Atlas of the Serpent Men - A Tale of Conan of Cimmeria

[ChrisLAdams]

I'm happy to announce my Conan story is now available to those interested.
It's a short story of ~12k words.
From the Smashwords page you can select epub, mobi, pdf, online reader, Word.doc, etc to read on your device, or print.

Atlas of the Serpent Men

[BlackHeart]

Well, the moment has come at last for this story to be told 😈

[ChrisLAdams]

Nov 10, 2017 13:31:48 GMT -5 BlackHeart said:

Well, the moment has come at last for this story to be told 😈

Yes - the unsung moment has arrived.  I anxiously await your impression with this story, Blackheart. 

May your visage never be reflected in the wet sheen of a foe's axe, my friend.

[deuce]

Read the first chapter. Good stuff. Rocks right along!

[Deleted]

Thanks Chris.

Looks great, I'll dive in over the weekend - love the cover.

[ChrisLAdams]

Nov 10, 2017 14:12:27 GMT -5 deuce said:

Read the first chapter. Good stuff. Rocks right along!

Right on! Thanks man.

[ChrisLAdams]

Nov 10, 2017 14:58:31 GMT -5 @hunnu said:

Thanks Chris.

Looks great, I'll dive in over the weekend - love the cover.

Hope you enjoy, Hun. 

I loved that art as soon as I stumbled on it on Deviant Art.
I began trying to get in touch with its creator and finally did. Really enjoyed corresponding with Okan, from Turkey.  We came to terms on the art and the rest is history. I used GIMP to create the remaining details of the cover. 

[Deleted]

Thanks Chris, I really enjoyed your King Conan tale.

I liked the relationship between the characters; especially between Conan (Korma), Forba and Yrdihz the Hyrkanian. The pacing was great and there's plenty of action in this yarn.
I could sense that Conan missed the good ol' days before he acquired the throne of Aquilonia - and despite the importance of his quest he 'drained wine skins' with Yrdihz and his companions at the Scarlet Lass pub and I bet he still missed the carefree days of his youth.

I don't wanna give too much away, but, loved your take on the serpent-men. The introduction of the dagger early on and its eventual relation to the yarn was well executed and relevant.

Overall, there's loads of action, twists n' turns, intrigue, betrayal, loyalty, beautiful women, serpent men and adventure - just how a pulp yarn should be. Excellent stuff 

Thanks again, Chris.


I did notice a typo on page 6 of the PDF:

“Erlek eat your bowels, Cimmerian!” Yrdihz, their captain, scowled. “You’d of done no less and you know it!”

Never fear, in Altaic mythology Erlik can assume the role of a Trickster as well as god of the Underworld.

[ChrisLAdams]

Nov 12, 2017 10:40:25 GMT -5 @hunnu said:

Thanks Chris, I really enjoyed your King Conan tale.

I liked the relationship between the characters; especially between Conan (Korma), Forba and Yrdihz the Hyrkanian. The pacing was great and there's plenty of action in this yarn.
I could sense that Conan missed the good ol' days before he acquired the throne of Aquilonia - and despite the importance of his quest he 'drained wine skins' with Yrdihz and his companions at the Scarlet Lass pub and I bet he still missed the carefree days of his youth.

I don't wanna give too much away, but, loved your take on the serpent-men. The introduction of the dagger early on and its eventual relation to the yarn was well executed and relevant.

Overall, there's loads of action, twists n' turns, intrigue, betrayal, loyalty, beautiful women, serpent men and adventure - just how a pulp yarn should be. Excellent stuff 

Thanks again, Chris.

I did notice a typo on page 6 of the PDF:

“Erlek eat your bowels, Cimmerian!” Yrdihz, their captain, scowled. “You’d of done no less and you know it!”

Never fear, in Altaic mythology Erlik can assume the role of a Trickster as well as god of the Underworld.

Hun - many thanks for your feedback - I appreciate it.  And glad you enjoyed the tale.
I fixed that misspelling and will get a new version uploaded asap.

[Von K]

Looking forward to reading this fairly soon Chris.

[ChrisLAdams]

Nov 13, 2017 9:48:00 GMT -5 Von K said:

Looking forward to reading this fairly soon Chris.

Always appreciate your erudite comments, Von!

