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Post by Deleted on May 11, 2018 8:31:56 GMT -5
Mark Finn once wrote an overview of all the Conan yarns and rated them out of five with commentary on each one. It was about four years ago I read it but have had no luck finding it again to post a link. Well worth tracking down if it's still online. Thanks Von K. Is it this one? www.revolutionsf.com/article.php?id=3875Here's Mark Finn's overview of all the completed Conan yarns by REH in 2008 (from the link above). I'm going to go through all of the Conan stories that REH finished, as published in the three Del Rey volumes, and I'm going to judge them by how close to or how far they fall from Howard's own tree of knowledge and experience. I'll comment on each story as it applies to the rest of Howard's body of work, and I'll assign a grade from one to five, based on the following scale:
5: REH at his best. Highly recommended.
4: Outstanding REH story; a stellar example of this kind of genre fiction
3: Mediocre REH; still a cut above the rest of the pulp fare.
2: Sub-standard REH; no better or worse than the average pulp hack.
1: Terrible example of REH; still readable, or maybe even noteworthy, but not a best foot forward for either the author or the genre.
1. The Phoenix on the Sword
Grade: 4 Conan the King is attacked by conspirators, but escapes his fate with a little divine intervention and a lot of swordwork. Also: Thoth-Amon!
Here it is, the first Conan story, for all to see. It starts out with that classic bit from the Nemedian Chronicles: "Know, oh Prince, that between the years when the oceans drank Atlantis . . . " Aw, you know the rest. But it's that description of Conan, in the middle: "Hither came Conan, the Cimmerian, black-haired, sullen-eyed, sword in hand, a thief, a reaver, a slayer, with gigantic melancholies and gigantic mirth, to tread the jeweled thrones of the Earth under his sandaled feet."
Talk about brevity. Howard lays the groundwork for the character out right there, before a line of dialogue is spoken or a single adjective employed in the telling of the story. He wants us to know that about Conan before we read anything else.
That this bit of foreword comes from what is clearly supposed to be a historical document of the world, then we are about to go behind what is allegedly known about Conan as historical figure, and look at the real man himself, without the scribes of history to gild or whitewash as needed. Conan is the man behind his own myth, in these stories.
It's all a big set-up, because of what we're going to get next. Conan, after describing his homeland and the gods, says the Aesir were more to his liking and his aide, Publius, agrees with him. This dismissal of Conan's "own nature and birth" is not unlike Robert E. Howard shrugging off his Dark Valley days to H.P. Lovecraft in August of 1931:
"I saw Dark Valley again, which I think I've mentioned to you before. Dark Valley – now hardly worthy of the name, to the casual glance, since many of its trees have been cleared away, and the road, which used to follow the bed of the winding creek, now passes along high up on the ridge."
After the King retires, we get the details on the rebel uprising, and after the sage Epimitreus appears in Conan's dream, and after Thoth-Amon gets his ring of power back, what's left is all of the good parts of the unsold Kull story, "By This Axe, I Rule!" Both are great tales on their own, and while the ending to the Kull story is much, much better than "Phoenix," the overall story of "Phoenix" is more satisfying.
We get a nice picture of Conan in his waning days, with a hint of his previous life, and the real sense that the story is just one corner of a much more elaborate tapestry.
One final note: Howard scholar Steve Tompkins pointed out some time ago that in this story, when we first see Conan, he's holding a quill rather than a sword. This is an important distinction and I think one of the best things about the stories now being presented in the order they were written, rather than in "saga" order: our first observance of Conan is that of a thoughtful, intelligent man.
It doesn't alter his rise to kingship in any way, but compare this "first impression" with that of a young man, running from wolves, and stealing a sword from a skeleton that he happens to find, and freaking out when the skeleton comes to life, and well, you can guess which one is a better "take" on the character.
2. The Frost Giant's Daughter
Grade: 4 A young and battle-weary Conan encounters a beautiful woman in the snow. Will she promise him warmth or bring about his doom? Also: Giant brothers that make for a classic Frazetta painting!
Interestingly, Howard went from Conan at the end of his career to Conan at the very beginning for this story. And it's a beautifully written story, full of color and action and great examples of Howard's penchant for descriptive writing. Howard scholar Patrice Louinet thinks this is a turn on Bullfinch's Daphne and Apollo, and I agree with that. In essence, this is an exploratory story, set in the time of Conan's youth, his first "weird" adventure.
The "dark gods" hinted at in "Phoenix" show up here, too, as Conan takes on another dimension for Howard; he is now a giant-slayer in his youth, isn't he? And that deed is a kind of symbol for a life of greatness. I'd say that it's even mythic, and given the source material of the story and the way REH tells it, this is all intentional.
One of my big problems with Conan is that he's been interpreted so frequently by so many different folks that he's now schlepping their baggage wherever he goes. I started this story with a slight dread because I'd have to revisit the tired old "rape" issue, but as I got into the story, I found it was conspicuous by its absence. This is not a rape story, and anyone who thinks so is misguided.
The woman is playing a Hyborian version of the Badger Game, luring a "mark" into a hotel room, where the husband breaks in and confronts them. In this case, it's a couple of snow giant brothers, but the dodge is still the same.
It's never clear in the text what the battle-maddened Conan will do once he catches the goddess (and anyway, we don't convict people on crimes they were thinking about committing). It's a story meant to titillate, and it's obvious that Howard was trying to find a way to get the implied sex into the story to make it more marketable for Weird Tales. That it was rejected by Wright meant that Howard had to try a different tactic.
