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Post by BlackHeart on Apr 12, 2018 15:32:32 GMT -5
Some time ago, I mentioned during the debate about pastiches, that I had started (unfortunately, never finished) a novel inspired by KEW's synopsis for "The Day of the Lion". Of course, when I say "inspired", I think that I, lead by desire to read a better version of this story than LCDC & LC "Conan the Liberator", which covers Conan's usurpation of the crown of Aquilonia, created my own vision of the events that preceded the owerthrow of king Numedides. Catching notes after much research of details, geography, characters of we had the opportunity to read in REH's novels, I started several pages, wrote a bunch of dialogues as well as fragments that should later be integrated into the whole thing. In the end, I gave up everything, even though I came back many times to designing characters and synopsis who should follow my story. In the end, some strange muse lures me back to this unfinished work, and I decided to share one of this fragments writen by my hand here with you. Maybe its not best polished translation (in the original language it sounds much more poetic), yet I believe it will serve just fine to those who read it. The fragment is placed somewhere during the beginnings of the revolution under Conan, when one of the counts, once an adventurer who get to the position years ago only trough his ability, a flatterer and cunning schemer, began to see himself as a true power behind the throne and (perhaps) the future king of Aquilonia. Entering in a spacious hall whose walls was decorate with gorgeous tapestries and exposed pieces of weapons, from swords to halberds, the servant Antaro finds his master, Count Kalidios, standing in front of a large mirror of the ornate silver frame and staring at it absently. It seemed as if the Count had seen for the first time that reflection, wich returned the same deep, thoughtful look back to him. "My lord ..." a servant starts, but Kalidios cuts his words with one motion of his hand. The question that followed finds old Antaro a bit caught and confused. "How do you see me, old one?" asked the Count, still not turning his eyes off his reflection. "As a good man, my lord," replied the servant, wondering at those moments whether his master tempting his loyalty, which he otherwise held unreservedly. Kalidios looked him faintly, as if he was surprised by this answer. "Am I?" he asked again. "You saved my life when we first met, my lord." answered the servant, smiling. "Evil man would have left a hungry and dying beggar in the same stump where he found him." "And again, I turned you into a servant ..." Count thought for a moment "I've spared you of certain death, but I made this court your dungeon." "My home" notice the servant bowing. "I live here as a free man, and the least I can do to repay showned mercy is to serve a man without whom I would not walk this earth today." "Maybe so ..." Count replied thoughtfully, and the cold look of a man who, as if he were just realising some final truth that was clear to him only, turned back to his counterpart, who seemed to be provoking him from the mirror. The servant stood calmly, almost stoic, all the time trying to penetrate into the toughts of his master who fixed his own reflection as if he were seeing a stranger in it. After all, the Count snapped from his deep thoughts. "Good man, you say?" Kalidios said more cheerfully. "No ... There is no good people enymore. By the hand of the gods we are all shaped to be evil. Cowards, frightened ... They are "good people" today. They are not led by a noble soul and a valiant heart, but rather by fear. Many are just too scared and weak to be evil." "Maybe you are right, my count," stoicly replied servant. "Maybe ..." noticed Kalidios, and then stood silent for a moment. "The predator often lurks behind the most tamed eyes." "If I'm not too insolent," Antaro cautiously pointed out "do you believe that general Conan is lead by, shall we say, wicked intentions?" "Wicked intentions?" count suddenly restore his proudfull posture. "More like wicked institutions. The nobility, the priesthood ... They are all bunch of hyenas that follow a lion to get some bite left behind. That's how your "good man" was gone into oblivion. Corrupted by wicked institutions and set to the pedestal, he himself became weak. He needs some myth ... To make himself cheated, just so he can think he's a good man. At least, in this respect, Conan has no reserves. He is a rough savage, a barbarian and a killer and he is proud of it. I admire him, as much as I despise him at the same time. " "Why, my lord?" Kalidios cast one long, examining glance at his servant. His cunning smile slightly sneaked on his face. "Old friend, I'll think you dream of imperial dreams, and not me. But, let it be. Why? 'Cause such a man, fearless and cunning like a mountain lion, above everything is dangerous, mostly for being a wild beast in his own soul." "That's why you're trying to put a leash on his head, Master?" "No," said the Count "It's because the natural state of a mankind is terrible. Because man is still a wild beast and our new friend is the best proof of that. And I ... I'm a civilized man. And our civilization is an unseen triumph over that nature of wild beast. We have won the natural state, therefore there's more that is expected from us. Conan is a fighter, he'll win or die in this fatuous but useful revolution. And I will be the one who will keep the lion on the chain, as well as that mindless fool who's sweaty forehead wears the crown. If Conan loses, one rebellion is crushed, and the king will reward me with gold and possessions on which he will plant the seeds of his own destruction. And if he wins, well ... Lion belongs in the circus, even in this court's one that Numedides created. And from there a path can only lead him to his death. Either way, neither of them will sit long on the throne." "Many heads wil role before you sacrifice its own children to this war" said the old man quietly. "Truth..." Count agreed, "Many ... Alas, I'm afraid it's the fate of all pions. And figures have already been launched. Whoever wants to win, must also wants the means."