[buxom9sorceress]

Atlas of the Serpent Men - by CHRIS L ADAMS. 2017.
[ 40 page pdf file ]

Plenty of very impressive exciting fighting action right from start.
Some great violent gory fight scenes. a butcher's feast of bloody battle.
Chris shows he is a master of big exciting fight scenes, and he captures the raw vicious fighting spirit of REH-Conan very well in this first conan tale.

other twists and surprises are welcome, but plot gets over complicated by the end.

very fortunate finding of needed /essential unidentified powerful magic items.
the magic items are too powerful, but they are key parts of the tale.
final section seemed a bit rushed?

twas very nice to see ancient serpentmen stuff, and their lore and magics, in a powerful conan tale.

Besides mighty Conan [Korma], his big strong war-horse was my other fave character. [ a pity he did not have a name? ]
[ i suppose conan has had so many horses killed in battle that he probably stopped bothering to name them, long ago?]


>> Dear Chris
I enjoyed your well written exciting fast paced King Conan tale.
Thanks very much for sharing your long hard work with us.
I look forward to more tales and poems from your ghostly serpent-like quill.

See you in 'The Scarlet Lass' Tavern where we can drain wine skins together and sing bawdy songs about big serpents...

[ fun fact: 'korma' = a mildly spiced Indian curry dish ]

>>>> This new quality tale is a MUST READ for all fans of Conan <<<<
[ READ and enjoy it, and then please post your thanks to the writer in here ]

[ChrisLAdams]

Nov 13, 2017 14:37:09 GMT -5 buxom9sorceress said:

Atlas of the Serpent Men - by CHRIS L ADAMS. 2017.
[ 40 page pdf file ]

Plenty of very impressive exciting fighting action right from start.
Some great violent gory fight scenes. a butcher's feast of bloody battle.
Chris shows he is a master of big exciting fight scenes, and he captures the raw vicious fighting spirit of REH-Conan very well in this first conan tale.

other twists and surprises are welcome, but plot gets over complicated by the end.

very fortunate finding of needed /essential unidentified powerful magic items.
the magic items are too powerful, but they are key parts of the tale.
final section seemed a bit rushed?

twas very nice to see ancient serpentmen stuff, and their lore and magics, in a powerful conan tale.

Besides mighty Conan [Korma], his big strong war-horse was my other fave character. [ a pity he did not have a name? ]
[ i suppose conan has had so many horses killed in battle that he probably stopped bothering to name them, long ago?]

My favorite sorceress,

Thanks so much for both taking the time to read this story, and to offer your invaluable insight and constructive critiques.  Salut - I'm in your debt.

As to the attention paid to the equines - what can I say, I grew up riding horses since I was 5 and lived my life on a horse farm.  Naturally, being a former equestrian (I say former because after discovering the iron horse I never looked back) I had to have Conan be appreciative of his steed - as, indeed, I believe he would be.  You'll recall at one point he promised him a treat later?  For a name - alas - it simply never crossed my mind. 

<Spoiler alert>

As to the building complexity of the plot I can only say it achieved greater depth as Conan (or Korma as he masquerades) unravels the goings-ons to see that he has possibly been played, but so masterfully, and under such exigencies (his granddaughter's malady playing heavily on his mind, and the later treachery of the thieves he had fallen in with) that he never suspected it until he has the antidote for her condition firmly in hand (the serpent gem) where he at last has peace of mind to think of something other than the danger in which she lies.

I'm glad you point out the tale's shortcomings.  Never having completed anything yet that didn't have its flaws, if this were the first I'd swear it wasn't me that did it.  Having a few areas where improvements could be made, I breathe a sigh of relief and can thankfully say, yes - I did that.  It's not Howard by a long shot - my style is far too different and our lives too wildly disparate to emulate him perfectly.  I only hoped the flavor of the character, and the age, shown through, and from your comments it sounds like it did.   

The token of power you referred to is potent - yes.  And was mentioned as being so in Kull (The Shadow Kingdom) when it was "...stolen long ago from the temple of the Serpent, for which the world would rock in wars were it known to the weird and terrible keepers of that temple..."  I merely elaborated a bit as to its full potential (which is unknown).  I really enjoyed writing the role of Forba, and the mountain woman, and having Conan cross paths with the race of serpent men, which Howard hadn't gotten around to yet.  I believe he would have eventually, and I sincerely hope he would have approved of the yarn.

