but that Conan often took advantage of Mael (such as when Conan trips Mael during a hunting trip and calls him clumsy). As they got older Conan got more lucky with the ladies. Conan tells Mael that a fine girl named Coira likes him. Mael'dun doesn't buy it but Conan manages to persuade him. Mael'dun awkwardly flirts when Conan jumps the fence and interrupts him, stating that Mael will do her chores while they have a role in the hay. Coira laughs at Mael. Later that night Mael accosts Coira and grabs her, angry at her for laughing. She slaps him like the fool he is and Mael can only lie on the ground as everyone laughs at him. Conan tries to help Mael up but Mael is humiliated and walks away. Conan felt bad but eventually forgot.
Back in the present Conan feels bad about his role in Mael'dun's fall but realizes that for now the best chance they have is luring Mael into a one on one confrontation. So he calls out to Mael, mocking him about what happened with Coira. Mael'dun attacks running ahead without his goons, and as the two fight the text narrates how Mael nursed his grudge for ten years till it became madness. Conan feels guilty for his role in Mael'dun's fall, but nevertheless finishes him. Mael's men presumably just leave them (don't question the plot.)
Back in Duthil Belit and Conan's mother have a final conversation, before Belit leaves. Mommy still doesn't approve but Belit couldn't care less. She realizes that while she hates the land she loves Conan and realizes that since Cimmeria made him who he is she will always love it somewhat as well; they head back to the tigress and the issue ends with them FINALLY on the open sea.
Review: Sigh. I get what wood was doing with Mael'dun. He wanted to have the character be an evil that Conan created through his own thoughtless actions. Whereas Conan thought it was just a good laugh it ended up having a much more damaging impact on Mael to the point where his hatred turned him into a monster. This premise has been done well in other stories (Iron Man 3 shows how Iron Man's insensitivity helped turn Killian into the man he became). The problem is that 1.) We already had a Conan backstory and Mael'dun never showed up. It's like Tommy Elliot in Batman, except that Elliot was introduced at the arc's beginning rather than at the very end. 2.) Conan's bullying behavior feels unnatural. I can get him being cocky but not as outright cruel as he was here. 3.) Mael's motivation was kind of lame. Ironhand had a character named Pencalvus, who Conan's dad spared during Venarium. Unfortunately because he was the highest ranking survivor he ended up being the scapegoat for what happened, which basically causes Pen's life to go down the toilet. As such, I can see Conan and Pencalvus coming into conflict, since Conan's dad unintentionally ruined Pencalvus's life. In that case Conan not remembering could work, and it would be easier to sympathize. Mael'dun? He was an adolescent wussbag. Also, how the hell did Mael'dun get that admittedly badass armor and assemble his vile crew?Why would they follow. Laaaaaaaaammmmmeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Still, Belit vs the wolves and Conan vs Mael was pretty well done. 4 out of 10.
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Post by lordyam on Feb 24, 2016 15:23:04 GMT -5
Issue #10: The Death Part 1
Recap: We open with Conan and Belit on the deck of a torched ship surrounded by gold. We see scenes of badassery and battle and sex and happiness intercut (though the way the word sex is used comes across as juvenile). Basically it's everything the readers WANTED to see since it's you know ABOUT PIRATES but didn't actually get. Still, we get to know that Conan did actually behave like a pirate so maybe one can argue that all the things like abombi thuthmekri happened in this gap. Still woulda been nice TO ACTUALLY SEE IT (sorry I'm angry.) Obviously some time has passed.
In her cabin, Belit is talking to N'yaga. Conan is restless and she's bored. Belit admits that Conan is satisfactory as a lover but now they have too much reputation. Ships surrender rather than fight, and now it feels like they're collecting tribute. And while she wants to kill, forcing unresisting men to fight is just not satisfying. N'yaga takes her blood and does some ritual to see what the future holds. We also vow that Belit has vowed never to leave the ship since Cimmeria (odd given that one of the images showed her in a boat.) N'yaga has an attack and when Belit moves to comfort him he simply says "The Death."
Meanwhile we find that Conan is actually very happy, still enjoying life on the ocean. He's bonded with the crew (who like N'gora don't call him lord when Belit isn't around.) Conan is really happy and at peace in the world (or as peaceful as a pirate can be.) still he feels himself searching the horizons every now and then. During one such look or gaze Conan sees a light on the horizon, and realizes that it's a ship. N'gora tells Conan that since it's night with no wind, the ship will still be there in the morning. He tells Conan that he should instead enjoy the fine corinthian wine they have in the hold. They leave to get drunk. Later that night under the red moon Conan has passed out, while Belit has stayed in her cabin. She's had to put up with N'yaga saying "the death" for nine hours. As morning comes, we find that a ship has indeed drifted right up next to them. No one is aboard however, so after N'gora apologizes for doubting Conan Conan leaps aboard while someone gets Belit. Conan decides to plunder it, but as he assesses it he notices something wedged there. Turns out it's a living man. Conan has his blade thrown to him and raises his blade but the guy begs for mercy so Conan asks what to do. Belit has misgivings but after Conan comments that the prisoner is in leg irons she decides that they'll take him aboard, take the ship apart and tow what's left to port. Maybe they can profit from turning the prisoner in. N'yaga looks at Belit ominously.
Later on Conan is asking why they can't put the guy to work, and N'gora says that he suspects the man is sick. Conan realizes the implications so he orders two of them to put the man in the dinghy., with an archer on standby in case he tries to swim. N'gora ominously asks if they are too late, and when Conan asks for what he doesn't answer. After wondering what the hell N'gora means (whether he's bored of the question or accepting whatever fate is heading his way) Conan goes to see Belit. They talk and Belit tells him about N'yaga's earlier state. She says that N'yaga gave her an answer but she doesn't know what the question is. They talk about Cimmeria and Conan asks what it has to do with N'yaga. Belit changes the subject and ask Conan what he makes of the prisoner. Conan says that N'gora thinks he's sick but that he could be either a criminal or a slave. If he's a crook he gets turned in, but if he's a slave they won't. The narration states that Belit will come to regret not sinking the ship and burning it, and that if Conan had known how scared Belit is and why he'd have agreed. Still Belit doesn't tell him and she instead asks Conan to stay with her. They have sex.
In the day the tigress has pulled a city south of kush known as bakal. Conan emerges from the cabin and starts to order the men about, when suddenly he notices the dinghy filled with the prisoner's bloody corpse, a load of blood and the archer gone. N'gora approaches, and is now VERY sick, stating that he wished Conan hadn't spotted the boat. N'yaga says that this is "the death" and that he told Belit. Conan is horrified and screams Belit's name as the issue ends.
Review: This is a MASSIVE improvement. There are problems (would have been nice to SEE the badassery they do, the references to Cimmeria remind me that the whole trashy arc happened) but there was a lot to like. Conan's rapport with the crew was great, really convincing me that he was part of the team. The sense of dread and ominousness builds well, and the cliffhanger when Conan realizes the danger is shocking. 7 out of 10.
Issue #11: The Death Part 2
Recap: Conan throws the dead corpse into the water and burns down the dinghy before rebounding the tigress. N'gora tells Conan that he should rest but Conan says that he's not sick. N'gora tells Conan that he is the only healthy one's pretty much the only one who isn't sick, and that in all likelihood Conan will be sending their bodies to the sea floor while their souls go to the next life. Conan tells N'gora that he will toss him overboard before ordering N'gora to bring them into port. He assures N'gora that he will see it through.
In Belit's cabin Belit looks like a wreck. She jokes that she doesn't have the look of a queen (along with the serious point that if her enemies set upon them now she couldn't stop them) and asks how the men and the convict are Conan fills her in and assures her that he will head into town for help. Belit admits that she's afraid and Conan comforts her by kissing her on the lips. In the city of Bakal Conan is in the tavern musing about the ****ed up situation when a local asks if he needs help (in a rather threatening way.) Conan tries to defuse the situation by offering to buy him his next drink but the leader and his cronies aren't impressed by this. Conan asks for information but unfortunately people are suspicious and Conan soon has a blade at his throat. The leader acts tough but Conan isn't taking his nonsense and headbutts him (fortunately the blade was at the BACK of Conan's neck not the front.) and disarms the guy with the blade at his back before once more trying to defuse the situation. The leader ain't having it and attacks. Their fight is stopped when Belit, obviously sick, arrives and reveals that Conan is with her. The locals are scared of her, and Conan uses this to get information on where a healer is. They leave, and Belit collapses in Conan's arms. Belit tells Conan she can't make it and Conan insists she can. Belit orders Conan to take her back to the Tigress, put her to bed and make tea and than leave the crew behind. She's convinced they'll all be dead by morning and she doesn't want Conan's last memory of her to be succumbing to the sickness. Conan assumes that this is the madness of the fever talking but Belit tells him that no it's the love speaking. She asks Conan to promise her but Conan says he won't.
Conan returns Belit to the ship, but as he's leaving the harbor master tells Conan that his tariff is due. Conan insists that he paid that morning, and the master explains that he will do so again. Conan draws a blade on the guy, but the harbor master calmly points out that this is Belit's ship (subtly implying that if Conan doesn't comply he'll spread the word even more.) Conan isn't in the mood so he gets assurance the guy will keep quiet and pays him (with Conan back by nightfall). We have YET ANOTHER TRIPPY DREAM SEQUENCE (Seriously Brian what is it with you and these dream sequences.) Conan sinks into the water. He removes his armor and swims to the surface of the ocean. He climbs onto the beach, up a hill and across the sand of the desert. We see that this is all a dream on Conan's part, and Conan has arrived at the healers place. He asks what happened, and she responds that he should tell her. He asks what she gave him to drink, and she asks what he saw. Conan explains the dream and the healer says the answer is obvious. Conan repeats that he came for a cure for his friends, and asks her why the hell she sent him on a vision quest. The healer simply says that she is 104 years old and that Conan is in deep agony himself. She says that people fall sick and the illness is spread and no one knows how or why. Usually there are no cures. She further says that his friends may live or not. Maybe some will survive or the entire ship will be full of corpses. Conan realizes that she's getting at another possibility. That maybe he doesn't return at all.
