Love and the Apocalypse with Gambit and Valeria

[themirrorthief]

any faint resemblance to any person living or dead or character imagined or other wise was not intended.  In fact it may be a symptom of a degraded intellect


The great nuclear war had destroyed almost everything and everyone. The X-Men were all dead except for Gambit. A few dusty little towns were all that remained, somewhere out west. Gambit roamed around on an old motorcycle. He had nothing but the bike and a gun. It was tough, tough times to say the least. He thought about Rogue sometimes. He wondered if she might have survived. He didn't think so but she was a lot stronger than a normal person so who knew for certain. Besides, how could he look for anyone when three fourths of the continent was saturated with deadly radiation. He needed gas, that was certain. It was also certain that he might have to kill for it, or maybe find a bicycle. It was a tough choice but what the hell could he do about it. It didn't help that he was always horny too. Why did he have to be one of the few healthy males left in the world? Did God have a plan? Was there a God? God help us all he mused.

Gambit pulled over at a little dirty bar. There might be someone inside who could fix him up with enough gas to make it to the next town. He might settle down in the next town...wtf? He needed to settle down he supposed. A man couldn't wonder around forever like a lost soul in purgatory.

Inside the bar there were quite a few people, a least four including the bartender. That was a crowd. There were two really dirty looking a holes harassing a young girl over by the jukebox. The jukebox was playing, the place must have a generator...that meant gas! He tried to not get to excited.
"Beer please," he said. "All we have is whiskey, moonshine."

"Then I will have whiskey then," Gambit half grunted while stealing a look at the chick with the two dudes. She had large boobs. Gambit liked that a lot. He tried not to stare but he didn't try to hard. He remembered Storm from the X-Men. She had some big boobs too. Rogue didn't like it when he stared at them. She really got mad when he got a boner at the same time...women...can't live with them, can't kill them. He chuckled at his own joke and downed the whiskey. It was good, real good. He ordered another. "Have you got money dude?" The bartender asked, sounding a bit suspicious. Gambit threw a thousand dollar bill on the counter.

"OK, that will cover five drinks," said the bartender.

Gambit nodded and downed another. It was good stuff, his head felt better, lots better. He wished he had a fat joint too. The X-Men always had weed. Even the professor smoked the stuff. They grew it themselves too. Thats how they financed their fancy uniforms and stuff.

"I need a gallon or two of gas, can you fix me up?"

"You got to ask my brother over there, but it will cost you at least twenty grand."

Gambit didn't have that much but he had the gun. It was a small .380 but it was bad. He went over and asked for the gas man.

"Get lost you jerk, can't you see we are about the get busy with this young lady?"

Gambit didn't like the looks of things. The girl was crying, obviously she was terrified. He didn't like that sort of thing. He always tried to be nice to ladies, event to the ones that didn't want to have sex with him.

"Besides," the dirty man said. "We dont truck with cajuns around here, we kill them on sight." The dirty man moved his hand towards a large knife. Gamit sighed and shot the man in the head. Blood gushed out and the other guy got up quickly. Gambit motioned for the door. The dude ran out. Gambit turned and ducked just in time as a shotgun blast burned just over his head. Gambit fired twice and the bartender screamed and dropped his weapon. His chest featured a quickly spreading red fountain. He slumped over. Gambit walked behind the bar and fixed himself another drink. He also cleaned out the cash register. Two thousand, not bad except that one thousand had been his.

"The gas is out back in the shed," the girl said. "Please don't rape me."

The girl was very pretty, she had long blond hair and sweet lips. Gambit knew he wanted some but he would have to turn on the charm. "I hope you don't mind the fireworks, those guys were rude and I thought you could use a little different company. If you want to ride with me to the next town I will be glad to give you a lift. Do you have any grass, I could use a good buzz after all this killing."

The girl smiled a little. "Thank you not raping me, my name is Angie. I do have some pot, only a few joints but its pretty good stuff. Can I trust you not to rape me if I leave here with you. I can't stay here, there is an entire gang of these jerks, more could arrive at any second."

"Let's get moving then, and twist up a fatty sweetheart."
"I love your Cajun accent."

"Thanks, it took me a long time to perfect it."

Gambit filled up the cycle and took along another gallon in an empty milk jug. Angies squeezed up tight behind him, her big boobs crushed against his back. As soon as they put a few miles between them and the bar, he pulled over and they smoked the weed. It was good stuff. Gambit washed it down with a bottle he had confiscated. He had a woman, plenty of weed and booze. He stopped thinking about Rogue and gunned the bike. It was almost good to be alive.