My good friend who proof reads for me said, 'I see you left it open for a sequel'.  Yep, never can tell when the mood may strike, and Korma and Gallardo might ride again - perhaps with Yrdihz.

A side note, the name Gallardo I borrowed from one of my favorite artists, Gervasio Gallardo.  I liked Gallardo's character.  Sounds like he's got good taste in women, too!  

Yours,

Chris.

[Deleted]

Nov 13, 2017 15:47:00 GMT -5 ChrisLAdams said:

Nov 13, 2017 14:37:09 GMT -5 buxom9sorceress said:

Atlas of the Serpent Men - by CHRIS L ADAMS. 2017.
[ 40 page pdf file ]

Plenty of very impressive exciting fighting action right from start.
Some great violent gory fight scenes. a butcher's feast of bloody battle.
Chris shows he is a master of big exciting fight scenes, and he captures the raw vicious fighting spirit of REH-Conan very well in this first conan tale.

other twists and surprises are welcome, but plot gets over complicated by the end.

very fortunate finding of needed /essential unidentified powerful magic items.
the magic items are too powerful, but they are key parts of the tale.
final section seemed a bit rushed?

twas very nice to see ancient serpentmen stuff, and their lore and magics, in a powerful conan tale.

Besides mighty Conan [Korma], his big strong war-horse was my other fave character. [ a pity he did not have a name? ]
[ i suppose conan has had so many horses killed in battle that he probably stopped bothering to name them, long ago?]

My favorite sorceress,

Thanks so much for both taking the time to read this story, and to offer your invaluable insight and constructive critiques.  Salut - I'm in your debt.

As to the attention paid to the equines - what can I say, I grew up riding horses since I was 5 and lived my life on a horse farm.  Naturally, being a former equestrian (I say former because after discovering the iron horse I never looked back) I had to have Conan be appreciative of his steed - as, indeed, I believe he would be.  You'll recall at one point he promised him a treat later?  For a name - alas - it simply never crossed my mind. 

Yours,

Chris.

Hello Chris,

I found it really intriguing that you did not name Conan's warhorse - it kinda reminded me of the Orkhon Inscriptions of the Türks (6th-8th century) and the Secret History of the Mongols (13th century). In the above sources we get to hear the actual voice of the nomads themselves rather than the words of their sedentary adversaries.

It is surprising that in both accounts the early Turco-Mongol nomads did not name their beloved warhorses! The horses were only identified by the hair color/pattern of their coat!
 

 Thanks again for the great yarn.

[ChrisLAdams]

Nov 14, 2017 3:01:52 GMT -5 @hunnu said:

Nov 13, 2017 15:47:00 GMT -5 ChrisLAdams said:

My favorite sorceress,

Thanks so much for both taking the time to read this story, and to offer your invaluable insight and constructive critiques.  Salut - I'm in your debt.

As to the attention paid to the equines - what can I say, I grew up riding horses since I was 5 and lived my life on a horse farm.  Naturally, being a former equestrian (I say former because after discovering the iron horse I never looked back) I had to have Conan be appreciative of his steed - as, indeed, I believe he would be.  You'll recall at one point he promised him a treat later?  For a name - alas - it simply never crossed my mind. 

Yours,

Chris.

Hello Chris,

I found it really intriguing that you did not name Conan's warhorse - it kinda reminded me of the Orkhon Inscriptions of the Türks (6th-8th century) and the Secret History of the Mongols (13th century). In the above sources we get to hear the actual voice of the nomads themselves rather than the words of their sedentary adversaries.

It is surprising that in both accounts the early Turco-Mongol nomads did not name their beloved warhorses! The horses were only identified by the hair color/pattern of their coat!
 

 Thanks again for the great yarn.

I felt the reader would identify with the horse's description (a black draft horse that was large even for its breed) and knew that when I referred to 'the black', they'd instantly know whose horse I was referring to.  I guess I was kinda showing my raising - I grew up hearing horse colors and breeds my whole life.  While I didn't go into breeds in the yarn, it does mention three common colors.  My buddy who critiques my writings has often told me I name too many names and perhaps that unconsciously played a part.  My Barsoom novels have many secondary characters with names, I did so to add color to the story.  The naming of names is so critical where there is a certain style expected.  I hope the names of the characters I did name sounded natural, including the town and the city.  

And thanks, Hun, for taking the time to read the story - makes all the work worth it.