From unfinished Conan novel,
writen by Mladen Markovic (a.k.a. BlackHeart) As always, any criticism, positive or negative, is welcome. If interest is shown, I may finally get the necessary motivation to complete this writing. Or forget it totaly, if it turns out to be bad. No offense on my part Best of luck!
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Post by Char-Vell on Apr 12, 2018 15:48:46 GMT -5
That's some meaty dialog!
If you have the stamina to pound out a novel, and translate it as well, I say go for it!
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Post by BlackHeart on Apr 12, 2018 16:14:40 GMT -5
That's some meaty dialog! If you have the stamina to pound out a novel, and translate it as well, I say go for it! I always was in love with philosophy, and some form of it is always present in my writing. It can be anoying sometimes 😉 Thank you for your kind words, my friend. It means a lot.
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Post by ChrisLAdams on Apr 12, 2018 20:25:03 GMT -5
I agree with Char-Vell, that dialogue is straight up Howard. Persevere, Blackheart. You may end up with a complete story, something you can be proud of, something that will outlive us all.
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Post by buxom9sorceress on Apr 12, 2018 21:33:56 GMT -5
Hey Blackheart thanks for sharing your hard work [ fragment translation ]. Good stuff. And keep your shirt off, please?
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Post by themirrorthief on Apr 12, 2018 23:09:53 GMT -5
good stuff blackheart...hey buxie, I have my pants off right now
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Post by BlackHeart on Apr 13, 2018 0:43:22 GMT -5
Well, Chris, im glad you like it. Its been a long run to left it behind, I agree with that. And, from the heart, thank you on your words of praise. Its not an easy job to follow REHs creation and to deliver something good. You know that yourself - you've done it yourself and it was great. Will try not to desapoint with mine take.
And thank you, my dearest sorceres. Shirt will stay of, dont worry about that 😉
And, thank you thief. I hope there's some loinclotch within your grasp 😁
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Post by themirrorthief on Apr 13, 2018 0:58:12 GMT -5
I buy loincloths by bulk as well as blond wigs and even the occasional push up bra...I love to mow the lawn like that...its just a me thing
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Post by buxom9sorceress on Apr 13, 2018 7:34:48 GMT -5
Dear Blackheart, it obviously takes a lot more time and effort to write, and then translate well. Try doing a short tale version [ about 20 to 40 pages?] which captures the essence and most exciting bits of your conan tale? Then see how you feel after posting it here? That short fan version might satisfy you? [ because a full novel version would be a colossal drain of time, and you would need permission from the conan owners to publish it for profit? [ maybe there will be more official support for new conan novels after the amazon tv series has been successful? ] [ you could write and translate 50 big new poems in the time it would take to do a novel? I vote for all the poetry. You are a master bard. ] I keep the small pic of the 'topless Bard' next to my bed. Sweet dreams. [[ when i dream about Mirror-thief he is usually covered all over in overlapping coolie-hats...]] ---
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Post by BlackHeart on Apr 13, 2018 9:35:59 GMT -5
Im sure he looks inspiring 😉 Hey, Bux! How's it going? Thanks a lot for taking some time to read my writing. Your opinion and comments are always welcome and good thing to see. And, you're right. It is hard to bring Howards child into solid yarn, much more into novel that is worth reading. I gues I love chalenge, what can I say... As for your advice about shorter story that could be expanded later, U have given me some ideas. Btw, I never consider doing it for profit; personly, Im published, few times awarded, poet and writer, but not a great name or world known author. I doubt that someone would even consider publishing a fan fic into form of book (wow... I talk as if such novel exists), I was just started driven by love for the character. Surprises are posible, but Im doubtfull. As for my poems... Well, my sword writes with blood trough manny feuds and dangers, whenever some memory of one buxom goddes, standing on the balcony of her tower in all her divine beauty, comes to mind. Maybe I'll soon dedicate few rhymes to her 😉 Sweet dreams, my lady
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Post by themirrorthief on Apr 13, 2018 10:23:29 GMT -5
my loincloths have to be extra large...I dont want to get arrested
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Post by Deleted on Apr 13, 2018 12:36:55 GMT -5
Excellent stuff, Blackheart.
The scene/fragment above is very well executed and the dialogue, I have to agree is very Howardian. There's a primal element in the fragment that gets my blood racing, kinda like reading REH - that's a rare gift. From what I can ascertain you seem to really get it. I'd definitely like to see more fragments of your novel and look forward to reading them soon.
Thanks Hun.