The next town was such a sad place they just kept going. They made camp finally and Gambit spread his blanket. "It gets cold out here at night, hope you don't mind bedding down with me, I only have one blanket."

Her body pushed up close to his felt really good. It didn't help that he was pretty wasted. However, he must have been more tired than he realized because all of a sudden he fell asleep. The next morning he woke with a start. Angie was nowhere in sight but he heard splashing. He followed the sound and found Angie naked, taking a bath in a pretty little stream. He boobs glistened in the sunlight and the rest of her body was nice too. He knew women, healthy women, were hard to find. He took off his clothes too and surprised the girl.

Her eyes opened wide, especially when she glimpsed his impressive manly equipment. "Are you going to rape me?" she asked.

"No, I stink and need a bath too."

Gambit washed himself and it felt really good to be clean. The stream was small but cold. He drank some water and it was pure. "This would be a good place to camp for awhile."
"We could build a lean to," Angie said.

"Hmmm," Gambit replied. The non-committment was clear in his voice.
"Why don't you dry off and fetch another joint?"

For some reason they didn't put their clothes back on. They just sat and soaked up the early morning sun and puffed some more dope. For some reason Gambit didn't even want to get drunk again. The more he looked at Angie's wonderful boobs the more horny he got. He soon has a full fledged flag pole.

"Its huge Mr Gambit, are you sure you dont want to rape me."

Gambit was about to answer when he heard a voice order him to not move. He turned around slowly, there were three dirty women armed with crudely fashioned spears. "We will kill you if we need to," one of the women warned. Gambit was naked and unarmed at the moment. He knew those girls were half wild and plenty capable of killing him. "What do you ladies want?" He asked.

"First you must give us all sex, and we are very needy."

Gambit nodded, it was gonna be a long day. He wondered what Professor X would have advised in this situation. That pathetic old cripple egghead wouldnt have done doo doo most likely. Gambit hated that man, or at least almost hated him. "Would you girls please wash up a little, I am clean and it would greatly increase my desire for you if you bathed." They mumbled among themselves for several moments before appearing to agree. The bathed one at a time while two kept a razor sharpe obsidian stone spear pressed to the throats of both Gambit and Angie. Angie was very scared. These types of physicall strong, female barbarians could intimidate a freaking Freddy Krueger. Pizza was what Gambit wanted for lunch. However, it appeared his lunch would radically different.

A mere hour later and half a jug of shine had helped Gambit push through the ordeal of pleasuring the three savage Amazon women. Finally, the three barbarians had drank enough to let down their guard. The leader called herself Valeria. She was a fearsome woman but also very sexy with her long blond hair, supple limbs, and huge soft eyes. Gambit was only a man after all. His full attention soon shifted to Valeria, what a freaking female she was. She reminded Gambit of a movie star like Amanda Seyfriend or Marion Cotillard. She was a lot more cultured than one would suspect as well. Her breasts were large but very firm. Gambit's eyes almost bled with desire. He was high on a mountain(s) of love. And how.

Gambit noticed that Valeria carried a long slender sword at her side. Gambit suspected that the senuously limbed warrior was adept at the sword and the spear she carried. He pondered if she were not adept at many things. Gambit cursed himself under his breath. Booze and women didnt mix. He could feel the urge coming to mix a mess of both into a big old stew and gulp down his fill. It was a comforting thought. "Who are the other girls?" He asked hopefully.

"They have no names, they are just my slaves. The amulet I wear of the Golden Sull Clan makes me the leader and master. I have others as well but as late I have lost track of them. I left them in the care of a vacant headed Barbarian brute named Conan. That proves he has made me mad. He sexes me well Gambit, as did you."

Gambit had no intention of locking horns with some WWE escapee. He was ready to move. At last all the girl barbarians had passed out save for Valeria. Gambit grimaced and struck her a mean left cross with his right. She groaned, eyed him stupified, and then she melted to the ground. She mumbled something he could not understand before snatching up Angie and heading for his bike. Along the way they grabbed as much of their stuff as possible. Seconds later they were roaring down what was left of the highway. For all he knew, they were on a highway to hell. At a hundred and ten miles per hour. It felt strangely right to Gambit. He worried a bit over whether he should have killed Valeria outright. His conscience was on his ass again dammit!