Hours pass and Conan contemplates his emotions. Night falls and Conan is still there. He realizes that he never made a specific promise, and that their romance is about the pleasures of each day. He's healthy and wonders if he'll get sick should he return to the tigress. As he looks out over the bay he says that he could run and be free of this. See the world and live his life. Belit asked it of him after all and he was musing that the streets of banal might be the end of his journey. And who is he to refuse a queen.
Review: This isn't as strong as the last issue (mostly because the vision sequences are overdone) but it's still pretty good. Conan is stuck in a situation where people are counting on him and he can't really do anything. His conflicting emotions about Belit feel natural; Belit wants him to be happy and thinks that leaving may be right. Conan is a young man and has a long life ahead of him. We all know Conan won't really leave her but in those desperate moments one might imagine Conan feeling that. Belit shows balls of cast titanium by going into the city while dying to help Conan, and Conan's going along with the harbormaster make sense. His friends need him and he can't take needless risks. 6.5 out of 10 or 7 out of 10.
Issue #12: The Death Part 3
Recap: After a panoramic shot of Bakal we find that Conan has indeed stayed. Unfortunately the healer for some reason didn't help him so he just got drunk in the tavern. The barmaid comes to Conan and makes clear she doesn't want him hear; not because he can't pay but because men in his state have a tendency to get violent with customers, and since she's the only one there she's worried Conan will take his wrath out on her. She asks Conan if he lost someone he loves, if it was that woman from earlier. Conan angrily states that she isn't dead, and the barmaid suddenly reveals that her mother may be able to help out (in fairness maybe she was too scared to suggest the possibility).
On the dock the harbormaster is cursing that Conan didn't comeback when Conan and the two ladies show up. The Harbormaster tells Conan that he will pay for standing him up, provided an armed mob isn't on route to take the ship and kill them. He asks Conan if he realizes what Belit is to the people of the region. This time Conan isn't taking any of his poo and holds the guy at sword point, threatening him. He says he will pay him again but that he shouldn't make Conan reconsider. After the harbormaster says The Wolves are at the gate Conan tells the two women to go aboard and he'll be there. The master thinks Conan is insane (apparently the mother is disgraced and an outcast). Conan simply tells the mother to go aboard and than delivers a rather badass speech. "You speak of wolves at the gates. I am the wolf. a wolf of the north and the wolf of the western ocean, Belit's sword han. You keep Your people away from the tigress or I will turn this bay crimson." He lets the guy go, and the guy simply tells Conan not to come back.. As the mother does her magic we find out why she's disgraced. Apparently she chooses to use herbs and practical approach rather than shamanistic nonsense. Conan is hopeful, since she diagnoses and gives pout cures quickly. N'gora is quickly healed and the two exchange friendly banter while the mother heals N'yaga. There's a surprisingly insightful narration about how some view plagues as the will of the gods, and in a perverse way it might be true, only with the added douchery that the gods hide the cures in plain sight so that only someone with brains can unlock them.
Conan goes to talk to N'yaga, who is now feeling better. Conan asks him what he means by "the death" since at this point it looks like the crew will live. N'yaga ominously asks if Belit hasn't told him, at which point a loud scream comes from the cabin. Conan rushes in to find Belit lying on the bed, at which point the mother enters and the daughter tells Conan to trust the mother. When Conan resists she gets rough and tells Conan to get out. Conan is too stupefied to resist. N'gora tells Conan that there are a crapton of men massing on the quay, and muses that they were foolish to think the Tigress wouldn't be noticed. Conan asks N'gora if he's better and N'gora says that he's somewhat better, but that he isn't good enough to last in a full-scale brawl. He and Conan go onto the dock determined to at least not loose.
The crowd leader states that they want Belit in payment for all the lives she has destroyed. They offer safe passage for the others in exchange for Belit. N'gora tells them to go to hell and when another man says that they could buy Belit Conan also tells them to go **** themselves. Conan catches a thrown spear, hurls it at the thrower (skewering him nicely). The battle is joined as the narrator states that Conan and Belit's love is being tested yet again, even though in many ways this test was greater. Conan and N'gora fight on but N'gora starts bleeding (turns out that fighting tired him out enough for the disease to come back even if not as deadly) and after Conan tells him to get back he impales another attacker while stating he will never abandon the ship and that they must kill him. He threatens the survivors who flee. N'gora says Belit's name and when Conan asks what he means N'gora states that "she's screaming. She hasn't stopped screaming". Conan rushes aboard and arrives at the door. Due to the nature of Belit's scream (despair, rather than dying) he can't enter the room. After waiting outside the mother and her daughter come out. Belt's alive and with rest she and the crew will recover. Fortunately the illness was known in the area and with the proper treatment it is both survivable and one time. However, there were complications. Conan asks what she means, and the mother confirms that she was two months pregnant. The baby didn't survive. She apologizes,
Days pass and things have gotten back to normal. Well, except for Conan and Belit, Belit just lies in bed not talking to Conan in spite of his efforts. Conan leaves and goes on deck wondering what the hell N'Yaga meant by the death. Was it the unborn child? The Illness? Or is it referring to something else? Like the end of Conan and Belit.
Review: The arc comes to its conclusion and once again is still pretty good even if not the extent of issues 10 and 11. All things said, the scene where Conan finds out that Belit has miscarried their child is downright heartbreaking. The final fight on the dock was sublime, as Conan and N'gora continue to show camaraderie. I thought that it was convenient that the barkeep's mother happened to be a healer but there have been worse coincidences, one can argue why she didn't help before (she was scared and mommy was an outcast)) and the musings weren't quite as obtrusive. However the notion of Conan and Belit having their luck tested ALL the damn time is annoying. If it had been straight up pirate badassery like Abombi THAN the death arc, the impact would be so much more powerful. Still, this stands out as the best arc of the story that isn't a direct adaptation of the actual text. It's a shame that it isn't in a better adaptation. 6.7 out of 10
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Post by lordyam on Feb 24, 2016 15:23:59 GMT -5
God this is gonna suck.
Issue #13: The Woman on the Wall Part 1
Recap: We see an army of men in the middle of the desert (Conan is amongst them, though I didn't recognize him at first), with a man on horseback telling them that the fortress is up ahead. The march is at an end. Conan's compatriot say that now they can attend to the matter of their deaths. Conan says he fights to win not to die. The guy next to Conan says he fights for money and glory but more than anything to live to see another day. However this day he'd be surprised to live to see his dinner.
We see a glorious shot of the city fortress rahah en ram, and Conan is afraid (ugh. Again.) Conan reflects on the situation in the camp, and we get an admittedly interesting blurb about how the kings fighting would often be brothers or kinfolk. and that maybe this is why fighting got so brutal. We find that the siege has gone for months, and that Conan considers it ugly but not without charms. At this point a voice cries out that "She's there." Conan reflects that he saw the ghost the first night but that it took 5 moons to realize what he was looking at, and another 5 to come to term with his emotions. We get more me reflecting, and as Conan moves through the crowd he eventually sees Belit on the wall.
We get a flashback to Asgalun. This is actually cooler. The description Asgalun as subtler but more valuable, and the story of multiple invasions and many occupiers yet that it still thrives was a nice touch. Shem is described as having many cultures and scriptures, a lush interior of pastureland, where the hills have vast reserves of copper and gold, whereas the coastal regions centered on the three cities of Asgalun Pashtun and Kyros that dominate trade, which seems right. I actually felt myself being dragged in and parts of it actually fit with what Howard wrote. Than we see Belit getting off the boat and smiling at Conan before walking into the crowd. As Conan emoizes N'yaga tells Conan to let her go. The conversation is pretty nice actually, dealing with the aftershock of loosing their child. N'Yaga also says that Crom would be laughing at him (sadly this is all too true.) Eventually Conan asks if she'll come back and N'yaga basically says they sure as shit better hope so.
Eventually the crew sails twenty miles north and makes camp on the beach. N'gora says that the time they spend working on the ship will help pass the time and for a while this seems true, but only during the day. At night Conan is haunted. Than.... We get to the infamous Conan puking scene. Conan shoots a deer with an arrow through the brain. As he approaches he finds that he's killed a female. Even worse, her two fawns now have no mother. Conan pukes. I'll have to be honest and say the scene isn't quite as bad as I thought. Conan feels guilty for depriving the fawns of their mother, and given that he's just lost his own unborn child it's not QUITE as stupid as it could be. It's still out of character.
Conan decides to finally go out and get Belit. N'gora is on watch and so sees Conan leaving. Conan announces his plan and N'gora admits he kinda guessed Conan would be unsatisfied. He tells Conan to be careful warning him of the dangers (hasn't he been to Shem already?) but Conan says that Belit endured Cimmeria for him so he can endure her land for her (As much as I don't want to be reminded of that atrocious arc I'll concede that it was a nice gesture.) Conan leaves, and N'gora and N'yaga soon begin to talk. N'yaga says Belit WANTS to come back but whether she can.....that is the question. N'gora admits that he doesn't envy their position but N'yaga reminds him that Conan left him in charge, and that he could do what he wanted with the crew following him. N'gora calls him an idiot N'yaga says "my thoughts precisely" and warns him to take care since the world is bigger than he thinks. Ok I think that was meant to be profound but it kinda fell apart.
In the desert Conan is in the desert on his knees, and sees an army in the distance. One of the men rides up and hits Conan in the face.. Conan wakes up in a cart and is told that he has been conscripted into the king's army. He makes Conan get out since the cart is reserved for dead corpses and another man forces Conan to get in formation. Conan asks where he's going and where is sword is and is told that they go to war. More specifically the fort of ramah en ram. He asks Conan if he's heard of it and when Conan says no he's called lucky and than told that as long as he swears to point the sword only at the enemy he'll get it back before giving Conan water. When they arrive at Ramah en Ram we see trebuchets being used to hurl stones at the castle (can any howardian tell me if this makes sense?) with the castle hurling them right back at them.