3. The God in the Bowl
Grade: 4 Young Conan is caught thieving and framed for a murder that he didn't commit. Can the wily interrogator secure a conviction? Will Conan find the real killer in time? An overlooked story, both by Farnsworth Wright and many others. It's not balls-to-the-wall action, but it's an absolute gem of a character piece. Despite the lack of plot, this is nevertheless strong in character. Here's the argument laid bare: Conan, the outlander, the Other, the Cimmerian, the Barbarian, and he's up against the noble, Roman-esque, Civilized, Refined, City-bred men of honor. Three guesses who the bad guys are in the story.
Howard uses really explicit language throughout this story to convey exactly what he's talking about. When the guard questions Conan, he shakes his head by way of an answer. When demanded by the guard to speak, Conan replies, "I am not a dog." The guard's answer says it all: "Oho, an insolent fellow . . . an independent cur . . . one of those citizens with rights . . . I'll soon knock it out of him."
Clearly, the point of this story is to frame the young, barbaric Conan at odds with the corrupt agents of civilization. Howard is drawing on his own experiences with Boomtown law practices, as well as corrupt politician and bureaucrats in the same setting.
Incidentally, this is the second mention of Thoth-Amon in the series. That this story never saw print in Weird Tales really cut the legs out from under what was probably going to be a recurring characters in the series.
As for the ending, I like that the snake's face is deliberately ambiguous, as if Howard wanted something more beautiful and also terrifying by suggestion, or maybe just cleverly hypnotic.
4. Tower of the Elephant
Grade: 5 Conan the thief sets out to steal an unstealable gem from the Tower of the Elephant. What happens next is the stuff of legend.
A classic Conan story that still holds up. One of the great ‘weird tales' and certainly among Howard's best works.
Considering that "The God in the Bowl" was rejected, Howard obligingly moved some of his ‘Barbarism versus Civilization' rhetoric into this story: "Civilized men are more discourteous than savages because they know they can be impolite without having their skulls split, as a general rule." You gotta love the author when he's a cheerful misanthrope. Howard also indulges in a little myth-building when he has Conan slay the fat thief in the darkness and confusion "with the unerring instinct of the barbarian."
To me, this is the first "real" Conan story. Everything up until this point has been either development of character. We know the man Conan will eventually become, we know the man he started out as, and we know something of the hostile world in which he lives. With these various pieces in place, Howard can now start chronicling the character's adventures as they occur to him.
5. The Scarlet Citadel
Grade: 4 King Conan dethroned by scheming noblemen! What kinds of vengeance can the old campaigner wreak upon them? Plenty! Plus: Another great Frazetta painting moment! More King Conan-y goodness. These at least are all eminently readable, because they either came early in his writing career (like the first two), or later after his hiatus (like Hour of the Dragon). This is the second time that Conan's reign has been threatened, and this time, from without, as his neighboring states have all turned against him.
There is lion imagery thrown all over the place in this story. "Amra the Lion," Conan's pirate alias, is introduced. Of course, the lion is the symbol of Aquilonia, but it's also straight up a metaphor for Conan himself.
There's a great rant by Conan -- in the populist vein -- against the landed gentry:
"Compensation!" It was a gust of deep laughter from Conan's mighty chest. "The price of infamy and treachery! I am a barbarian, so I shall sell my kingdom and its people for life and your filthy gold? Ha! How did you come to your crown, you and that black-faced pig beside you? Your fathers did the fighting and the suffering, and handed their crowns to you on golden platters. What you inherited without lifting a finger -- except to poison a few brothers -- I fought for.
"You sit on satin and guzzle wine the people sweat for, and talk of divine rights of sovereignty -- bah! I climbed out of the abyss of naked barbarism to the throne and in that climb I spilt my blood as freely as I spilt that of others. If either of us has the right to rule men, by Crom, it is I! How have you proved yourselves my superiors?
"I found Aquilonia in the grip of a pig like you -- one who traced his genealogy for a thousand years. The land was torn with the wars of the barons, and the people cried out under oppression and taxation. Today no Aquilonian noble dares maltreat the humblest of my subjects, and the taxes of the people are lighter than anywhere else in the world.
"What of you? Your brother, Amalrus, holds the eastern half of your kingdom, and defies you. And you, Strabonus, your soldiers are even now besieging castles of a dozen or more rebellious barons. The people of both your kingdoms are crushed into the earth by tyrannous taxes and levies. And you would loot mine -- ha! Free my hands and I'll varnish this floor with your brains!"
Conan gives it to them, but good, for four paragraphs, and then the wizard sweeps all of it aside and offers a contract for Conan to sign. Conan spits in the eye of one of his captors by way of reply. Now, that's a rebel.
Conan's trials and escape from the dungeons, as well as the winning back of his kingdom, are deftly handled by Howard. The death of the eunuch, Shukeli, is gruesomely good! Great imagery throughout, and there's a terrific sweeping battle scene that showcases Howard's abilities nicely.
6. Queen of the Black Coast
Grade: 3 Conan escapes civilization and becomes a pirate! Also: Conan gets a girlfriend!
This story contains one of the greatest intros to a Conan story, ever. It picks up, James Bond style, in mid-chase with Conan headed for the docks with the city guards on his heels. He jumps onto a boat as they are casting off, gets the crew rowing for his life, and then explains himself to the captain:
"Well, last night in a tavern, a captain in the king's guard offered violence to the sweetheart of a young soldier, who naturally ran him through. But it seems there is some cursed law against killing guardsmen, and the boy and his girl fled away. It was bruited about that I was seen with them, and so today I was haled into court, and a judge asked me where the lad had gone. I replied that since he was a friend of mine, I could not betray him. Then the court waxed wrath, and the judge talked a great deal about my duty to the state, and society, and other things I did not understand, and bade me tell where my friend had flown. By this time I was becoming wrathful myself, for I had explained my position.
"But I choked my ire and held my peace, and the judge squalled that I had shown contempt for the court, and that I should be hurled into a dungeon to rot until I betrayed my friend. So then, seeing they were all mad, I drew my sword and cleft the judge's skull; then I cut my way out of the court, and seeing the high constable's stallion tied near by, I rode for the wharfs, where I thought to find a ship bound for foreign parts."
