|
Post by buxom9sorceress on Feb 5, 2019 15:41:46 GMT -5
Dear Norse Bard Chris, that is a great and vicious viking raid saga. the vivid atmosphere sucked me right in.... Norse Bard Chris! I love it! Where do you come up with these? Kind of has a certain ring to it, by Freya! Thanks, Sorceress. I'm thrilled you found this one titillating, and hope to suck you in again in the future. By Loki's clanking Mating Chains! i have been making up captions, names and places for fantasy stuff for about the last 16 years. Lots of wild practice. i have always been a sucker for a big gnarled prow beast. keep up the good work, Norse Bard Chris. == See you all up in the Flatulence Fiord for the Festival of Fecal Fumaroles? [ where the priests burn the dung of dragons and gods while singing filthy bawdy songs ] -- [ that lot should inspire some fun norse limericks, eh? ]
|
|
|
Post by ChrisLAdams on Feb 5, 2019 16:14:32 GMT -5
Norse Bard Chris! I love it! Where do you come up with these? Kind of has a certain ring to it, by Freya! Thanks, Sorceress. I'm thrilled you found this one titillating, and hope to suck you in again in the future. By Loki's clanking Mating Chains! i have been making up captions, names and places for fantasy stuff for about the last 16 years. Lots of wild practice. i have always been a sucker for a big gnarled prow beast. keep up the good work, Norse Bard Chris. == See you all up in the Flatulence Fiord for the Festival of Fecal Fumaroles? [ where the priests burn the dung of dragons and gods while singing filthy bawdy songs ] -- [ that lot should inspire some fun norse limericks, eh? ]
Óld Óle and His Mead!
When old Óle got to drinkin', there was sure to be some stinkin' - cause he didn't like to wash, an' thought changin' clothes was bosh - an when he drank he passed gas without thinkin'
But he did so love his mead, when he ran low he was known to plead - with his wife to give him more, for that sweet drink, he did adore - although he later farted constantly, and peed!
|
|
|
Post by Grim Wanderer on Feb 6, 2019 12:29:13 GMT -5
By Loki's clanking Mating Chains! i have been making up captions, names and places for fantasy stuff for about the last 16 years. Lots of wild practice. i have always been a sucker for a big gnarled prow beast. keep up the good work, Norse Bard Chris. == See you all up in the Flatulence Fiord for the Festival of Fecal Fumaroles? [ where the priests burn the dung of dragons and gods while singing filthy bawdy songs ] -- [ that lot should inspire some fun norse limericks, eh? ]
Óld Óle and His Mead!
When old Óle got to drinkin', there was sure to be some stinkin' - cause he didn't like to wash, an' thought changin' clothes was bosh - an when he drank he passed gas without thinkin'
But he did so love his mead, when he ran low he was known to plead - with his wife to give him more, for that sweet drink, he did adore - although he later farted constantly, and peed!
Poor Óle, dependent on his wife for mead. At least he's a happy drunk.
|
|
|
Post by ChrisLAdams on Feb 6, 2019 13:42:22 GMT -5
Poor Óle, dependent on his wife for mead. At least he's a happy drunk. By Bragi's balls - she knows how to keep her man happy, there Grim! Just look at his sweet, smilin' face! Óld Óle was one prone to swig, when he did he'd dance quite a jig - his wife made him all smiles, with her big boobs and beguiles - for water and twigs he wouldn't give a fig
|
|
|
Post by buxom9sorceress on Feb 6, 2019 17:33:32 GMT -5
~~~ Carry on up the Jungle ~~~
In darkest jungle forest far below Kush there ruled a warped Giant with a talking bush While She chewed more humans as food her bush recited limericks, crude Only when she closed her big legs did it hush. ~~~~~ [ it's a good magic trick if you know some ventriloquism ] [ She invented the vagina limericks and monologues ] - [ by Buxom Sorceress --- 2019 ]----[po76]
==== ==== >>>> Hey Chris, thanks very much for your 3 Ole fun limericks: bawdy crudeness we can all LOL at as we splutter into our frothy beer.
|
|
|
Post by Grim Wanderer on Feb 6, 2019 20:08:53 GMT -5
~~~ Carry on up the Jungle ~~~
In darkest jungle forest far below Kush there ruled a warped Giant with a talking bush While She chewed more humans as food her bush recited limericks, crude Only when she closed her big legs did it hush. ~~~~~ [ it's a good magic trick if you know some ventriloquism ] [ She invented the vagina limericks and monologues ] - [ by Buxom Sorceress --- 2019 ]----[po76]
==== ==== >>>> Hey Chris, thanks very much for your 3 Ole fun limericks: bawdy crudeness we can all LOL at as we splutter into our frothy beer. Carry On... LOL! A magic fanny like that would be worth a fortune today! I know it's wrong but for some reason(?) I'm seeing Barbara Windsor when I read this.