Mostly though he thought about some good Cajun friend chicken and froglegs. Washed down with a pint of good shine. He also thought about poontang. All that thinking only made his mouth water like a hungry coon dog.

The next dawn found Gambit shuffling his deck of cards and doing some hard thinking. They wouldn't starve. He had shot a good sized jack rabbit and Angie cooked it up in an old skillet they had found.  He glanced at her and she smiled. He wondered what she would think if she knew he could kill her with a toss of one of these cards. She served him rabbit and he ate ravenously. If you are truly hungry anything tastes good he had been told. At last he had found one truth in this krazy half baked world. Rogue couldn't cook, at least not good. Gambit wished he could stop thinking about her. He though about Storm too. What a babe she was. He hoped she was alive and well somewhere. He felt that way about both of them. It made him a bit depressed.

That day they came to a small settlement. It didn't look like much, fifteen or twenty houses, a bar, and some kind of beat up trading post. Not much else unless you counted outhouses. The people looked at them with disapproval. Gambit didn't blame them one darn bit. He noticed the men carried guns, a couple even had machine guns. The mutant had no doubt they would use them for event he least provocation. "Any place around here a dude could buy his lady friend a hot meal?" Gambit asked the first person he met that wasn't frowning. The tall farmer looking man nodded and pointed to the bar. "They got rattlesnake and jack rabbit stew in there. Its pretty good if you don't mind simple country eats."

"We don't mind," Gambit replied. A nice plump rattler cooked up good and spicy sounded might fine right at the moment. His gut could make room for some more rabbit too. He took Angie's hand and thanked the man before strolling over to the bar. The sign called it was called DRIFTERS DEN. Gambit was sort of impressed. Then they drifted right on in.  Problem was, Gambit knew cannibals when he saw them.

Gambit's Search for Love After the Apocalypse

[themirrorthief]

Gambit had to leave town in a bit of a rush. He'd gotten into an argument with some big dumb redneck dude. Gambit had thrown a card at the fool and blown his head clean off. Before anyone could recover from the shock the former X Man had taken off like a scalded dog. He had to leave Angie behind but that was probably the best for the girl. She had gotten a job in the bar and Gambit figured she was a lot better off. Women needed stability, and there was precious little of that to be found. The only thing that bothered Gambit was the way some of the people back there looked a little plump. You couldnt get that way eating rattlesnake, jackrabbit, and praire dogs. The place smacked of cannabalism and there was a lot of that going round. Gambit grimaced and shifted his thoughts. He thought about Rogue and sighed. She had been a spirited little thing. Then he thought about Valeria, what a hottie.

Gambit traveled on until he spotted three figures coming his way. As they grew closer he recognized them. Three nazis. He exhaled, they were ok, he knew them and mostly got along with that crowd. He pulled over and waited until they arrived. "Hey Gambit, long time no see, what brings you up this way?"
"Just cruising I guess, looking for a place to stick for a few days maybe." Gambit addressed the big blond dude with the mohawk. He had a swastika carved on the middle of his forehead. He name was Trask. He wasn't such a bad egg. Gambit had pulled a good drunk or two with Trask and he usually had some good weed too.

"What don't you come back to our hangout. We are roasting a fat coyote and we got lots to drink."
"Sounds good, lets ride," Gambit replied with a shrug. He had nothing better to do and he'd partied with worse crowds truth be told.

It wasn't long before they arrived. At one time it had been a nice ranchhouse but last few years had not been kind. There were about ten bikes scattered about and plenty of tough looking nazis roaming around. Gambit followed Trask inside and a pretty girl served him a double. Gambit flushed the boozed down into his gut and it burned real nice. He didn't really have a lot to say to the nazis but things went ok for the most part. They didn't seem to mind having him around, most had heard of him and knew he was no push over. Trask lit a couple of doobies and passed them around. Gambit was feeling pretty good in a few.

"Hey Gambit, want to buy yourself a woman. We got some nice stuff downstairs."

Although he wasn't interested the mutant agreed to go down and look at whatever a nazi considered nice girls. He wasn't totally prepared for what he saw down there. There were three girls chained up. It was the same three barbarian babes he had run into before. Valeria was on the left with a black eye. She glowered at him with a rare kind of hatred. Her ample bosom heaved with passion when she caught sight of him. "I want that one," Gambit said and pointed at Valeria.

"Whoa now, hold on. That one belongs to Big Bob, pick one of the others."