Not only is it some great Conan interplay, but it's also a nice bit of venting on Howard's part about the justice system. Had Conan stayed on his own ship, we might have gotten a different story, but as soon as they reach the Black Coast, they run afoul of Belit, the pirate. She's beautiful, fierce in battle, a leader of men, and almost a Mary Sue character. Conan's equal? Yeah, I guess. She delivers a speech on the deck of the Argus that is pure hokum. But it's enough to convince Conan, they young lion, to sail on the Tigress.
What we end up with here is Conan's coming of age story. Howard gives his character his heart's desire, and then takes it away. When Conan merely shrugs his shoulders at Belit's notion of "mystery and terror" along the Black Coast, it starts a rumination between them both about the gods and the meaning of life, about which much has been quoted and written by fellow scholars.
"Let me live deep while I live; let me know the rich juices of red meat and stinging wine on my palate, the hot embrace of white arms, the mad exultation of battle when the blue blades flame and crimson, and I am content. Let teachers and priests and philosophers brood over questions of reality and illusion. I know this: if life is illusion, then I am no less an illusion, and being thus, the illusion is real to me. I live, I burn with life, I love, I slay, and am content."
I wish that Howard had gone back to this line of thought at the end of the story; it would have pulled it all together. As the ending stands, it's a stoic moment, and nothing more. But the mythmaking is still present in the "Song of Belit" that heads every chapter. It's that song that seems to hang like a doom over Conan and Belit. However, what makes this story work, despite numerous contrivances throughout the tale, is that it marks the transition from Devil-may-care Conan with nothing to lose to Conan, the somber (perhaps one of his giant melancholies), with a past that now lives in his eyes.
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Post by Deleted on May 11, 2018 8:58:49 GMT -5
A little more from Mark Finn concerning the Conan yarns:7. Black ColossusGrade: 3 Conan faces off against yet-another sorcerer from Stygia! Plus: Conan gets an army to play with!Again with the evil sorcerers from Stygia. But herein lies a dash of empire building on Howard's part: Thugra Khotan, entombed within the ruins of Kuthchemes, was kicking it three thousand years ago when Egypt -- sorry, I mean, Stygia -- was an empire instead of just a medium sized country.In part two, we find Natohk, the Veiled Prophet (Thugra Khotan in disguise) uniting the warring tribes and factions beyond the Kothian hills, all the better to take over the countryside with. If this plot seems familiar, it's because it's The Plan of San Diego, from the pages of Texas history, and it shows up many times in Howard's body of work.The most famous and visible is of course, Skull-Face, but trust me, there's always one guy trying to get everyone together and take over, no matter which Howard hero we're dealing with. Howard throws a snarky comment into the story with this: "Characteristically most of the Hyborian nations were prone to ignore the growing menace."Conan also gets a dig in on Prohibition, cursing the reformers who close down the grog houses. But that's beside the point.The Prophet, Old Dirty Sorcerer, has a crush on the Princess of the kingdom that stands between this rag-tag army and the rest of the continent. Thankfully, the gods tell her to go out into the street and get help from the first guy she finds . . . wait for it . . . yeah, it's Conan. Turns out, he's in her army already, so she makes him a commander, much to the chagrin of her military leaders. This is Conan's first instance of command, and we catch a glimpse of the King in his actions:"You grow sober with authority," quoth Amalric. "Such madness as that was always your particular joy.""Aye, when I had only my own life to consider," answered Conan.This is the beginning of the Conan "formula:" hot chicks, mass battle, a wizard and/or a monster, a touch of supernatural, and a kiss at the end. Still, within this formula, there are some gems, as Howard continues to build King Conan, brick by brick.8. Iron Shadows in the MoonGrade: 2 Conan finds a hot chick and some crumbling ruins! Also: Pirates!Conan's first act in this story is to stumble upon the conqueror du jour and, maddened by the atrocities said warlord inflicted on Conan's Kozaki, butchers the man in a graphic fashion. Conan's reaction to the savagery inflicted on his brother soldiers is interesting to note.Of course, he ends up saving the captive, who just happens to be a princess, and they agree to spend the night on an island, that just happens to have a bunch of Iron Shadows in the Moonlight . . . There's a lot of coincidence here, from Conan's introduction in the story to where the two fugitives decide to spend the night. Still, amidst all of the clichés, Conan gets one pretty good shot off at the princess:Her lips twisted in a bitter smile. "Aye, civilized men sell their children as slaves to savages, sometimes. They call your race barbaric, Conan of Cimmeria.""We do not sell our children," he grunted, his chin jutting truculently.It's a good point, but compared to the skewering that civilization receives in the earlier stories, it's pretty piss-poor. Pirates and monsters and not much else in this story. 9. Xuthal of the Dusk Grade: 2More ruins for Conan to explore! Also: another cringing wench being irritable!Conan and his female companion are the only survivors of an attack by an invading army, led by Prince Almuric, in that way that Howard had of using and re-using names. They are literally at the end of their rope, when they spy an old city, Xuthal.What follows next can only be described as Howard pandering to Farnsworth Wright and the Weird Tales audience. From the time that the sleeping Stygian dominatrix wakes up and falls instantly in love with Conan, and from the subsequent kidnapping and whipping of Conan's special lady friend by this dominatrix, to the battle and nick of time rescue by Conan (as well as the magic potion that restores all of his hit points -- I mean, brings him back to full health -- Xuthal of the Dusk is simply lousy.I don't like the whipping scene in this story. Never have. It isn't a turn-on, nor even a titillating scene. That it seems to be included for the sole purpose of spinning Wright's crankshaft is a testament to . . . something. I don't know what, exactly. Howard studying his market? Knowing what Wright was buying (and moreover, featuring