We get some pretentious narration as men get plugged with arrows and rocks are thrown, talking about how this is war in shem. I'd be impressed in a better story but at the moment I just don't give a shit. Later Conan sits with his fellows, and one of them Baraz says that he's seen a woman on the wall with white skin and hair like the blackest night describing how beautiful she is. Baraz claims she will be is, and we get yet another pointless argument that admittedly has a nice comment about how "show me a war that wasn't started because of some nobleman's lusty ambitions and I'll eat my shield." As the conversation continues one of the men wonders if the woman (okay we all know it's Belit) is the lord one of the men makes a sexist comment, which is joined by other sexist comments by his buds. I won't bore anyone with the conversation since it's woefully out place, until eventually Conan interjects and says how Belit may not be Lord in name but she has the power to drive men to submission. We see Conan further put them in their place condemning them for viewing her as a piece of meat and describing what's happened in the story and I'll admit that it's nice to see Conan put them in their place. He than gives a speech threatening them and advising them to shut up pick up their swords find their manhood and join him on the battlefield
Review: Once more we have a Conan adventure IN LAND which kinda defeats the purpose of pirate stories. While Mirko Colak's art was great and the scenes between Conan and N'gora awesome (seriously that's one of the few things about the comic I like without reservation) the second half is a long pretentious slog with way too much modern references (seriously, "you read to much novella's you fairy" sounds woefully out of place.) The prose is flowery and sometimes it works. A lot of the time it doesn't. 4 out of 10
Issue #14: The Woman on the Wall Part 2
Recap: We open with a flashback on the high seas in a storm. Conan orders N'gora to cut the sail loose. N'gora objects and he and Conan get into an argument with Conan ordering N'gora to send someone up there. Belit tells Conan to stop yelling at N'gora and that she'll do it. Conan is worried but Belit says that it is her ship and that "you may command my men but you do not command me Conan. In anything. Ever." Okay that was pretty badass. Than she ruins it by saying. "I have been weak. No more." She tells Conan to go back to the Cimmerian whores if he wants a woman he can own like a sow because she will never be that. She is no man's possession. N'gora tells Conan to get below deck since there isn't anything they can do, and tells Conan that she thinks she wants to die and to be careful and not challenge her. He shares her bed but she's still a queen. Conan kneels and we finally get the text box saying this occurred weeks earlier.
After a beautiful shot of a blood red sun we see the men launching their final missiles of the day, since the siege is running low due to lack of supplies. We are told the people inside welcome it for the people inside are still vulnerable. Conan reflects that a proper siege can take years and he doesn't have that time. We see one of Conan's friends gesturing for him to follow and we find that Conan and his crew are planning to launch a night raid. This is the Conan we know and love. Conan reflects that he knows her as his loover and the woman who until recently carried his child, and wonders if she can be called that anymore. You know if this was not on land but in a proper adaptation I'd probably be a lot more cool.
As the crew gathers we get another brain fart as Conan reflects that he learned to tend to the flocks (wait, did cimmerians have flocks? I'm confused.) and that Conan has learned patience until he's ready to strike. Conan's pal asks what the move is and Conan says they love in through the irrigation system. He says they have to be careful, and asks who the best archer is, which is Baraz. He tells Baraz to take out the sentries with single shots as quick as he can without making a sound. This great scene is of course ruined when the crew moves on and Conan reflects that "this was not cimmeria. This darkness felt strange, uncomfortable. Malevolent." After confirming that yes they will move through the sewers Conan and the team reach the wall. Conan begins to climb, and the guards eventually hear the scraping noise he makes. The narration says that while the warriors on the wall are complacent, the warriors of shem are so deadly that even the laziest one is not to be underestimated. They throw a torch down and Conan realizes that the real purpose of the brazier's isn't warmth; it's to break through the dark. They see a guy plugged through with arrows, but fortunately Conan's crew realized what was happening and have Baraz plug the two sentries. Baraz pulls this off even in the dark from all that distance. Conan is impressed and thinks that his instructors of Hyrkania must have been lacking (ok bullshit the hyrkanians are the best archers in the world.)
As he climbs Conan realizes he could win the war for the other army, but reflects that isn't what he's here for. Conan makes his way past the sentry and opens a sewer grate with his sword, and warns the second in command to be quiet. The guy says that they'll smell the crew if they don't hear them, and Conan realizes it's too late. Torches are thrown in and Conan orders his men to put them out. The second in command declares that it is too late and that it's going to be close work from here on out. Conan agrees and persuades his men to be ******* brutal. Once more Conan embraces the battle calm and while it's enough not to get him killed he's still confounded by Belit. Slowly Conan's friends fall and they're cornered. Conan tries to pull his second out of the way but the guy gets plugged with crossbow bolts. The second tells Conan to get inside while they reload and says that if he sees the woman on the walls to ask her why and if it was worth it. Making his escape Conan runs through the street and crashes through a wooden door before grabbing a torch and making his way down the hallway....arriving right in front of a mass of soldiers. Conan is quickly overpowered and beaten. As he struggles to regain vision he sees Belit who orders the captain to order the men not to kill Conan. However, she does order them to beat the shit out of Conan. They do so.
Conan laments the situation and after a couple of shots of the palace and the dead crew Conan lies in....the square? Badly beaten.
Recap: This was better than last issue, if only for the moments when Conan and his boys plan that lightning raid and get in. After that everything pretty much falls apart as the team falls and Conan walks into the enemies lap and beats the shit out of him. Not really much to be said. 5 out of 10.
Issue #15: The Woman on the Wall Part 3
Recap: We get another beautiful shot of Shem (though even that gets tiring) and we get the history of the clan that owns the fortune. I'll admit it's mildly interesting. We get a flashback to 20 years ago when Tomer en Ram (the current lord) sees a caravan of slavers pulling along a woman with white skin). Naturally he's smitten and quickly moves to buy her from the slaves. He takes the girl, Liraz, back to the fortune and is so tongue tied he asks for forgiveness. We get fireworks....somehow. At the same time Tomer's wife is giving birth to his son, Liraz gives birth to her daughter, naming it Belit after a story she loved as a kid. From that moment Tomer and Liraz never spoke again. We find that Belit spent most of her childhood helping her mother in the kitchen, until eventually her mother told her that timer was her father.
At this point the flashback moves to 8 years ago, when a teenaged Belit is told of her family history, and how her anonymity protected her. She was then told she was loved......only to see her mothers corpse being covered and told to leave and not return ( [IMG] was it to protect her?) The flashback moves to seven weeks ago when Belit knocks on the door of the fortress. Belit marches through the soldiers and meets her father, who embraces her. Tomer regrets his foolishness, and welcomes her back asking if she travels with anyone and is she alone? Belit says she is alone. In the present Belit sleeps in bed while Conan lies in bed injured. He wakes up and feels pain as he moves (looking very much like a teenager) with the guy next to him saying not to be in a hurry to get back to the ramparts. At this point any man who can sit is interpreted as being able to stand, and the ramparts need meat shield. Conan asks if he's inside the fortress. and asks how he came to be there when told yes. He's told that he was dumped in the cot thirty six hours before, in bad condition. Conan asks how the siege goes and is told that there is a cease fire. The guy says that the conflict is only deferred when Conan asks if the war is over, and he assumes Belit is Tomer's lover rather than his daughter. The guy reflects on how odd "woman on the wall sounds" and turns back to talk to Conan, who has gotten out of bed and left.
Outside we find that a massive sand storm has come and threatens the city. The invaders use this as an excuse to leave without loosing face, since they can say they thought the sand storm would do the job. The army gets out quickly which means leaving the men too wounded too walk and the weapons. Conan is on the wall wrapping his face, facing a storm that is in it's own way as nast as Cimmeria. As he thinks of Belit he realizes he understands her more and understands her less at the same time.. In a rage he attacks the first random shit he comes across and pressures him for info. The guy gives conflicting accounts and the knowledge that Tomer may be Belit's father puts Conan into a bad position since it's easier to kill the man who forced her into his harem rather than her father and fathers and daughters are not easily separated by men. During all this Belit bops him on the head with a duel and tells them emen to bring Conan to the great chamber where she will present him.
Belit brings Conan in, and Tomer while impressed at Conan breaching the defenses tells Belit that it is only because he loves her that Conan stand in the chamber alive. Belit tells her dad that she's there to demonstrate her love for Conan, shocking Conan (who was worrying that he had lost Belit forever). Tomer is unimpressed and says that Conan is of the north, and that he knows men like this. And he knows that Conan isn't for her since her place is with her family. His sons are dead so she's al the last of the line. He also tells her that she was always the firstborn and Liraz was always his queen. He even offers her all of shem. The other men want Conan tortured and killed but Tomer is open to showing mercy. What does he have left to show and how will torturing Conan show it. Belit says it can show mercy and while Tomer says it isn't a popular shemite sentiment Belit says to be brave.
Tomar speaks to Conan one on one and asks what he thinks his fate should be. Conan says that he is entirely in Belit's hands. Tomer says that Conan is in HIS hands and Conan says that if there is one thing that he has learned we are all in thrall to the women we love and are made better for it. Homer is impressed and says Conan can go. The price is that Belit must stay behind as his successor. Belit asks "truly" and Tomer says he won't lose her again. Belit agrees, and Conan wishes to die. He's soon kicked out of the castle by soldiers who want to kill him and he looks all sad thinking he'll be consumed forever in the sand after loosing the will to go on. Conan fights this off and is determined to be strong for Belit, and to accept his end with courage...but hears noise. He turns overjoyed and sees Belit riding up to him on horseback. The narration describes that when Conan is told of her mother and her romance with her dad he'd feel a fool for doubting her and beg her forgiveness (this is accompanied by Belit silently telling Conan via actions to take her off the horse, and Conan kneeling before her.)
Review: I'll admit I enjoyed the backstory about Belit's parents. Her father freeing her mother out of passion, and her being named after a character in a story mommy loved made sense. There isn't any dialogue spoken yet their relationship felt organic and while Tomer was a weird name I liked Liraz. However it all falls apart in the end. The sad thing is that if this was another character in Hyboria I might buy it but all this shows is that Wood JUST DOESN'T UNDERSTAND CONAN! The emotions are maudlin when it should be powerful, the beautiful shots get boring (a crime in my opinion) and the characters schizophrenic (Conan shouldn't just lie down and die. He grappled with despair in the illbars swamp but he didn't give in.) I get that Tomer doesn't want to loose his daughter again but it still felt cruel to want her to stay behind. In the end this issue ends and we're all better for it. Wood should have made this another universe. 4 out of 10.