Gambit scratched his chin. "Maybe I can work something out with Big Bob, I really want that blond."

Valeria spat and cursed at Gambit. Trask shrugged. "Its your funeral Gambit, I will see if Big Bob is willing to parlay."

Big Bob came down to the basement and he didn't look to happy about being pulled away from his pet pig. He and that pig were big pals and it was a good thing for the pig because he woulda been roasted a long time ago otherwise. Big Bob frowned at Gambit..."the woman is mine and she ain't for sale."
Gambit pondered his options, there was only one that he was certain would be agreeable to Big Bob. "Ok Bob, you are a reasonable man I'm sure. I will fight you for the girl."

The other bikers gasped, fight Big Bob?? That was suicide.

"Maybe you are a little to drunk right now Gambit, why don't you think on it over a good night's sleep." Trask tried to offer sound advice to his guest.
"I want that blond bad."

"I will fight that little punk, with pleasure." said Big Bob. He actually smiled, displaying both of his rotten teeth. Bob was about six feet five, well over 300 pounds and it was all raw muscle. His arms were as big around as his legs and he had one eye that kind of wandered off on its own most of the time. He was one scary looking dude for real. Gambit wondered if maybe he was crazy. He just couldn't see a smokin' piece of woman flesh like Valeria being mauled by that man beast.
Besides, she really turned him on and that meant a lot to Gambit. It had been awhile.

"Let's take this outside," Gambit said and winked at Valeria. She growled like an animal and swore to gut him in his sleep if he won which she figured was pretty much an impossibility.

Everybody filed out into an open lot and Big Bob did some weird stretches. "By the way Gambit, we fight to the death around here." The big brute grunted.

Gambit smiled, "I wouldn't want it any other way shorty."

Big Bob came at Gambit with a roar. He crashed into the mutant and knocked him for a long roll. Gambit came up quick just in time to see a monstrous fist coming right at his face. He dodged enough to catch only a glancing blow but it almost sent him to nite nite. Gambit used his quickness to stagger away. Big Bob paused his attack long enough to laugh and poke fun at the mutant. "Ive fought girls that had more spunk in them than this wimp."

As Bob came in for the finale the apparently done in mutant lashed out with a lighting fast kick that crashed into Big Bob's knee. He howled like a banshee and hopped around on one leg. Gambit followed up with a spinning kick to Bob's chest that would have made Chuck Norris green with envy. Bob smashed into the dirt and bellowed in rage. Gambit allowed him to get up before hammering three rights to the biker's face. The machine gun-like attack left Bob reeling. Gambit drove a piledriver right into Bob's gut and followed that up with a wicked left right to the big man's jaw. Bob wavered drunkenly and tried to swing a punch. Gambit kicked the bad knee again and Big Bob toppled like the Walls of Jericho. He lay on his back gasping for air. "Kill him Gambit, finish it!" The drunken bikers shouted vigorously.

Gambit bent over close to Bob. "Have you had enough yet?"

Bob nodded weakly. "Bob is a nice guy," Gambit declared. "I'll wait until I come through again to kill him. It will give me something to look forward to."

Trask slapped Gambit on the back. "Go get yer Gal pilgrim, I got a feeling she will be a lot tougher to tame than old Bob there. I gotta give it to you though, you sure are one fist swinging phenom."

When they re entered the basement Valeria looked shocked to see Gambit was still alive. The mutant approached her warily. "Look Valeria, I'm sorry about punching you that one time but I was afraid you might kill me. I would like to take you out of here if you are willing?"

"To be your slave, hell no."

"Its not like that, I dont do slaves, never have. You will be more than welcome to go your own way after we move on. The truth is I am lonely for some female companionship. If you ain't willing I understand but at least let's get the two of us the hell out of here."

Valeria clearly didn't trust him but her options were not exactly numerous. "I agree to go with you. But what about my slave girls here?"

"I only got room for one on my bike. Besides, these nazis ain't such a bad lot. I don't think they will be mistreated all that much, probably anyhow."

"I want my sword." Gambit smiled at the demand. "I'm down with that sweetie. Just don't forget who helped you get it back."

Soon Gambit thundered away on his bike. Valeria sat behind him with her sword at her waist and Bob's Pig on her lap. They were gonna eat like never before. The pig squealed in protest out this outrage. He did kind of enjoy the bike ride though.