on the cover)? It's a shrewd bit of marketing on Howard's part, and it surely plays into Conan's commercial success, both then and now.I did notice something, while reading the story again: Howard uses the term "yellow" to describe the men of Xuthal in the same matter-of-fact tone that he uses "black" to describe the men of Kush. The insult, insofar as Howard was concerned, lay not within the color of the skin but the application of the word "dog." Without that noun, it's merely a descriptive with no other implied meaning.10. Pool of the Black OneGrade: 3 Conan the ex-pirate swims onto another boat and becomes . . . a pirate! Also: a monster grabs a beautiful girl!Conan joins another ship's crew and it's pretty clear from page two that he's going to take over the ship. Who doesn't see it coming? Well, certainly not the captain, because as soon as they all go ashore in search of fabled treasure, Conan gets him alone and dispatches him.By then, of course, the female object of his affection (the ex-captain's mistress) is missing, and Conan leads a group into the jungle, whereupon they find some ruins . . . oh, you can guess what happens from here. When all is said and done, Conan gives a small soliloquy at the end:"I think of Life!" he roared. "The dead are dead, and what has passed is done! I have a ship and a fighting crew and a girl with lips like wine, and that's all I ever asked. Lick your wounds, bullies, and break out a cask of ale. You're going to work ship as she never was worked before. Dance and sing while you buckle to it, damn you! To the devil with empty seas! We're bound for waters where the seaports are fat, and the merchant ships are crammed with plunder!"It's really a hollow echo of the stuff in "Queen of the Black Coast." The only thing this story really has going for it is tons of action, bloody and grim swordfights, and that headlong rush that Howard does so well. Plot-wise, however, it's a loss.But here's the thing: In the last few stories, we are treated to less and less of coming to know who Conan is (though he is still capable of surprising the reader), and we see more and more glimpses of different countries, different people and cultures, and more importantly, the fact that this whole Hyborian place is really old; cities in ruin, forgotten and abandoned; once-great castles now piles of rubble. Is it possible that, having established Conan, Howard turned his attention to developing the Hyborian Age as its own concrete time and place?11. Rogues in the HouseGrade: 4What starts as a contract killing ends up a duel to the death with a giant mutant killer ape! Plus: Conan sets women's lib back a thousand years!Ignore this story at your own risk. This is an overlooked gem in the Conan line. Not only do we get yet another powerful Frazetta image from it, but as the middle story in the lot, this is a welcome change from the drek that preceded it. This is the Conan formula, more or less, when every cylinder is firing and Howard isn't pandering."Rogues" opens with a typical example of Howard's brevity: "At the court festival, Nabonidus, the Red Priest, who was the real ruler of the city, touched Murilo, the young aristocrat, courteously on the arm." With one sentence, Howard sets up not only the two driving forces in the plot, but also explains the political situation. Simple and elegant.When Murilo receives a severed ear from Nabonidus as a warning to get out of town, the aristocrat retaliates by plotting Nabonidus' murder. Intro Conan, doing time in the local hoosegow, where Murilo visits him and enlists his help. When Conan finds out that Murilo wants him to kill the Red Priest, he " . . . showed no sign of surprise or perturbation. He had none of the fear or reverence for authority that civilization instills in men. King or beggar, it was all one to him."This egalitarian pronouncement has a nice anti-authority ring to it, and considering that Howard's audience for his stories was the working men and women of the Great Depression, it had to carry some extra resonance."Rogues" also features one of the more revealing -- and controversial -- scenes in any of the Conan stories. On the way to Nabonidus' house, Conan stops off at his lodgings in the scummier part of town, The Maze. There he finds the woman he'd been keeping company with, who betrayed him and his Gunderman friend and left them to be captured and executed. Moreover, when Conan comes upon her, she's saying goodbye to her brand-new lover, whom she betrayed Conan for.Of course, Conan takes care of the new beau in the usual fashion. But he reserves a different fate for the girl. Hauling her out onto the ledge overlooking the street below, he maneuvers the wench over a cesspool and drops her in. Howard writes:(Conan) enjoyed her kickings and flounderings and the concentrated venom of her profanity for a few seconds, and even allowed himself a rumble of laughter. Then he lifted his head, listened to the growing tumult within the building, and decided it was time for him to kill Nabonidus.Much has been made about Conan's resolution with his ex-lover. Certain critics and even fans have pointed out the misogynistic overtones of the scene, but consider this: the scene isn't optional. Howard wrote it, and just so. Conan never gives away his intentions to the wench, nor to the reader, until he drops her into the muck. Only then do we as readers have a reaction to the act.Chauvinism, or just deserts? Howard lets Conan keep his own council on the matter. Ironically, no one ever has a bad reaction to the decidedly brief declaration to go murder a priest in cold blood. Years of "Conanification" tell us that if Conan's going to kill him, he probably did something to deserve it. But the statement is supposed to shock, even moreso than the scene preceding it.Howard's time and place also have to be accounted for. Growing up in Boomtowns in the first two decades of the twentieth century, Howard saw his share of painted ladies and the altercations that occasionally ensued between or because of them. Con-men and card sharks could be dealt with any old way, but it was never fashionable to hurt women, even in rough-and-tumble Oil Boom Texas. In fact, it was considered a weakness among men. That said, it was perfectly all right to throw a woman of low moral character into a convenient mud-hole if they were found to be cheating at cards, for example. Different rules for a different time and place.Later, in the Red Priest's dungeons, Conan finds Murilo there, and they in turn come across the unconscious form on Nabonidus. There the trio exchange stories (the two civilized men willingly