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Post by lordyam on Feb 24, 2016 15:24:22 GMT -5
I stand corrected. THIS is the worst arc of the series
Issue #16: Nightmare of the Swallows Part 1
Recap: In [IMG] hurrrggh Ianthe Ophir we get a shot of the streets that looks hideous due to the drop in art before popping in on Conan and Belit in the bath house, in bed naked and talking. I won't bore anyone with this tripe. Eventually Belit says to order another one, and an offscreen voice says "ale? Wine? Bah, the libations of the unenlightened." Conan asks who is there and some guy walks up says who he is doesn't matter because he is holding the yellow lotus in its purest form. He offers it to Conan and while Belit says she's heard of it before Conan is curious. The guy describes it as something that will make the wonders around them seem as interesting as a cold rainy morning and asks what they say. Belit is game but Conan is skeptical. The guy asks how Conan can know without seeing it for himself. Belit pushes Conan saying they are alone with no pressing business and gets Conan to join her. Conan takes it and they are soon in a magical forest, with Conan holding a bow and miraculously having gotten clothes on between one panel. Belit leads Conan through this wood talking about how most woods frighten her because of how rare they are in Shem (Yeah, those jungles are cool. But forests? Nah [IMG] ) Conan asks why he has a bow in his hands and Belit saying she feels free. As Conan sees arrows against a tree Belit sees something.......we in turn see once Conan does that it is the crew of the Argus hanging from the trees.
Conan recognizes Tito, and remembers that he doesn't deserve to die yet that Conan consorts with his murderers even after swearing his sword. They hold hands as arrows start flying, as Belit orders Conan to kill them from behind cover. Conan wonders how to fight them if he can't see them but notches the bow.....only for tito to have popped up right to Conan's side saying that he is terrible with a bow. Conan says he did well enough on the argus, and tito says that you lost me the argus idiot. Conan says that Tito and his men fought well even if they lost but Tito says to tell them that since they hang in the trees just yonder. Belit tells him to hurry and Conan wonders if this is revenge, and if he is to die in a hail of arrows without honor because of his betrayal. Tito points out that he never used the word betrayal, Conan did and gives Conan advice. Belit lies helpless and their enemies surround him yet he is consumed with guilt for his past. He says he is already dead and no one can change that. However, he says to take care of those who still live. Find honor in that. For life is short.
Conan still feels bad about this, and his emotions mix with lust youthful abandonment, selfishness. Conan realizes that while a young man from the north is ruled by emotions an older wiser Conan would counsel he exorcise such self destructive emotions, to learn to master what makes a boy a boy and cultivate the man within. For honor is noble but guilt can destroy a man. We cut to a full moon at night as Conan asks Belit why she didn't kill him? Belit says she loves him (oh yeah they're in bed together naked.) A boy walks in calling them mom and dad, saying he can't sleep. Conan arises with an angry look in his eye as the vision shifts to the Cimmerian forests. Conan is now armored and holding a sword asking for his enemy to show himself. A Bigass bear comes charging and they both land blows (Conan with his sword the bear with his claws) and they fight each other. Conan declares that the bear is Mathghamhain, the bear god of the northern wastes and while he doesn't want to kill him he still will. The bear asks what Conan want's from him and Conan charges forward saying "YOU KNOW!!!" He impales Mathghamain and says he wants his son. The bear says he lashes out in pain and anger looking for answers in sword strokes but there aren't any. The bear asks Conan if he remembers him from the stories, and says he knows of the fates yet he cuts at the there which connects him to all living things blah blah blah conan's son never was blah blah blah and says to stop hurting himself. The scene shifts to a beach and Conan (who looks like an elf) is approached by Belit asking if he enjoys this. Conan asks if it's the yellow lotus she says it's his mind.
They rid on horses that appear out of nowhere, and Conan says he doesn't enjoy it. Belit says these are the things that brought them together and Conan says it's painful (You've endured loss you wuss.) The scene continues to shift as Belit says it's because he fights, thinking there are rules, Conan saying there are rules for men....eventually they're in a desert and Belit says it's a journey that the yellow lotus shows answers and secrets if they are prepared to search. Conan says he has seen only violence death and pain, belit gives Conan some platitudes about how that's what life is and that they need to cherish the brief moments because thecae there will be pain and death......god damn it. this is confusing. Conan sees the tigress and asks how they reach her. Belit holds out her hand and they jump.
We flash back to reality for a bit before flashing to the tigress where Conan and Belit sail the ship alone "North of the nameless isle but south of death isle and the isle of the black ones." [IMG] Okay Wood, you obviously know about the other stories so that's no excuse for ignoring them you ****. Anyway back to the story. They sail west trying to find a remote place where Conan can be free of his demons. Conan thinks they are at the end of the world, and Belit says they are in a place known to smugglers and pirates called the devils shallows. They then get off the ship standing on...top of the water [IMG] . We get more nonsense and eventually they dive into the water swimming below until they find a sunken ship with floating corpses.
Review: This issue is shit. Aside from the scene with Tito the entire thing was confusing visions of two dumbass teenagers high on drugs in the hyborian era. THAT'S NOT HOW YOU WRITE A CONAN STORY BRIAN WOOD! The art is ******* appalling and while there are moments it seems deep the disjointed nature of it ruins it. The shifts in scenes are confusing as hell and the heart is appalling. 1.5 out of 10.
Issue #17 Nightmare of the shallows Part 2
Recap: We get a flashback to Messantia and Conan sitting in the jail cell all full of despair, only this time he assumes Belit isn't coming for him so when the guard opens the door he takes the small sharp rock and starts killing people before braining captain douchebag from issues 4-6 with his chain. He takes the sword and frees himself by destroying the chains and impales a guard he missed before climbing out. I won't bore anyone with the pretentious horseshit narrations. He dives into the water than returns to the cell where Belit tells him he was a fool for assuming she wouldn't move the mountain off base to find him. Conan is in chains.
We return to the Devil's Shallows as the two dive deeper and head into the wreck hoping for treasure. Somehow a bigass snake is waiting for them inside the ship and after a fight Conan draws a knife and kills it. They surface and Belit recognizes it as a Khitai treasure ship saying that in the old days they traded with the west in these ships vast floating cities governed by warlords and that the air they breath is history. During all this we hear that they are young lovers in love and that sometimes love does conquer all.
Now we get the narration that sometimes it rings false and doesn't succeed. We go back to Cimmeria. Belit is standing in her skimpy outfit in the cold remembering how difficult it was remembering her vow to never return and how it hurt her. Conan approaches on horse accompanied by riders and in a somewhat cool sequence Belit takes out two and takes the horse of one. She rides after Conan to see him slaughtering old men women and children. Conan says he is and asks her isn't that what she wanted. She calls him her wolf. He says she liked that about him and wanted it and Belit says it was affectionate. We get more twaddle about how Conan is a killer and how belit only now sees it because he only killed her enemies before at her bidding and that now that she sees it she likes it less and maybe she fears him. Belit says she fears no man but Conan says she fears the parts of him she doesn't understand and what is deep inside as Belit kneels in the sand (the scene shifts to Shem.) Belit gets up and asks Conan if he fears what's inside of her (she's know pregnant though not a convincing one) and we cut back to the ship where the narration says Conan fears the terrible and exhilirating love he feels for Belit, band looks around to find nothing before diving into the water.
As Conan swims up he thinks how for the first time he'll start thinking about his future behind the next pot of ale the next village or battle (Bullshit. This is just ignoring the first two series) And swims up a golden chain that somehow appeared out of nowhere until he surfaces to see Belit on the beach waiting for him. He says that she wouldn't believe what he saw underwater just now. Treasure as beautiful as her and he's going to dig to retrieve it. Belit says he should take Niall with him and this is accompanied by a voice asking what. The final page reveals a small boy asking "take me where, father?"
Review: Well this was another deeply stupid issue. Once again wood ignores all the development that Conan had in The Barbarian and The Cimmerian in favor of having Conan as this unseasoned youth who doesn't know much of the world. Look, Conan's young but by this point he's been around and endured things that would break most men and emerged stronger. This was a problem before but it's really egregious here. The transitions are as jarring as ever and it isn't even laughably bad like the first part of the arc (seriously I burst out laughing when they enter the magical forest). 1 out of 10.
**** it let's finish this abortion. Issue #18: Nightmare of the Shallows Part 3
Recap: This time we flash forward to the future. Conan and his son are building a boat and Conan's son is asking what they will name the boat. Conan says he thought Corin, after his father when Niall asks but then states "what does my kin know of boats" and tells Niall to remind him to name a stone keep with a moat after the old man if they ever build one. Conan suggests the Liraz after Belit's mom but Niall assumes people will think they mean the baby but Conan is unconcerned. Belit walks up breastfeeding a baby and Conan explains their conundrum. Belit scoffs and suggests they name her the tigress. Conan is pleased externally but thinks that it's a bad omen. Niall asks what a tigress is and conan says it's a fierce jungle animal, saying he hasn't seen one in ages. He can't help but shake a gnawing feeling. Conan reflects on how he enjoys the isolation and comfort, since they can raise their children easier. However he still looks at them with fear for he knows the fates haven't forgotten him. Belit asks what's going on but Conan still feels haunted by a past that he fears will consume her and the children with more shemite blood than cimmerian. However he bottles it down and goes to fetch Niall so they can catch fish for dinner.
Later on time has passed and Conan and an older Niall push the finished boat into the water as a young girl with blonde hair (somehow) dances in the water.) Conan's grown a beard by this point and his holding his son saying they should teach Niall to sail. The blonde girl called Liraz asks where it goes and Conan says boats can go anywhere. Lira asks where they will go and Conan says that they can sail around but here is there home. While Liraz is innocent Conan still worries about Niall, since he's more of a warrior, with the constant temptation to leave the world and go explore. He'll realize the island is a prison one day. While he's terrified he teaches Niall how to use a sword. He throws the sword on the ground and tells Niall to pick it up. They talk and Conan says that one day what is out there will one day come here, so he has to learn it.