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Post by BlackHeart on Apr 13, 2018 15:25:03 GMT -5
Excellent stuff, Blackheart. ... Thanks Hun. Thank you, Hun. Your praise makes my blood racing. Yes, theres a few fragments left to colect the dust. Ill try to translate them when obligation gives me a moment, so I could share them with you guys here. And this... To be compared with REH (even slightly), its a large thing. U made one hard day shine on the end. Best of wishes
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Post by BlackHeart on Apr 28, 2018 17:17:55 GMT -5
And so, here is another fragment that describes the dialogue (at least, solid part of it) conducted during the evening of first meeting of the Conan's rebels and Count Kalidos. Of course (once again I emphasize) all this is the initial work of the first (unfinished) draft. There is a lot of processing space, so if I missed something about the characters, do not mind. "Me" surprised was Kalidios "No, my friend. Comoners will not follow me. But, they will follow you. Once when, with Mitra's help, Numedides get overthrown, the nobles will slaughter among themselves, proving their noble rights with a tightly clenched fist around the sword." "Is there none in Aquilonia who could succeed that fool?" asked Conan. "No," the Count responds briefly and severely. "None of them will want to see the other on the throne. There will be a bloody battle between the nobility that our surrounding enemies could use to collapse on this nation. What do you think, what would happen when the throne cought the eye's of man that are launching their armies in the spring just to scramble with their neighbor over half a league of the forest and the nearby creek?" "That's not surprising to me ... friend." Conan replied frowning, not turning his eyes from Kalidios's face, reading an undiscovered liking of his own assessment. "Countless times I saw rulers and nobles who would drown the world in blood, just so they could create kingdom of one hamlet with its environment. In the old days, I my self thought that with such should be speaked with the sword, but I've learned that people usually deserve the government they have." "People are silent, yes. " added Trocero, bitterly wistful "When you let the wolf kill a sheep every day, it means you are a bad shepherd and you deserve to starve tomorrow, but ... Conan... When Numedides came to power, he showed himself as a generous and good man, and the people greeted him as their next great ruler. Nobody knew how quickly a hot and sunny day can change in a storm that swept all before it." "And when it finally swept away their weathered pockets" Kalidios continued "and from their table blew even crumbs, should one be surprised that they finally rose up against such despotic government?" Conan watched them both faintly, but in the end his eyes stopped at count Kalidos. Something in his blissful tone did not give him confidence. These caring, friendly words praised him, foreigner and a barbarian, but, his green eyes, though seemingly gentle, were more threatening than they were approving of what he said. Perhaps, in this nest of intrigue and betrayal, spawned in every revolution, where those evil and good stood with one side, and with the other those good and evil, the very circumstances brought his suspicion to the point of boiling? Perhaps t'was a life of unrelenting battle in this world, where a son raised his hand on a father, a brother lifted sword against brother, anchored distrust in his naturaly suspicious mind? Perhaps ... But his sharpened barbaric senses, which were not at the service of those born out of the decadent civilization, have not failed him so far. Therefore, although he gave no sign, he brought the motives of his new aly into question. "Despotic government..." thoughtfully said Conan "I'd like to see one of them try to sat in the middle of Cimmeria. He would swallow his own sword along with his teeth, before he had a chance to squeal!" "Such maybe the opportunities in your northern regions, my general" said Kalidios, smoothing out his neatly chopped beard "whose people are wild and unwieldy, but not here. Within the boundaries printed by the hands of the civilized, there are different principles. Here the farmer, peasant, knows that he depends largely on the good will of his master." "You mean, anemic aristocrats who are in love with their own mirror reflection?" Conan laughted "By Crom, I'll never understand those who dont have a sense of themselves, even more so because of them depends whose prat heats the throne." "As far as you're right, General," Kalidios continued "people are limited by what they can lose. That bit of a land, their family ... Life itself. No matter how big, worthless is the power of the crowd when they know they'll risks everything they have." "Did the soldiers who left the bones in the pictish wilderness risk less when they were defending with me that same crowd whose precious life was endangered by the negligence of those whose duty was to take care of them?" "No," sighed the count, whose glance then flashed somewhere in the distance. "But now they stood up, and they look at you to lead them, to death or liberation." ""I am afraid that Count Kalidios is telling the truth, Conan," Trocero added, looking at his old acquaintance from the side. "We can discuss the motives of the people to the end of the world, but, as has been said here tonight, I can not be the king of this country. Although the people of Poitan support me, the others will never forget that I am the one who had stormed Tamar back in old days. For them, I'll always be a stranger who passed through their country with fire and sword." "And I surely not intend to," Kalidios said, then continued with some more joyful tone, "nor would I've get the approve of the masses. They will not see any of us wearing a crown. But, their liberator, on the other hand..."
By BlackHeart How I take good with bad, criticism (whatever it is) are welcome. I hope you'll like it. Best of luck...
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Post by Char-Vell on Apr 28, 2018 23:25:09 GMT -5
That's really good material there. I hope one day you put it all together in a novel. It will be epic.
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