acknowledge that they were trying to end each other's life), and everyone is brought up to speed. Murilo says this of Nabonidus:You exploit a whole kingdom for your personal greed, and under the guise of disinterested statesmanship, you swindle the king, beggar the rich, oppress the poor, and sacrifice the whole future of the nation for your ruthless ambition. You are no more than a fat hog with his snout in the trough. You are a greater thief than I am. This Cimmerian is the most honest man of the three of us, because he steals and murders openly."The reason why the two politicos reach an accord is because Thak, one of the Red Priest's minions, has gone rogue and is killing everyone in the house. Nabonidus gives us a lengthy description of the man-ape, showing for us another anthropological bone in Howard's enduring argument about the rise and fall of civilizations. Most interesting is that when Thak goes crazy, the first thing he does is put on Priest's robes, a symbol of civilization, and starts to slay enemies in the exact same fashion as his master. The history of Thak's people also serves as a bit of world building for Hyboria, as well; a reminder of the age of the land, and also to impress upon the reader that Conan's tread is very temporary across the earth.In the final confrontation with Thak, Howard reminds us that he's a master of the action sequence. Standing over the fallen Thak, Conan exclaimed, "I've slain a man tonight, not a beast." Thus the Cimmerian acknowledges the animal in man, and maybe the man in every animal. When Nabonidus betrays Murilo and Conan (come on, you had to know that was coming, right?), and Conan dispatches the Red Priest, he looks down on his handiwork and notes that "his blood was red, after all." The statement is intended to be a kind of pithy rejoinder to an earlier comment, but instead it's an equalizing observation. Nabonidus and Thak's blood is the same color, as is all of mankind. So, then, what was the difference between the servant and the master?12. Vale of the Lost WomenGrade: 1Conan slaughters a tribe for a woman! Also: Lesbians demand a sacrifice!Holy shit, this is a terrible story. No wonder it wasn't published in Howard's lifetime. I guess Howard thought that, since he didn't have naked gossamer wenches in the last story, he'd better double up here. This whole thing reads like finely-crafted fan fiction.Patrice Louinet thinks that it's Howard's first attempt at weaving regional southwestern history into the Conan tapestry, using the Cynthia Ann Parker story as a jumping off point. He also thinks this story may have been rejected by Wright, though no record of that exists.It's my fervent hope that this never made it past Howard's desk. Racial overtones aside (the tribesmen of Ersatz-Africa stand-in for the Native Americans, leading to some really strong "anti-Kushite" rhetoric on Conan's part), what draws the most heat from this story is Conan bartering to rescue the captive Livia in exchange for a roll in the hay.No one looks good in this story. Not Howard, not Conan, not even Livia. No one.This is perhaps the worst Conan story and a real low point for the series. The commercial elements all misfire, and the allegory of Kush=Native Americans when Kush has previously equaled Africans just fails outright. Worst of all is the insulting and contrived hackneyed ending. "Oh, I was going to kill all of the tribesmen anyway, and how dare you think that I'd bed you as payment, even though I've given you no reason to suspect otherwise?"Honestly, this reads more like Howard trying to work out a story, or at least work something out in this story.
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Post by Deleted on May 11, 2018 9:09:02 GMT -5
Here we go, again. 13. The Devil in Iron
Grade: 2 Conan the Kozak ends up on an island with a Devil -- in Iron! Plus: Another Giant Snake and a hot chick to pursue!
This story could uncharitably be called a more cinematic version of "Iron Shadows in the Moon." It begins when a primitive fisherman awakens the eponymous devil in iron amidst some forgotten ruins. Then the action shifts to the Turanian border where the noblemen are all vexed by a bandit horde led by you-know-who.
They decide to trap Conan using a captive Nemedian noblewoman, Octavia, intending to pin him on the island of Xapur, where the aforesaid devil lives. In one chapter, Octavia decides to escape and is caught again. Meanwhile, Conan is lured and walks into the trap; he rows out to the island he conveniently visited a month ago and find the ruins mysteriously raised from the dead, literally. Conan enters the ruins and finds another princess, just laying about, and she wakes up as if from a deep sleep . . . yeah, it's more of the same, really.
Conan also encounters a giant green snake, and then becomes ensorcelled by an inhuman voice. Once mesmerized, Conan gets the villain's origin in a massive info dump. To help us with our boredom, Conan kills both the snake and the Devil in Iron, and gets a smooch for his efforts.
14. People of the Black Circle
Grade: 4 Conan and the Queen of Vendhya strike out against the Black Wizards of Yimsha. Plus: Young Wizards in Love!
This is certainly one of the better Conan stories. Great action and lots of literal swordplay and sorcery makes this stand in sharp contrast to the middle stories.
The King of Vendhya is dying, cursed by sorcery, and his sister, Yasmina, wants payback for his death. Since Conan is leading a bandit horde on the border, and since the state has seven of Conan's men, the governor of Peshkhuari, Chunder Shan, and Yasmina, decide that Conan is just the man to rid them of the Black Circle sorcerers.
But Conan is too crafty for them all. He scales the wall at the invitation of Chunder Shan and moreover, shows up to parlay, royally pissed. This Conan is a leader of men and well seasoned to the wiles of government. He shows up irritated because he's played the game by their rules; he's offered gold in exchange for the men. What else could they want?
Chunder Shan starts to explain, and that's when Yasmina tries to listen in, and when he hears the word "Devi" (meaning Queen), Conan snatches her up and leaps out the window. "Now dare to hang my men," he says with a jeer.
What follows next is a pure blend of action, derring-do, and some clever plotting by Howard, who is now showing us the plot complications rather than having them told in the dialogue. Several factions now want to kill Conan and Yasmina, and they are running to the Black Wizards who will most certainly kill them if they can. What to do, what to do? Take is as it comes, of course.