After another flash forward the ship is out in the middle of the ocean burning (foreshadowing) and Niall is saying they can save the boat. Conan says the boat is lost and tells him to watch the flank not the fire. He sees several men moving on the up the beach into the darkness, and eventually Niall does too. Conan says they can protect Belit and Liraz if they stop the enemy here. Conan somehow sneaks up behind the enemy and impales one through the throat. He fights and it looks for a moment like Niall will blow it by not moving into position or doing his part but in the end he comes through severing the hands of one of the men just as he raises his sword before killing the guy. Conan muses that Niall will never be the same again.
This time we flash back to Duthil, and Conan is ordered to kill a pig to provide food during a fierce snow storm. Conan doesn't want to, but Conan's mom says "Be A Man for once". Conan does so but botches the job, causing the pig to die slowly and he cradles it till it dies. Conan's mom calls him a ***** and says that may the gods help us if the house needs protecting since with Conan by her side they'd all die like the pig. Okay I get that this could be seen as when Conan gets used to actually killing, whereas a child might still be reluctant, but only a young child. Conan would have learned that by this age. Once more a potentially interesting idea botched. If Conan had been 4 at this time, it would make more sense.
After yet another flash forward Conan and Belit are considerably older. Conan is building....I think something to keep the shade out and Belit calls him in, saying he promised not to work during the hot hours, and saying Liraz can finish with the ties. Liraz is cutting food and says "I heard that" before concurring with her mother. Conan than asks if there is any word from Niall, and Liraz says that no there isn't. Belit says there hasn't been for two years, and we find out via narration that after the attack on the beach Niall spent two years building a boat before taking Conan's sword and getting out. We cut to a scene of Conan on his death bead, asking Liraz to bring him his sword, which Liraz only partially does by bringing him a stick. The narration says that Conan died at 57 (wait he looked older than 57) Belit died two years later, Liraz stayed on the island and Niall went on to kick ass as a wanderer (good for him. No really. Good for him.)
After a brief period of blackness Conan wakes up in Ophir young again, while Belit has gotten up and has been waiting to give Conan water. When Belit asks if he wants to thank the yellow lotus dealer after Conan asks, Conan says "I wanted to ask if it speaks the truth." Belit says that it speaks what is in the heart.....ok so Conan wants to start a family with Belit and settle down. I can buy the family. not the settle down. Both are two badass for it. Anyway when Belit asks what's in Conan's heart he says too much of the past not enough of the future, but that he saw he was pleased. He confirms that yes Belit was there so she is pleased too. Conan says he's desperate to get back to the tigress. Conan decides to keep the vision to himself due to the nasty stuff (pansy) and in the final scene as the tigress leaves the narration says that Conan would constantly be looking for that small island thinking that such a life is worth waiting for.
Review: Well that's the arc done and I'll admit the last part sorta salvaged it even if it was out of character. Conan sees a vision of what the future could hold; he and Belit could start a family and die happily together. However, this is tinged with sadness when their son leaves them and doesn't return even when Daddy is dying. Sadly even that's not enough to save it, though it is enough to elevate it out of 1-1.9 . 2.5 out of 10.
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Post by lordyam on Feb 24, 2016 15:25:20 GMT -5
Okay. This is the penultimate arc.
Issue #19: Black Stones Part 1
Recap: Conan and Belit are walking through the forest of ghouls (so are they in aquilonia now? Why the **** can't we get something like Abombi or Khemi? ) Conan notes that they are not alone. Belit asks where, and Conan says everywhere, encouraging her to draw her blade. We flash back to the western ocean (oh for god's sake this is like the umpteenth flashback. Take a shot every time there's a flashback or a flash forward. I ******* dare you) two weeks before. Conan asks N'gora if he's ready, and N'gora says yes, that it has been too long. (You and me both buddy.) Conan says the ship is a fat prize, worth the wait. They pull along side, jump aboard, Conan gives a command to take out the archers and then rushes into battle. The narrator states that in the days and weeks to come they will have wished they never seized it.
Evidently the fat guy Conan fought said something about a scroll as he lay dying and Conan notices that those who are trying to keep their guts in tend not to lie. We learn from Belit that the scroll was "worth more than the whole ship combined" and Belit tells Conan to join her in the cabin so they can open it together, while one of the prisoners rants about how the ship is protected and blessed and all that nonsense. Conan asks if they still feel protected given how badly their asses were kicked, but the guy just mutters that they are blessed over and over again, in the shadow of the black stones. In the present our heroes ride through the woods, coming across some men who have been impaled, which Conan dismisses (uhh, Conan you've seen a lot of messed up shit. Shouldn't you be a little more noticing of this crap?). For now they'll focus on getting food and lodgings.
They enter the village, which while not in ruins isn't exactly lively, and is filled with a sense of fear. Naturally the sight of the inn is comforting, so the heroes go there. When they enter the locals are as unpleasant and miserable and hostile as the weather and forest. Conan orders Ale and Food, and we're treated to a scene of belit taking off her hood and getting oogled by the crowd. Conan offers a coin to a boy so that the horses are stabled and they get water and hay, and says there's another coin if the saddles are oiled (how did Conan know the boy was an employee?) Conan goes to drink the foul water but is called by name by a random tavern goer (how does he know their name exactly? Are they well known?) Offering to buy Belit for 5 silver coins. Conan says the offer is an insult and offers a golden quarter, asking him if he's heard of the land of kush. The guy claims he hasn't, and asks for Conan's counter offer. Conan simply requests that he tell Conan about the village. The guy, Arrik, starts to tell them about the ****ed up situation but is repeatedly interrupted by other patrons telling him to be quiet. Arrik says he's had it with the situation so he'll tell them (okay I'm actually mildly intrigued.) Suddenly, Belit says that "Cursed land. Because of the black stones?" HOW IN THE NAME OF **** DOES SHE KNOW THIS!? Arrik says those are words he'd hoped never to hear again and goes on about his sorrows (he lost his wife, son farm, and is in the process of loosing his money). He then offers Six silver coins for Belit. Belit responds by grabbing his hand and impaling it to the table with a knife (YOU GO GIRL!!!!!). They go upstairs to their room, with Conan saying that he's sure no one will be stupid enough to try something with them after the scene just now.
The next day Arrik has been impaled with a lot of spears and Conan (weirded out) decides to just go to the temple and sort this whole mess out. They enter, and are treated by a priest who has heard of their arrival (though before they enter they notice that even in the day no one is out and about). News travels fast. The priest introduces them to his assistant, the boy Conan paid last night, and asks what he can do for them. Conan hands out the scroll at which point a guy in a red mask shows up out of nowhere and starts strangling Belit from behind. Conan threatens the guy by drawing his sword (though the guy was still able to maneuver in FRONT of Conan with Belit. Seriously, Belit was behind conan when red mask jumped her.) A load of other guys in red masks appear out of nowhere and Conan asks who betrayed them (interesting reaction). The boy says it was him. He bombastically declares that Conan will die and the boy will have the horses. Belit's captive says that they will also have the relic and starts to say that no one makes fools of the black stones when Belit says "NOW!!!" Conan lunges forward and impales the guy through the mouth. Conan and Belit than make mincemeat of the rest, and advance on the priest who begs them to get away from him.
Conan asks what the black stones are, and the priest says not to say the name. Conan asks "Or what? They'll kill me?" Priesty says that they hold the relic and that they will damn conan and one hundred generations of his offspring just for touching it. Pretty cool as far as threats go. Conan presses about the value, the priest says it's incalculable and then Conan finally demands to know who to talk to. Belit tells him to let the priest go; given how terrified he is by his masters he'll never tell them. She advises Conan send him back to his masters with a message. Conan tells the priest to go and deliver a message to the masters saying they wish to do business and that this time the master should send coins not men with sticks. Conan sheathes his sword, saying they will be waiting at the inn. The Priest gets up and mutters "blessed" twice before declaring "IN THE SHADOWS OF THE BLACK STONES!!!!" Before slitting his throat. He gets out a final "blessed" after crumbling to the floor. Seeing this causes Conan and Belit to decide NOT to go to the inn and instead camp in the forest. They then get the **** out the church.
Review: First off the art is appalling; Compared to this Brian Ching's art in the Avenger is Tomas Giorelo's King Conan rendition. The scene with Arrik is pointless and it's irritating to see another inland adventure. Wood's clearly heard of Abombi and other adventures so he has no excuse. On the other hand, it was good seeing Conan and Belit kicking ass as a couple, and there was a sense of mystery and dread. I'll give it a 3.5 out of 10.
Issue #20: Black Stones Part 2
Recap: Conan and Belit are camping in the forest of ghouls, with Belit asking Conan to tell her a story. When Conan asks what kind she says "Of dark forests and the creatures that lurk within." Belit presses him saying she wants to be reassured that they are just myths, and Conan relents. He starts to tell the story of a boy who lived in the woods and who was good enough that if he wanted to be found he could be found but that if he wanted to be lost he was as good as lost. He tells Belit the story (long story short, shit happens in the woods and when the father finally found him he was dead by the fire.) Belit rightfully calls it a horrible story, and when Conan says most of them are Belit says that Shemitic stories are heroic of great warriors and women and men who made mommy and daddy proud (this is actually interesting seeing the comparison.) Conan says that his story taught the young'uns not to wander off, and Belit asks "did it?"