|
|
|
Post by ChrisLAdams on Feb 7, 2019 9:24:38 GMT -5
~~~ Carry on up the Jungle ~~~
In darkest jungle forest far below Kush there ruled a warped Giant with a talking bush While She chewed more humans as food her bush recited limericks, crude Only when she closed her big legs did it hush. ~~~~~ [ it's a good magic trick if you know some ventriloquism ] [ She invented the vagina limericks and monologues ] - [ by Buxom Sorceress --- 2019 ]----[po76]
==== ==== >>>> Hey Chris, thanks very much for your 3 Ole fun limericks: bawdy crudeness we can all LOL at as we splutter into our frothy beer.
With that Kush Giant's kitten, a certain troll was smitten; For that thing could talk - it did everything but walk! But when he tried to get fresh - he got bitten!Haha! That is one crazy Kush Giant spittin' limericks with her kitten, there, Sorceress! I think you must have a toddy of an evening made with a few drops of a tincture made with Poe's and Howard's remains--you've quite the imagination.
|
|
|
Post by ChrisLAdams on Feb 8, 2019 10:08:22 GMT -5
Old Óle’s wife was a Viking's dream, She always kept him happy, And in case of drunken accidents, She made him a chain-mail nappy.
...... I like to imagine she was quite a smokin' Scandinavian.... turned that poor boy's head something fierce!
|
|
|
Post by buxom9sorceress on Feb 11, 2019 21:44:34 GMT -5
~~~ Carry on up the Jungle ~~~
In darkest jungle forest far below Kush there ruled a warped Giant with a talking bush....
Aha! Quimericks! ...... Ah yes. Who could forget the delicious double meanings of the QUIMERICK. Thanks. >>>>[ to clarify for newcomers: i invented the Quimerick. tis like a basic Limerick with 5 lines. But EVERY line should rhyme with each other. its a good extra challenge for experienced rhymers and limerick fans. try it and have some fun? Quimericks can ofcourse be fun or serious verse. ]
|
|
|
Post by buxom9sorceress on Feb 11, 2019 21:49:25 GMT -5
~~~ Carry on up the Jungle ~~~ Carry On... LOL! A magic fanny like that would be worth a fortune today! I know it's wrong but for some reason(?) I'm seeing Barbara Windsor when I read this. Thanks very much. if all us women had a talking bush it would drive most men nuts and they would need to wear earplugs just to get an erection? And the double nagging from both ends might be unbearable for guys trying to concentrate hard?
|
|
|
Post by buxom9sorceress on Feb 11, 2019 21:58:28 GMT -5
~~~ Carry on up the Jungle ~~~ In darkest jungle forest far below Kush there ruled a warped Giant with a talking bush...
With that Kush Giant's kitten, a certain troll was smitten; For that thing could talk - it did everything but walk! But when he tried to get fresh - he got bitten!Haha! That is one crazy Kush Giant spittin' limericks with her kitten, there, Sorceress! I think you must have a toddy of an evening made with a few drops of a tincture made with Poe's and Howard's remains--you've quite the imagination. Hey thanks very much for your fun 'kitten' limerick. it made me purr like a very happy feline. When you have your own hungry bush it seems to have a mind of its own and your female imagination soars far higher than just sexual lust.
|
|
|
Post by ChrisLAdams on Feb 22, 2019 15:03:11 GMT -5
With that Kush Giant's kitten, a certain troll was smitten; For that thing could talk - it did everything but walk! But when he tried to get fresh - he got bitten! Hey thanks very much for your fun 'kitten' limerick. it made me purr like a very happy feline... Happy to oblige
|
|
|
Post by ChrisLAdams on Feb 22, 2019 15:12:53 GMT -5
I wasn't sure I was going to finish this poem or not. It started out as one of those where you get an idea for a line or two, and think your're onto something, then it just sort of dwindles to nothing. It is loosely based upon a short story I started writing some twenty-five years ago but never finished. I've worked on the story a handful of times over the years; it's still unfinished. Who knows -- I may do so again. But I am happy I finished the poem.