When the young wizard attempting to seize royal power attacks them, Howard puts forth an interesting notion:
Khemsa's sorcery was based on hypnotism, as is the case with most Eastern magic. The way has been prepared for the hypnotist for untold centuries of generations who have lived and died in the firm conviction of the reality and power of hypnotism, building up, by mass thought and practice, a colossal though intangible atmosphere against which the individual, steeped in the traditions of the land, finds himself helpless.
But Conan was not a son of the East. Its traditions were meaningless to him; he was the product of an utterly alien atmosphere. Hypnotism was not even a myth in Cimmerian. The heritage that prepared a native of the East for submission to the mesmerist was not his.
When hypnotism doesn't work, Khemsa switches to martial arts, which fares little better. Conan is too big to be bothered by Vulcan nerve pinches, I guess. Their fight is interrupted by the arrival of the Wizards themselves, who kill Khemsa, knock Conan out, and snatch Yasmina, lest things get to boring.
Conan mounts a rescue, and the mountain siege with Conan and his men is really the greatest part of the story. The set pieces are wonderful, and the action is relentless, with an air of menace and doom that hangs over until the story's end. This is the kind of stuff that all AD&D adventures aspire to, and never quite attain:
There among the rocky fangs on the precipice lip was no war of wizard craft. It was a whirl of blades, where real steel bit and real blood spurted, where sinewy arms dealt forthright blows that severed quivering flesh, and men went down to be trodden under foot as the fight raged over them.
Yasmina marks Howard's second attempt at Hot-Chick-Who-Isn't-a-Victim, and she works much better than Belit as a character, even if her role is somewhat traditional in the story.
15. Hour of the Dragon
Grade: 5 King Conan in his only full-length novel, and he loses his crown, yet again! Also: Conan gets his crown back, yet again!
Don't let my flip commentary fool you, here. This story transcends everything that Howard was doing up until this time. The world-building is done, and the character is locked in. Now, what's left, is the writing, and this is Howard as good as he was capable of getting. As written, Hour of the Dragon stands as a natural "conclusion" to Conan's career, intentional or otherwise. Also present in the story is one of the very few instances of the quest motif in Howard's fiction as Conan seeks the Heart of Ahriman to reclaim his crown. It's a great starting point for anyone interested in what Howard was capable of doing.
What I like about Hour of the Dragon is that it's intentionally a "Conan's Greatest Hits" story, with all of the history, the plotting, the intrigue, the action, the character, and even the barbarian versus the civilized man, all in one place. It makes me want this story, complete and unabridged, separated from the Del Rey in a single edition, pocket-sized book that I might hand it out to interested parties who know OF Conan, but don't know Conan.
Forget that the plot points are all cribbed from other Conan stories. That's not what you're supposed to take away from this. You should want to read more Conan stories, and in this manner, Hour of the Dragon succeeds handily.
16. A Witch Shall Be Born
Grade: 3 It's The Man in the Iron Mask, Hyborian Age-style, but with hot babes! Plus: Conan gets crucified!
One of the more noteworthy Conan stories, for no other reason than it's THIS story from which we pull the indelible image of Conan hanging on a cross (although the Tree of Woe, from the movie, certainly sounds cool, too) and him fending off a bird of prey by breaking its neck in his own jaws. Powerful imagery. And considering that Howard had the stones to write such a scene of death and resurrection, it's possible that he intentionally wanted to depict Conan's transformation from Fish Out of Water to Living Legend That Everyone's Heard Of.
The reason why Conan is hanging from the cross is that, as the captain of the guard, he's suspicious when his queen's long-lost twin (and thus, evil and twisted) sister returns and supplants herself as the queen, sending her good sister into the dungeons. Evil sister, as the new queen, starts acting contrary to her nature, and of course, Conan thinks something is up. So, the evil sister has him crucified.
And it's there that a roving bandit horde finds him. The leader parlays with Conan, and then cuts him down, but offers no other assistance. His thinking being, if Conan can survive his wounds, and the ten miles back to camp, then he's probably fit to run with us.
Obviously, Conan indeed survives, and he takes over the bandit army, and makes war on the castle to restore the crown to its rightful head, but more importantly, to hang the Captain of the Guard on a cross, as Conan himself was hung by the same man seven months ago (note the number).
Your mileage will vary on this story; it's a hair splitter for most fans. I like it a lot, but I don't love it. There's some good stuff inside, and it's a nice short after-dinner mint when you come off of Hour of the Dragon. Maybe this is another example of the commercial elements gelling just so, with girl-on-girl action (make that twin sister on twin sister action), a nice revenge motif (always good for Conan), and the restoration of good over evil, rather than the usual fleeing of the crumbling ruins. But even as I like it, I'm well aware that this is far from vintage Howard.
17. The Servants of Bit Yakin
Grade: 3 Conan tackles religion in order to get rich! Plus: More killer apes!
More tales of Conan in Hyborian Africa, and this time, he's unapologetically after a cache of fabulous jewels (the original title of the story was "The Jewels of Gwahlur" for decades, which is sort of a giveaway). He's not the only one gunning for the gemstones, however, and soon has to work overtime to stay ahead of the other con-men who are competing with him.
Conan is more than happy to use the religious beliefs of Keshan as leverage to secure the jewels. He is likewise surprised when he finds out the high priest of Keshan is incorruptible:
"Well, I'm damned!" muttered Conan. "A priest who honestly believes in his oracle, and can not be bribed."
With this one statement, we are able to infer that at least in Conan's eyes, all priests are insincere. More anti-civilization rhetoric, such as found in the earlier "Rogues in the House."
When the weird man-apes show up, it's more chase and slay action, with the cringing servant girl getting in between Conan and his treasure. But he's got another plan outlined, as he explains at the end of the story, to fleece the simple tribes along the coast using her talents and his brains.
Excepting "Vale of the Lost Women" as the total fiasco it is, this is Conan at his most roguish, intentionally out to steal and pillage with no thought of battle, honor, or noble obligation. More evidence that Conan is the quintessential anti-hero.