They watch the fire for a while, and Conan says that he could just burn the relic and end this adventure. After all they have enough gold and silver. Belit says they will never have enough and that the payday promised by the relic is one they can only dream of. Belit is sure someone will pay in the end if death is the only alternative. Conan counters that the priest was willing to die but Belit says that coin always trumps scripture (okay that was actually a nice jab at religion.) As Belit says that they will see about the black stones in the morning a lot of ravens gather behind them in the trees and flash their glowing red eyes. Day comes and some black men (wait....why are there blacks in aquilonia?) stalk through the woods and advance on the camp site and what looks like Conan and Belit sleeping. Leader dude brings down his spear on what looks to be a head and is flummoxed before a rock drops down from above and knocks his brains out. Conan and Belit are revealed to have been in the trees (they even shout ALARM) and Conan muses it was worth the effort to drag the stones up in the night since it's fun. Even though Conan gave away their position the black guys don't notice (Worst minions) and Conan asks Belit for another.
In the distance two blonde dudes ask what the noise is and one of them notes that the men have failed and that they will need to kill the heretics (Conan and Belit) themselves. Somehow from the distance Conan notices that they have horses and bows, so he tells Belit to be quiet as she pegs the lead rider. The guy arrives and too his credit quickly realizes Belit and Conan are in the trees. Albeit not fast enough to stop from getting hit in the face. Conan drops down and forces rider two off his horse and starts strangling him before his compatriot (who survived a rock to the face) threatens Conan with an arrow. Unfortunately the rider wastes his time proclaiming that Conan will meet judgement, allowing Belit to beat him to death (okay she only hits him once). As Belit says they should take the horses Conan suggests leaving for the tigress, since they should be able to make it in a day, and that in the next round their enemies will send an army. Belit says that there won't be a next time. She'll simply allow the horse to lead her back to the home and that she'll then get the madmen to pay her. She's faced petty warlords before. Conan has no reason to doubt her skills in negotiating, but is still nervous. After all the forest is a dangerous place and petty warlords can't command such men as they have fought. In spite of his fears he decides to follow. Belit is his queen after all.
Unfortunately they are quickly spotted and assaulted with a lot of arrows. The horse Belit rides is nicked with an arrow so Belit asks Conan to give her the relic. Conan does and he tells her that he will go on ahead for open ground. He will find her but she needs to go (he also says to follow the river). Conan is worried that he might be unintentionally lying, but within his chest he's sure he'll se her again. They split off, with Conan leading most of the pursuers on a merry chase. Unfortunately, while Conan can outrun him he has nowhere to run. Eventually the horse stops as the others get close and throws Conan to the ground. The other riders corner Belit and though Belit injures one they tackle her into the river and try to drown her face up (though they are kicking her.) Belit figures that if she's going to die she might as well see the relic everyone is fighting over. She undoes the wraps and a blinding light erupts. Conan's attackers stop beating him and kneel in supplication towards the light from the forest. Belit is engulfed in light and the whole thing is described as enlightenment. When the light clears Belit's attackers lie dead in the river and Belit walks away.
In town the boy runs past the stones through the street and into the temple shouting Blessed are we. He arrives, and is greeted by a white haired woman, who orders him to speak. The kid confirms the relic was activated. The white haired woman says she assumed the journey would be longer, yet they are back with her beloved. She asks where it is. The kid explains that it was actually the relic and that Conan and Belit were hawking it around town. The kid further says the guards thought they could get it back, but that unfortunately the thieves activated it. The woman is furious that the thieves opened her relic and not her beloved, and vows "I will poison their bloodlines. I'll raze their villages. I'll murder their children. Every person who drew breath in their presence will die....these are the penalties." The boy is scared shitless and the witch asks where the foreigners are. Suddenly a voice says "I am your beloved. And blessed am I to be in your shadow. My Queen." The final panel reveals the speaker is Belit.
Review: Well this arc was somewhat entertaining even if it was also stupid. Conan and Belit were actually confident and bold rather than angsty and mopey and I'll admit the tension built well. The art is still shit, the story should not have been set inland and Conan and Belit themselves also behaved rather stupidly. 3.5 out 10
Issue #21: The Black Stones Part 3
Recap: In the forest of the ghouls an army of men walks through the forest with some in masks and others with creepy markings. They storm through the village, setting it to the torch and calling everyone traitors as they kill them. In the church white hair introduces herself as Magda of the stones. Belit introduces herself as....well Belit of Shem. Magda says that no shemite shall be her beloved regardless of gender and tells the boy to get the swordsman to put an end to this. The boy protests, and while Magda says he forgets himself the boy continues that because she opened the relic she is chosen. Belit kneels, saying that she is Magda's to command, while Magda dismisses her as a mistake. Magda rants about how Belit has no idea what she's done, how the relic was meant for another, and how if Belit hadn't interfered she would be with him now, and her destiny would be fulfilled. She lifts Belit by the hair and asks who she is again. Belit introduces herself again and says "Blessed I am." Magda throws her down and asks the boy about the other foreigner. The kid says yes there is another one, and he's a man. When the kid compliments Conan's skill and says that Belit and Conan are lovers Magda's interest is piqued. She tells the boy to bring her the stones. She asks Belit if she has a lover and Belit says the only beloved she has is Magda. Magda feels insulted since apparently the magic infused and binds two people together, with the second part occurring when she kisses someone else (well Magda actually says that it awaits the touch of another). When Belit says "your touch beloved" Magda gets angry, does a demon face and yells at the boy to get the stones.
Meanwhile Conan runs through the woods and starts climbing a tree, wondering how he can fulfill his promise to belit when he doesn't know how to get her back. The horde passes underneath the branch Conan is hiding on (they don't notice him but I guess that makes sense since it IS dark), taunting Conan that they have all night, and they have his woman. Conan doesn't react and so one of the two leaders concludes that Conan isn't there. The other assumes Conan must be and tells his compatriot to get the hounds so they can flush Conan out. Once they leave Conan drops down; Conan is nervous at first since he doesn't like killing dogs, and in any case it's impossible to outsmart a hunting dog's nose. So he thinks. What terrifies a dog? A bigger dog. Or wolves. So Conan crawls into a wolf cave, overcut with a narration about how Cimmerians get exposed to wolves at young ages (5 even) and how as quickly as they fear them they learn to understand them to. In a somewhat good scene Conan stares into the eyes of the wolf mother and manages to earn her respect so that he can lie in her cave unmolested. Conan falls asleep, certain that no man or hound will search a wolf cave.
In the temple compound the boy is saying that this is a mistake. Magda chides him for his foolishness and explains how the REAL black stones are the pearls she's holding not the big ass statues. The pearls have the power. Magda swallows them and when Belit asks how she feels Magda angrily blasts her unconscious while saying she told Belit not to call her beloved. The boy kneels saying "blessed" and Magda (for once in agreement with me) tells the kid to shut the hell up. The kid says Belit will die, and Magda says she only hopes so for then the enchantment shall be lifted. Magda kneels down holding a dagger, monologuing about how she didn't make the rules, how they are all actors on the stage protecting the stones and perpetuating the line. Magda says she has waited decades for her time and that she has earned what she desired. The boy points out that Magda herself said the stone's will and wisdom are absolute, so who are they to argue and that maybe Belit is the "beloved."
Magda doesn't care and brings the dagger down slowly, saying that she will cut out Belit's heart to end the incantation, and that she may well die. However she accepts it since she feels she only belongs with her beloved. As the blade starts to pierce Belit's flesh Conan arrives saying that he is not the ancients, nor is he a pile of rocks, but he will oblige her. He severs her head, causing a flash of light. In the forest the soldiers see the black smoke released, and can only say "no" before the magic is wrenched from them. They all fall over and die. In the chapel Conan asks if Belit is dead or alive. The kid says that she's alive but won't be happy to see him since she thinks she belongs to someone else. However, there is a way. He gives Conan a black stone (turns out he palmed one) and says that if Conan swallows it before Belit regains consciousness she will be his for all time. Conan is skeptical, but the kid says that he's afraid of Conan's sword. Conan swallows and as the kid says "blessed are you" (GAH I HATE THAT!) they kiss (though Belit is unconscious).
Conan and Belit walk through the forest, and Conan muses while there was no profit to be made an evil died and a crisis was averted. However, Conan didn't tell Belit what happened during the moments and she doesn't remember ( [IMG] I'm sorry that's skeezy. Granted the magic of the relic was technically also magic love potion but still). The narration reflects that through these last two years they've shared a lifetime of trial and tribulation with their love tested in every imaginable way. They are bonded together in the next life as well as this. However, there is one trial left to go. As the story ends we see Conan and Belit standing on top of a cliff looking at the tigress.
Review: Well this arc ends and it's pretty bad. Aside from the cool scene with the wolves there's nothing special and the writing gets even lazier (the text says Conan "isn't even able to say what guided him, except that he made a promise." The whole bullshit of belit being infected with the magic was....nonsense and in the end nothing is even explained. What evil was averted? 1.5 out of 10. Probably a 1 is more likely.
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Post by lordyam on Feb 24, 2016 15:27:33 GMT -5
Okay, time to end this. Let's begin the Final Arc: The Song of Belit.
Issue #22: The Song of Belit Part 1
Recap: On the ocean it's nighttime and Conan and Belit loll on miniature thrones, accompanied by a narration of how "for years it was thus" people cursed her, they feared her etc. Their hands entwine. Eventually the ship passes by the mouth of the River Zarkheba, and Belit tells Conan about how the waters are of death. She elaborates that some years ago a stygian galley was fleeing her and went up the river. She waited three days, and when it did come back it was stained with blood and the crew was gone save for one man who had gone completely bonkers. Even though the poor shmuck died the hold was filled with treasure, causing Belit to believe that there was a city up the river where there is a lot of treasure. She wants to go. Conan agrees, and we get an abridged version of the original howard text that nonetheless conveys the original's intent. As they go around the bend it becomes dark and they see no signs of life save for occasional rustlings, the gleam of eyes, and the howling of an ape on occasion.