Young Rellen
Poor young Rellen, fell by the way, killed by a Vor when he faltered today - We all knew the lad, and all his folk, too… I saw his blood flow, and his face turn gray
Whatever whore birthed that jet-black Vor I'd split its skull, by Avaulta's Breasts, I swore - That steel-visored vermin, and all his get, too… If I killed them all, I'd still want to kill more
They hit us last dusk, and sacked our town, jet-black Vors from the desert, southbound - We fought like mad, aye, our women did, too… But now they're captives; we let them all down
The Vors marched us south, to their desert lands, with its pitiless sun, and its flesh-baking sands We warriors try to help the weaker make do… We'd die for our kith – aye, we'd die to a man
But tied neck-to-neck, what could we do? Destined to die--a slave--for all we knew – As for our women – Vors ate them in stew… They were known to devour those whom they slew
Covered in armor and razors and gore, reeking of piss, and filthy rot galore – Animals parading about as men do… Making perpetual, unceasing red war
In a stand of douâh we paused to take rest, our captors on steids about us tight pressed - Their scaled-mounts, it seemed, hated us, too… Anger broiled as I became one possessed
"For Rellen! For Rellen! For Rellen!" I cried, wrapping my chains 'bout that Vor's neck til he died – Then all of our men, and all our women, too… Choked those Vors as they gurgled, wide-eyed
That lad's name became our rallying cry, He would've proud, that 'pon hearing it - Vors died – Yes, he'd slain Vors, and right enjoyed it, too… I stand unashamed that, for Rellen, I cried
Many of us were skewered on Vor blades, tis true, And after the slaughter those standing were few - But a handful of men, and women and children, too… Out of all our numbers, had managed to pull through
We buried the vermin and mounted their steids, And rode those foul beasts, tho' we preferred our own breeds – We took all their arms, and their provisions, too… Then hied to the north, where we'd sing of our deeds
|
|
|
Post by buxom9sorceress on Feb 22, 2019 23:39:27 GMT -5
I wasn't sure I was going to finish this poem or not. It started out as one of those where you get an idea for a line or two, and think your're onto something, then it just sort of dwindles to nothing. It is loosely based upon a short story I started writing some twenty-five years ago but never finished. I've worked on the story a handful of times over the years; it's still unfinished. Who knows -- I may do so again. But I am happy I finished the poem. Young Rellen Poor young Rellen, fell by the way, killed by a Vor when he faltered today - We all knew the lad, and all his folk, too… I saw his blood flow, and his face turn gray ....i always like a vicious rebellion against grim evil. Good one, Chris. [ glad you nurtured this seed for 25 years. i salute your great dedication to creative writings. ] ==== ==== [ "For Rellen!" the tall strong busty Sorceress cried as she easily lifted the choking Thief up high by his throat, and then tossed him off the top of her grim high E-bone Tower. His doll-like floppy body bounced off the rocks and splashed into the quiet dark green moat. The huge guardian Crocodile beast was already on its way, hungry and excited but unseen. Later, when he bit the head off and spat it onto the bank, the delighted Sorceress would probably ride him naked and stroke his big belly scales with loving affection. He had been in love with her magical beauty for over 300 years. [ she had bought him as an egg from a powerful Stygian Beast-Master, and raised him in her garden pool ] ]
|
|
|
Post by ChrisLAdams on Feb 25, 2019 15:30:30 GMT -5
I wasn't sure I was going to finish this poem or not. It started out as one of those where you get an idea for a line or two, and think your're onto something, then it just sort of dwindles to nothing. It is loosely based upon a short story I started writing some twenty-five years ago but never finished. I've worked on the story a handful of times over the years; it's still unfinished. Who knows -- I may do so again. But I am happy I finished the poem. Young Rellen Poor young Rellen, fell by the way, killed by a Vor when he faltered today - We all knew the lad, and all his folk, too… I saw his blood flow, and his face turn gray ....i always like a vicious rebellion against grim evil. Good one, Chris. [ glad you nurtured this seed for 25 years. i salute your great dedication to creative writings. ] ==== ==== [ "For Rellen!" the tall strong busty Sorceress cried as she easily lifted the choking Thief up high by his throat, and then tossed him off the top of her grim high E-bone Tower. His doll-like floppy body bounced off the rocks and splashed into the quiet dark green moat. The huge guardian Crocodile beast was already on its way, hungry and excited but unseen. Later, when he bit the head off and spat it onto the bank, the delighted Sorceress would probably ride him naked and stroke his big belly scales with loving affection. He had been in love with her magical beauty for over 300 years. [ she had bought him as an egg from a powerful Stygian Beast-Master, and raised him in her garden pool ] ] I think Rellen would much rather spend the night in your glorious tower than lying face down in a desert trail in his own gore! Writing that poem did galvanize interest in me once more to pull that dusty story out of the vault and just finish it. It's long overdue. I had another story that I began writing about the same time--which also got set aside--that I did finally complete and publish a couple years back, a dystopian time-travel yarn called The Valley of Despair. It had been so long since I started writing it, that I'd completely forgotten where I was going with the plot. So, I came up with a new ending for it, which segued into a sequel called The Cosmos of Despair. Sometimes it pays to revisit that stuff. You never know where it may lead!
|
|