The strange couple made camp and Gambit shot the pig. He sliced off some choice bits and tossed them in the skillet. It wasn't long before the two feasted like royalty. The chased the pork down with booze and passed around a couple of joints. Bob had been very generous with Gambit for sparing his life. Bob wasn't such a bad guy really. Gambit had partied with lots worse. Plus not everyone had a fat pig you could eat.

Gambit farted and Valeria burped and they soon settled down for a good night's rest. "Hey Valeria, you aren't gonna try to kill me in my sleep. I got a sixth sense about danger you know. I would hate to have to leave your carcass out here to rot with what's left of the pig."

"Don't worry Gambit, I am beginning to respect you for some reason. For a man, you aren't as bad as most. Tomorrow I may see it far different, as for now you can sleep in peace. Crom knows I could use some rest."
Gambit dosed off but he caught one last admiring peek at the magnificent female form lying just a few feet away. If he had had any privacy at all he would have choked the chicken. Life could be so unfair at times. He took another swig off his jug and passed blissfully into dreamland.

The next morning they had more pig, booze, and dope. It was a great way to start the day. It seemed to Gambit that Valeria was a lot warmer at his back as they followed another lonely road looking for whatever they could find. Things like gas, grass, and ass...the stuff that made life worth living even in these God awful times.

[themirrorthief]

Gambit didnt really trust Valeria. He knew she was tough as nails and might be able to help a little in a fight. Her tale about some bad old wizard zapping her and some of her friends into another, futuristic dimension he figured was just an acid flashback. He had heard larger lies, lots of them. He decided that she could be relied on in a fight. And he made her swear she wouldnt murder him in his sleep. She agreed reluctantly and whined about needing to find her friend Conan if he was still alive. Maybe she was in love with the dude if such a thing was possible. What really impressed Gambit was Valerias totally smoking hot body.

To say the girl was toned to the max would be an understatement. She didnt have the best set of teeth in the world but who did?

One night they got really really drunk. It was a cold night and Valeria didnt object when Gambit offered to let her share his truly comfy sleeping bag. He tried to fondle her and she hit him hard across the nose with her elbow. For the first time in a damned long time Gambit cried, from the blow, not the rejection. He'd had lots of girls clobber him for making a pass. Course, he had gotten laid a lot too. It was a risk vs reward type thing. Anyhow Valeria later apologized, saying she hadn't meant to hit him so hard. She said something about Conan being able to take it better and she was getting used to wimpier men. That made Gambit mad but she was so sexy and warm in his bag with him that he didn't say much.

Sometimes they found water and managed to wash up. Valeria had no problem with getting naked while she did so. This was hard on Gambit. "Sometimes I wish you wouldn't do that," he said. "Why, my body is not so ugly is it?"

Gambit groaned out loud and went to clean his pistol. Valeria finished her bath and got out to work on sharpening and cleaning her sword. She did it so expertly that Gambit felt a bit uncomfortable. "How many men have you killed with that thing," he asked.
"Who counts, a hundred maybe...since I got here I mean...there were a lot more back in the old world."

"I have been a decent friend, dont you agree?" Gambit asked.

Valeria shrugged, "what are we gonna do today"

"We are getting low on booze, we could look for more, go hunting...maybe just shit here in the shade and talk. I enjoy those tales you come up with about your little fantasy world. I bet you were a big Dungeons and Dragons freak at one time."

Valeria shot him a very militant glance. "You should not talk to me like that. Your so called nuclear war is the only fantasy I know about. Why can't you admit that this world has never amounted to offal. They blasted cities of yours may have been there for centuries for all I know."

"What is offal?" Gambit asked.

"You are a fool, I curse the day you bought me."

"My cooking is getting better, you got to give me that," Gambit replied, smirking a bit. Valeria was intensely beautiful when she was angry.

Valeria said nothing, she sheathed her sword and stomped away. Her lean sexy hips mesmerized the ex X man. He suddenly realized he hadn't though of the female memebers of his former team for awhile. He wanted Valeria, but what was the password? He shuffled his cards but they brought forth no answer. The queen of hearts seemed to mock him with her smile. Gambit's mind wondered to drifting off somewhere alone and never coming back. He didnt really want to tho.

Suddenly he saw Valeria rushing back to the camp. Her face was twisted in a way he had never noticed before and she was running as fast as her beautiful legs would carry her. "Arm yourself, we are attacked!" she shouted. He could tell by the sound of her voice she damned sure wouldn't whistling Dixie either.