Conan tells N'gora that it is way too dark, and N'gora says that the moon will emerge, so not for long. The moon does emerge...but red as blood (okay I'll admit that was pretty creepy.) Conan says "Crom" and N'gora says "he has no power here." It's apparent that the darkness of the jungle is making everyone scared. Belit puts her arm around Conan and asks if he's afraid, before asking if he's scared of the gods. The ship continues down the river and we get a highly trimmed down version of the conversation where Conan elaborates on his feeling of gods. They even cut out the "I live. I laugh. I am content." Even more jarring is that Belit still asks what about Crom, since she's BEEN to Cimmeria and has seen Cimmerian culture. Instead she asks if their life has been so miserable lately, and Conan says "you are my shining light, my queen." They go into the cabin to have sex, and Belit gives the "I will come back to aid you should the need arise." line. They are interrupted by a loud scream, and Conan rushes to see a giant servant eating one of the men (his arms wrapped in tongue.) Conan orders the men to move, but when the viper chomps down Conan goes wild, slashing it and causing its guts to spill out. Conan reaches out to save the man, but doesn't get a response (well no shit, given the blood). The snake vanishes into the water. Conan decides to keep watch from now on for the night.
Eventually dawn comes and as Belit goes to join Conan he points out the city to her. Belit wants to call the men to get the bows, but Conan seeing that it's a ghost city and thus not a threat. Belit makes the point about the stygian raiders, and that SOMEONE killed them. Conan wonders about new inhabitants (this whole thing wasn't in the original, and I'm conflicted over whether it makes sense or is just padding). Belit goes back to not caring as long as there is treasure but as everyone disembarks one of the men notices something and asks "what hell are we in?" Belit thinks that what he's pointing at is just a bird. The dude says it's a monster bat, and at closer analysis it looks like an ape. Belit thinks it's stupid for getting trapped on the spire. Than it grows wings and starts flying away. At this point N'yaga is creeped out and says that they had better cut their throats than have come here. Still they continue on and eventually reach an alter for sacrifice. Belit is impressed at the craftsmen ship, for it surviving 10000 years is a lot of skill (I don't have a problem with this actually.) Conan asks who the old ones were and Belit says no one knows. the city isn't in myth or legend and there is no mark on the map. It is a mystery in a land already steeped in it.
N'gora notices four handholds on the altar and deduces that there is treasure underneath it (since priests usually did that) and Belit agrees, since who would dare disturb an altar that is sacred. She orders 4 men to lay their hands on it and shift it. They step back to make room and Belit hears the vibrations and notices the tower above swaying. She tellls Conan to step back, and as he does so the tower falls. Conan Belit and N'gora barely escape (noticeably Belit looks like a chinese empress based on her do.) Six men are crushed and Belit admits she suspected the ancients guarded it well. Conan is shocked and Belit says "let us clear the stones off those poor souls (okay this is somewhat better then the original when the two don't give a shit about sacrificing their normal men.) They move the stones and thus find a crypt filled with shit tons of treasure. Belit is of course overjoyed and orders them to take as many as they can carry when one of the men notices the winged ape rising from the tigress. N'gora says it has been investigating the ship, but Belit is non chant, ordering her men to make a litter of spears and matles to bear all the jewels. Conan says not yet, since the beast may have knocked a hole in the ship, and if that happens how the **** will they get the treasure out.
Conan climbs aboard and sees that the Devil has caved in all their water casks. Conan and the others feel stupid for not leaving the ship guarded, but Conan says that they can't drink the foul water. As the men load the treasure Conan says he will lea some of the men into the jungle for a fresh source. Belit tells them to get on with it, and they will continue here.
Later Conan and his band are in the jungle, with Creepers dangling like pythons, the light changing from gold to gray. They fall into file but can't find nothing. Conan sends N'gora on ahead of him, to march until he can't see him and then stop. He fears they are being followed. N'gora goes on ahead of Conan with the others. Conan waits but soon realizes that the eerie calm isn't a sound, but a smell. Soon tendrils reach out and engulf the men (looking like octopus tentacles) and even lifting them off the ground. Conan recognizes the black lotus and tries to move back but trips As he succumbs to dream haunted sleep Conan reaches for his sword but eventually passes out.
Review: Well the final arc begins, and once more the art ain't nothing to crow about. Even worse is that they cut some of the iconic lines from the story; they were so desperate to cram as many things in that they trimmed down a few. The sense of dread is there, but somewhat diluted. The marvel 1979 version was honestly better. Still, it was nice seeing Conan and Belit giving a shit about their men. 5 out of 10.
Issue #23: The Song of Belit Part 2
Recap: In the void Conan sees a city filled with winged apes who manage to be smarter then men in spiritual aesthetic and intellectual development. Conan sees them live and love, but then sees them being engulfed in snow; this symbolizes the ice killing them. We see visions of rain and the city falling into ruin. We see fossils of the winged men, with the statement that civilizations like that are simply blips on the timeline. However, a few of the winged apes survived living in the forests and the cracks of the earth. Unfortunately they became inbred, with their bodies getting stunted and perverted. Where they were gods now they are demons. Where they rose higher than mankind's dreams they are lower than man's worst nightmares. As time passed they died in the ruins of their ancestors until only one remained. The narration of the song of belit wonders whether it was a dream or a vision.
Conan wakes up and gets up, this time evading the lotus. As he continues he realizes that he is not alone, and sees animal tracks. he gets scared for N'gora and calls out his name. Conan rushes through the jungle, recognizing the jungle as the one from his dreams and scared for his men.. He trips and falls into a tree, but soon sees a mass of wooden spears and shields. He realizes that they are from the tigress. Even worse they were dropped in retreat. Conan wonders what could make some of the best warriors he'd ever seen run. He picks up a spear, realizing that while he at first thought it was a gorilla it wasn't a gorilla, and nothing so common. Soon, a dark figure emerges holding a sword and Conan realizes that it is N'gora, but not N'gora. N'gora leaps at Conan with his sword and Conan blocks it (though when the spear shaft crumbles the bade doesn't continue down to cut him in half.) Conan realizes that the battle fury N'gora has resembles nothing he has seen. It's not the blood lust of mercs, the sadistic pleasure of butchering the innocent, the panicked soldiers, mushroom eaters, or the fever of battle or the wild berserkers of the north.
Conan desperately shouts out to N'goara trying to snap him out of it, for he doesn't want to kill the friend he has entrusted his life to twice, who he has laughed with. Sadly he realizes that that N'gora is gone and so manages to maple him in the leg with the spear before drawing his sword and asking N'gora to forgive him. It's him or N'gora. N'gora leaps and Conan dodges before impaling him with the other end of the spear's shaft. N'gora is wounded and unable to fight and after seeing the miserable sight for a few seconds realizes he has to get back to the tigress, for N'gora's condition is only a symptom of the madness. N'gora charges one more time, and Conan impales him on his sword. He tells N'gora to rest, that he's earned his sleep. Before going to meet Belit (and after a single moment of wishing for eternal rest due to the exhaustion) he drags N'gora's body away before digging a pit, placing his body and sword in it and covering it with stones. Despite the danger, he will not dishonor his friend. Conan hears a female voice as he finishes and rushes to the river, his mind clear. Completely. He races forwards, rushing into the corpses of the rest of the crew, some impaled on spears. Conan can't tell if they died to the madness or to a superior foe. Remembering Belit he rushes to the river, since she's the only one alive at this point.
He arrives, and walks silently onto the pier. As he approaches he sees a dim white light suspended from above the galley deck. Conan realizes to his shock that it is Belit. Though she looks lifelike for a second, it's a cruel trick of the light. Conan sees the situation, and though his eyes are white it conveys the desolation and sadness well. The narration says that Conan's world ended there and I can believe it. After standing there for hours unable to think of a single thought he regains consciousness as the night falls. Against the still jungle the Tigress floats down the river to the ocean, with Belit surrounded by all her plunder on the deck. Conan watches from his perch on the ruins, having regained consciousness there. He doesn't even remember building the altar and has thrown some of the treasure into the river. He sits there waiting for his foes to emerge from the jungle. Who the foe is or what he looks like he cares not, though he realizes that the foe left him alive for last and wants to extract every bit of torture mentally before ending his life. Conan nearly laughs at the idea, but instead braces himself. The air shifts, the jungle stills, and something moves out there. The issue ends with Conan waiting grimly, his hands on his sword.
Review: This is again a massive improvement. Aside from the brainfart of N'gora not cutting Conan in two this was a damn good issue. The vision of the past was creepy and ominous, showing the apes at their height, the winter that killed them, the descent into savagery, and finally declining till one remains. Conan's fight with N'gora was tragic, as I had really grown to like the character. In fact one of the few things about the series I love without reservation is Conan bonding with N'gora. I felt the sorrow and sadness as Conan kills his friend, and the devotion of building him a tomb. The dramatic scene with Belit is let down by the art and overly dark shading, but overall the shock and horror of the scene was pretty good. The stage is set for the final two issues. 7.5 out of 10. **** I'll give it an 8.
Issue #24: The Song of Belit Part 3
Recap: Something moves in the jungle; this time Conan holds a bow rather than a sword. Eventually something emerges; a hyena As the hyena retreats Conan aims his bow and gets ready to fire. The jungle tenses, than releases. A horde of hyenas comes bursting from the jungle, and Conan realizes that he needs to get to higher ground. He does, and prepares to take aim again. He realizes that these are the enemy who slaughtered the crew, and takes happiness in knowing that the pirates managed to thin the ranks. He shoots his first arrow, killing one with a shot to the throat. They rush on and Conan continues firing his arrows, his hatred giving him the force and accuracy to shoot true. However, more of them continue to come despite this, and they even manage to get close to the statue Conan stand on. Conan realizes that they aren't just beasts; he senses a blasphemous presence; in fact they are darker than even the well of Skelos. Eventually Conan finds himself down to one arrow, yet faces four hyenas. He kills one, realizing that even three hyenas is better than four. Conan hits the fourth one, and the final three leap onto him and tackle him down (personally I would have had Conan manage to kill one THAN have the two survivors tackle him down.) They land, and as one of them gets up Conan cuts him, only to get bitten in both legs by the hyenas. As the bare down on him Conan grabs one by the throat and snaps it's neck. When the last one bites his shoulder Conan hurls it off, dares it to attack and than grabbing both the top and bottom of it's mouth and THAN TEARING IT'S MOUTH IN HALF VERTICALLY.