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Post by Deleted on May 11, 2018 9:15:15 GMT -5
and finally... 18. Beyond the Black River
Grade: 5 It's Conan as Davy Crockett! Plus: Everyone dies!
Much has been written about this story; so much so that it hardly merits any more coverage here. Conan, acting as a scout in the frontier, clashes with the Picts and barely escapes with his own life as the painted men push back the encroaching settlers.
So simple a synopsis, and yet, there's so much in this story. Howard himself knew he went off the rails when he wrote it, and on purpose. He was dating Novalyne Price at the time, tired of writing Conan stories according to formula, and by this time, he was owed money from Weird Tales. All of this may or may not have contributed to his desire to experiment with his cash cow; gone are the servant girls, the gothic ruins, and the gleaming spires of civilization. What's left is the brutal encapsulation of what he and H.P. Lovecraft had been kicking around for two years now; the line of conflict between the entrenched, savage barbarians, and the settlers from civilization who have come to demolish their way of life. If it sounds like the pioneers and the Native Americans, it's supposed to. That's what Howard was alluding to when he wrote the story.
Everyone likes this story, and I'm no exception. It belongs in any Best of Robert E. Howard collection imaginable, and certainly deserves its status as one of the top five Conan stories of all time.
19. The Black Stranger
Grade: 3: Conan goes after the Treasure of Tranicos! Also: Picts and Pirates!
Belesa was looking; it was like encountering a legendary character in the flesh, who of all the sea-folk had not heard the wild, bloody tales told of Conan, the wild rover who had nce been a captain of the Barachan pirates, and one of the greatest scourges of the sea? A score of ballads celebrated his ferocious and audacious exploits. The man could not be ignored; irresistibly he had stalked into the scene, to form another, dominant element in the tangled plot.
So says the niece of Count Valenso, upon seeing the arrival of Conan roughly halfway through this story, but it might as well be Howard himself pointing out a few things; namely, Conan is famous, for his pirating days, if nothing else. That's what makes this story so much fun. When Conan shows up, he simply takes over completely. He's driving the boat from the outset, and only the Picts interfere with his plans, as they often do.
This was one of the fabled stories that L. Sprague de Camp monkeyed around with, and it was originally published as "The Treasure of Tranicos." De Camp changed the ending, pointing Conan at a career in kinging instead of more pirating. Certainly from the overt descriptives that Howard throws out in the story, we're led to believe that this is a more mature Conan, and certainly one who could handle the throne. But that's for Howard to decide, not de Camp.
As far as the story goes, it's enjoyable as an adventure yarn, but not as satisfying as "Beyond the Black River." I love it as a fan, but think little of it as a scholar. Not to take anything away from what Steve Tompkins and Patrice Louinet have said or done with the story, but as layered as it may be, there is a dues ex machina component that leaves Conan in the role of spectator and not instigator. Conan stories are always better when he's making things happen, rather than watching events unfold.
20. The Man Eaters of Zamboula
Grade: 2 Cannibals? Really? Okay . . .
Conan runs around in a cannibal-infested city until he meets the one woman stupid enough to be out at night, and they battle for their lives. Conan agrees to help her find her drugged lover.
Thank god there's a priest interested in the woman, or else who would Conan have to rescue? Or fight with? Outside of more cannibals, of course.
The status quo is restored at the end of the story. Oh yeah, Conan knew all along that she was someone important. He just played dumb to see what he could get for his troubles. Ho hum. For the record, I was not offended by the constant use of the word "black" to describe the citizenry. Many folks will be. There was a time, not too long ago, when African-Americans were trying to be called "black." As an obvious simplification, it's no more or less descriptive than "white."
21. Red Nails
Conan encounters a city tearing itself apart from within! Plus: Valeria! Grade: 5
Thank god Howard went out on a high note. This is the last Conan story he wrote, and why not? He -- pardon me -- nailed it. He finished off what he was trying to say about barbarism and civilization. "Red Nails" is the bookend piece to "Beyond the Black River;" if that story's thesis statement is "barbarism will always triumph," then the thesis statement for "Red Nails" is "civilization is unnatural and corrupt." It's a simple sentence, but that idea takes on grand and sinister meaning when Conan and Valeria navigate an entire city that's unnatural and corrupt. And on its last legs.
Much has been written about this story over the years and in great detail. It's second to "Beyond the Black River" in number of articles and papers that have been written about it, with "Tower of the Elephant" coming in a close third.
For me, the real pleasure was finding in Valeria someone who was equal to Conan -- a woman, at that. At the end of the Conan cycle, Howard finally created the womanly counterpoint to Conan and managed to do so without undue cliche or contrivance. I'm going to lay the blame for her at Novalyne Price's feet, since she seemed to be quite influential at the end of Howard's life. A strong, confident woman, handy with a sword, and with her own headstrong sense of what she wanted to do.
Another classic Howard story, from the encounter with the prehistoric dragon to the explosive ending.
Final thoughts
Howard himself once said to Novalyne Price that Conan was the "damnedest bastard," and looking through these stories, it's easy to see how that worked out by Howard's reckoning. If he wanted something, he took it. There wasn't a command that he didn't usurp, nor a tomb he didn't at least attempt to plunder. Rarely does he leave gold or a woman behind. He is hired to assassinate a priest, and ends up killing him in self-defense instead. His eye for an eye mentality is carried out more than once and includes crucifying a man. Conan is not a nice person. That's what makes him so much fun, really. Sure, he's smart, a polyglot, charismatic, and in some ways, also an innocent. But what makes him tick, and what we really like about him, is the way in which he handles himself under duress. Comparing him to James Bond is not inappropriate. We might cringe when he slaps a serving girl on the haunch, but secretly, we think to ourselves, that's the stuff, Conan. Get all Sean Connery on her ass.