Unfortunately, Conan barely has time to think as the winged ape bares down on him. Conan raises his sword and strikes, managing to draw blood and knocking it back as it screeches. As the beast stands before him Conan realizes that either he or the beast will die. Than Belit appears in full armor and Conan wonders if he is already dead. Belit says his name and repeats what she said about how she would aid him even if it meant coming back from the abyss. As Belit becomes more incoporeal even as she holds the beast back Conan charges forwards in blind fury, cutting it in half before putting his boot on the neck of the somehow still alive upper part. Conan keeps the pressure on until it dies, rendering the oldest race in the world extinct.
Later the sun is rising and Conan and the tigress are out at sea, with Conan making arrangements on the ship and reflecting on how happy he and Belit were these two years and how he will have to seek something more to drive him, for how will he ever love again? We cut back to the night before, as Conan is covered in scratches before sheathing his sword and leaving the corpses. The narration says that something of Conan died that night. On the deck Belit is surrounded by her gold and illuminated with torches. Conan says "let me take you from this accursed place.". Conan kicks the ship off the wharf and sails down the river, with the jungle watching and seeing him only as the victor and not the one who lost too much. The issue ends with the Tigress leaving into the open river, with Conan free but no idea where to go next.
Review: Well this was a serviceable enough finale. Despite how absurd it was that Conan wasn't killed at a few points the fight had a lot of tension and drama, with Conan rather brutally killing a few enemies. The fury in his face when he charges the ape and bisects it was damn near perfect, and even in victory the desolation of what he has lost is obviously effecting him. Still the aformentioned flaws and bad art drag it down. 6.5 out of 10.
Final Issue: The Song of Belit Part 4
Recap: At first Conan is sitting on the shore by a camp fire, than it cuts to...a tavern? Apparently these are the black kingdoms, and Conan is beating the shit out of people in a tavern to jeering crowds. Conan dodges a blow and gives his opponent a final chance, but the guy declines, calling him ghost man before Conan kills him with a single blow and walks over to a table, saying he'll take his winnings in ale. At the table the barwoman says he has credit for a week, and Conan curiously asks why he's called ghost man (wondering if it is his skin.) The barwoman says it's not that; rather it's the fact that he is dead inside. Whatever spark is inside of him has died. She guesses that it was a woman since nothing else can kill a man that dead yet leave him walking as an empty husk.
We flash back to the campsite, with Conan staring at the water, eventually vomiting in despair on the sands. The sea no longer holds appeal; the magic is gone without Belit. Conan remembers her before climbing onto the boat....than he's dragged back to reality. Apparently it was a flashback A man has waken him, demanding a match and putting down his knife as collateral. He demands Conan give his collateral when Conan accepts, but the barwoman tells him that he's already dead. If it's any consolation, Conan died himself weeks ago (as she says this Conan knocks the poor bastard with a punch in the face). The fight continues, Conan insults the guy, the guy charges, Conan dodges twice and than smashes I'm the nose, before killing him offscreen. Conan offers the bar woman the knife but she rejects it, saying she doesn't want the spoils of his sadistic games. Conan guesses that she hates him, and she says no. He wants her to, because of how much he hates himself, but really she's just sad for him. She can tell he was once a great man and a great warrior, a credit to his land. His skills are impressive certainly. But now he is just a ghost.
As she walks away Conan calls to her, and introduces himself as Conan, telling her that he's from Cimmeria (dropping the word bonny) and describing the winter as cold and the summers bonny. The bar maid introduces herself as Thessy and says she's going to get him some food. She doesn't care if he eats it or not but she will tell him one thing; don't die in her tavern. Back o the ship, Conan climbs aboard, wondering what to do with the treasure. He realizes he could build an armada to sail the world, build a monument to her on the black coast they would see all the way from Nordheim. However he realizes that Belit, N'yaga and N'gora didn't die for his exultation in life. He remembers her telling him to make her his queen, and that she was born from kings. However, he is no King. He is a common born warrior who lives. He begs her forgiveness, saying he doesn't deserve her mercy or her love, kneeling before her body and calling himself a fool.
As the text says "you failed her" (well it's Conan saying this) Conan is being punched in the face, with blood flying from his nose. Two men have ganged up on him, and one hits Conan. Conan grabs the leg of the other as he prepares to kick him, and forces him to the ground before twisting and breaking his leg. The other guy tries to yield but Conan couldn't care and punches him so hard his neck snaps. Thessy calls out to Conan and throws him his sword. Conan catches it, and says he doesn't want to fight her. Thessy asks him why, saying he has no problem beating up every man who comes in yet that he's scared to fight a woman. Conan says he doesn't want to hurt her. She says that he can die and asks if that is what he wants as she raises a blade.
In the past Conan cuts the rope and walks away from the ship to the beach. He vows never to speak of what happened, for if people knew the treasure were there there would be wars for it for 1000 years. Conan wants the knowledge to die with him. In the Present Thessy attacks Conan with the blade, Conan blocking it and Thessy pointing out how hypocritical it is that he's afraid of fighting a woman when he's been putting men down for days. She tells him to be afraid of something else; his own death. She overpowers him and as she raises the blade she asks "Can you do that? Fear for yourself". Conan raises his arm and says "Stop. Stop, Thessy, Please." He rises and says "I don't want to die." Thessy tells him to leave and live his life; if she sees him again she'll cut his head off. In our final flashback we see Conan set an arrow on fire and shoot it at the ship. It hits, setting it ablaze. The ship burns as it drifts on the tide as the sun sets. We see footsteps leading into the jungle.
In the present Conan is kneeling on the ground, remembering that when he first met Belit he was on the way to Kush, and since a powerful urge inside seeks to pick up where he left off, he figures Why not Kush? It's as good a place as any and might even have work for him. Conan walks up the small hill looking at a jewel, and we get a final narration of how Conan would remember the beach for years, how Conan would remember the cockiness of youth, that beach, innocence lost and barely remember the young man who he was. However, he will always remember one thing to his dying day; his queen. We get a final shot of Conan walking on the top of the hill facing away from the sunset, and by god is it glorious. The story is over.
Recap: Well, this was a decent issue. In another world and another character it could have been perfect. I even get what Wood was doing with Thessy; after loosing someone like Belit Conan would probably feel pretty upset for a while; wounded at least. Thessy is basically forcing Conan to come to terms with what happened and to decide whether he wants to live his life and move on or give in to despair. Again, with another character it would have been fine; but Conan's been through loss before and he's more equipped to deal with it. This is very like the loss of Iasmini and the Aesir, or his brothers in the free Companions, and so Conan knows how to handle grief. Still, the art is gorgeous at times, and the flashbacks of Conan preparing the pyre were well done. In the end, it's a mediocre end to a somewhat below average series, ending it with relative grace. 5.5 out of 10.
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Post by lordyam on Feb 24, 2016 15:27:53 GMT -5
Series impression as a whole:
Welp, I read this series partially to see if it was really as bad as everyone said and sure enough it was. Even though this was a story about pirates most of the adventures are inland (with the exception of Messantia.) Howard left breadcrumbs of what Conan got up too (raiding Khemi, attacking Abombi) and Wood name drops a few so he obviously had some familiarity. It comes across as disrespectful to the canon; hell it's not just disrespectful to Howard, but to the pastiche canon Dark Horse established. I could somewhat forgive it if it was familiar with what came before but this doesn't even do that; The Conan in this is a modern teenager, very rarely the kid who was in battle by the time he was 15, who lost the woman he fell in love with at 16 and who has braved at least two eldritch sites. Wood's ego in his interviews didn't help matters.
The sad thing is that there WERE elements that were salvagable and dare I say it even GOOD. Some of the arcs (the intro arc, the death arc, and the closing arc) were relatively well done and somewhat faithful instead of dreck like all else. There were genuinely powerful moments in there (Conan learning his unborn child died at the same time he learned about the kid, Conan being forced to kill N'gora and burying his body) and the action sequences were usually pretty good most of the time (the fight with the black corsairs is one of the best I've seen in a Conan comic.) When Conan is in battle he's damn fun to watch; I liked his "battle calm". The supporting characters were also pretty awesome; N'gora and N'yaga become fully fleshed out and likable characters rather than the cardboard cutouts they were in the original Howard tale; We learn to see them as actual human beings rather than flunkies to the point that I actually was able to see the idea of two white people commanding an army of black guys as something not racist. Even the way Belit first met the pirates (she saved them and helped them get revenge before showing them how to live) was a nice touch. Conan's friendship with N'gora was an absolute joy to read, to the point I was saddened when Conan had to kill him (his death is the best in this adaptation; rather than being a sub captain that Conan puts down before leaving where he lies he's the friend Conan is forced to euthanize and in doing so it tears Conan apart.) You really felt Conan saw him as an equal (Conan insisting they not call him lord in private).
Other ideas were not necessarily bad so much as out of place. The idea of Belit being forced out of her comfort zone? Great. Conan being forced to face an evil he accidentally created? Great. The love being tested in a major way and our heroes coming out stronger for it? Great. Conan being put in a position of powerlessness because for all his smarts and skills he doesn't know jack about healing? Phenomenal. Hell I even was able to buy Conan becoming friends with the corsairs even though they killed the crew of the argus and Conan promised them his sword. He likes freedom, they represent it, and they have skills.
The tragic thing is that in the hands of a better writer this could have been a FANTASTIC series. It could have eclipsed Thomas's run in the seventies. However, Wood fails to truly get Conan where it matters and doesn't try to learn. As such, the elements that do work are drowned with bullshit. It's not a truly awful series (well, aside from the drug arc, which was ******* stupid) but it is pretty bad. Final verdict as a whole? 3-4 out of 10. We'd be better doing our own version and putting that into canon.
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Post by johnnypt on Feb 24, 2016 16:28:02 GMT -5
AHHH! I thought we left this behind! ;-)
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Post by rednails on Feb 25, 2016 2:53:16 GMT -5
AHHH! I thought we left this behind! ;-) yep, it's like a bad penny :-)
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Post by KiramidHead on May 7, 2016 11:37:26 GMT -5
This is only tangentially related to QotBC, but Brian Wood is writing the new Alien comic that's currently coming out, and the protagonist is a black female soldier named Zula. Hrrrrrm.
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