That said, as a series goes, it is not Howard's strongest work, overall, with only ten of the stories rating a 4 or 5. Just under half of the Conan stories merit additional consideration aside from "cracking good read" or "lots of fun." Not having done any other surveys, I would nevertheless suspect that a similar percentage holds true for Howard's other series characters. In other words, there's always going to be anywhere from two to five stories for Howard's series characters that outshine the others, for one reason or another. In this case, the best of the Conan stories are either superior exercises in storytelling, or they are obliquely about something else altogether.
Over the years, my appreciation for Conan hasn't altered, but rather become more finely nuanced. I don't feel that, as a series character, it's Howard's best work. However, the best of Conan certainly vaults right over the wall of mediocrity and into the best of the best. This of course begs the question, "What, then, is Howard's best work?"
The copout answer is this: if you take the two to four best stories in every genre he wrote in, and looked at them openly and honestly, you'd find the secret heart of REH. He was capable of being profound and honest with his humorous work, his regional stories, and his fantasy and historical yarns. They all contribute to what becomes a lasting portrait of REH, and one that is, at long last, far more balanced.
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Post by Char-Vell on May 11, 2018 9:32:59 GMT -5
I profoundly disagree with his takes on Xuthal of the Dusk, and Devil in Iron, but everything else looks legit.
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Post by Deleted on May 11, 2018 9:46:33 GMT -5
I profoundly disagree with his takes on Xuthal of the Dusk, and Devil in Iron, but everything else looks legit. Yeah, I also love both of them Conan yarns - it's probably cos I was originally introduced to them through the adaptations in the Savage Sword of Conan. I sometimes prefer re-reading Xuthal of the Dusk (Slithering Shadow) rather than Red Nails!
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Post by Von K on May 12, 2018 2:02:05 GMT -5
Mark Finn once wrote an overview of all the Conan yarns and rated them out of five with commentary on each one. It was about four years ago I read it but have had no luck finding it again to post a link. Well worth tracking down if it's still online. Thanks Von K. Is it this one? www.revolutionsf.com/article.php?id=3875That's the exact one Hun, thanks for finding and posting it. Mark goes a little heavy on some of the more formulaic yarns in the middle of the run imho, but then he is wearing four hats at the same time - writer, REH fan, REH scholar, and literary critic - which leads to an interesting mix of insights. Some of this is subjective but I'd have given Vale, Shadows in Moonlight, Devil in Iron and Xuthal of the Dusk another point each. With the 'healing potion' in Xuthal for instance, it has to be taken into account that REH is a trope maker in the lead of defining a new genre. No doubt that scene was a big influence on Gary Gygax when he wrote healing fountains pools and potions into the D+D milieu. REH did prefigure the potential healing powers earlier in the story.
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Post by stubbs on May 14, 2018 6:28:51 GMT -5
I'd have to do some re-reading to be sure, and I'll always go back and forth over some anyway but:
Best:
The Tower of the Elephant - This might be my favourite overall, absolutely genre-defining pulpy sword and sorcery.
Beyond the Black River Red Nails - Both of these show Howard transcending typical commercially-driven pulp adventure to try something different (while still keeping them as great adventure stories).
Worst:
Vale of Lost Women Devil in Iron Man Eaters of Zamboula
- They have some great moments (Conan vs Baal-pteor for example) but these have never hung together for me or stuck with me in the same way as other stories.
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Post by zarono on May 14, 2018 7:03:04 GMT -5
That's the exact one Hun, thanks for finding and posting it. Mark goes a little heavy on some of the more formulaic yarns in the middle of the run imho, but then he is wearing four hats at the same time - writer, REH fan, REH scholar, and literary critic - which leads to an interesting mix of insights. Some of this is subjective but I'd have given Vale, Shadows in Moonlight, Devil in Iron and Xuthal of the Dusk another point each. With the 'healing potion' in Xuthal for instance, it has to be taken into account that REH is a trope maker in the lead of defining a new genre. No doubt that scene was a big influence on Gary Gygax when he wrote healing fountains pools and potions into the D+D milieu. REH did prefigure the potential healing powers earlier in the story. Right on VK!
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Post by lordyam on Jun 6, 2018 14:25:26 GMT -5
I'll be honest....I rather liked Devil in Iron. Khostra Khel was a GREAT bad guy, the lost city was creepy and well done, the world building regarding Turan was kinda cool and the action was good. I never got why it was considered one of the worst.
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Post by themirrorthief on Jun 14, 2018 18:13:54 GMT -5
I like them all...literary treasures, each and every one
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Post by keith on Nov 29, 2019 7:42:22 GMT -5
I'll have to re-read Vale. I don't rememeber much about it other than the general plot and there was a kick ass moth monster in it.
"Vale of Lost Women," is one of the worst, but even REH's worst Conan stories have their points, and the ruthless massacre (led by Conan) as the story opens is hard to forget. Mind you, when Conan says, "What would be treachery in other lands is wisdom here … truces are made to be broken," he must know damned well that his own people and the Aesir and Vanir can match the Kushites betrayal for betrayal. The back-stabbing and fratricide in the Norse sagas is enough to chill your teeth.
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Post by Jason Aiken on Dec 16, 2019 0:07:29 GMT -5
I'll be honest....I rather liked Devil in Iron. Khostra Khel was a GREAT bad guy, the lost city was creepy and well done, the world building regarding Turan was kinda cool and the action was good. I never got why it was considered one of the worst. I'm right there with you in that, yam. As a matter of fact Devil in Iron is my favorite Conan story. I know the plot is redundant and it's not a masterpiece like Queen of the Black Coast or The Tower of the Elephant, but it's stuck with me more than any of the other tales and it's one I keep coming back to read time and again.
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