Could anyone deign to elaborate upon this Conan zombie sex scene? Like why exactly did he bang a member of the living dead?
It was in
Conan the Defiant. Here's the review of the book I posted on Amazon:
Defiant happens right on the heels of Sprague de Camp & Carter’s The Thing in the Crypt when Conan is roughly 16 years old and he is still toting the ancient sword he retrieved from that self-same crypt.
The Weak:
*Even though this is a very young Conan, Perry writes him as if he has no inexperience, no naivety, and no wonder at the new world he is seeing for the first time. I would have liked to have seen Conan written as a more impetuous and reckless youth.
*The story takes place in Brythunia, but it is a name only, there is no sense of the people, architecture, customs, or culture of Brythunia. In short there is no sense of its place within the Hyborian world.
*Conan allies with an undead woman. Admittedly their interests run in parallel but Conan as established has a revulsion of black magic, and Perry writes Conan as very comfortable being around the non-gruesome zombie. An easy fix would have been to have Conan say something along the lines of “Ok we’ll travel together for our mutual purpose, but you build your own campsite at night, as I’ll not close my eyes with a ghoul about.”
*The villain of the piece is a two dimensional necromancer who is out to conquer the world. Perry even has the necromancer literally twirl his mustache! Although this might be because….
The Strong:
*…Perry writes with a wonderful sense of whimsy, you can almost see him winking at you while he types that the Neg the Malefic twirled his mustache.
*This is a typical McGuffin Plot but Perry triumphantly takes what could have been a hackneyed plot and cranks it up to 11. Pursuing the Source of Light talisman is the Necromancer, a thief, an undead woman, the Suddah Oblates (monks), and a nomadic woman of Khauran – each for their own reasons. However there are pursuits of the people as well: Conan pursues the thief (for revenge); the Monks pursue Conan (out of mistaken identity); the adherents of the necromancer pursue the undead woman (to gather back their own), a town spy & his thugs pursue Conan (to avenge a humiliation), and it even has a horde of tarantulas pursuing the thief (just for bearing a magical item). All these pursuers collide and clash at various times throughout the novel giving the whole thing a frenetic appeal that is worthy of a tale of the big Cimmerian.
*Perry acknowledges there are other gods in the Hyborian Age besides Set, Mitra, and Crom. In a nice nod to L. Sprague de Camp, one of the towns in this story adheres to the worship of his nameless spider god of his Conan and the Spider God novel.
*In a deft manner Perry addresses how Conan makes ends meet when he comes into a town without two coppers to rub together. It is a well done diversion that has a ring of truth to it.
*Perry does not skimp on the action. There are no prolonged breaks in the plot at which point the reader thinks, “Come on, get it in gear”.
*Perry manages to pull an impossible task, the reader will actually be rooting for a swarm of tarantulas who will not stop their assigned pursuit no matter how many thousands die along the way. As their numbers dwindle you will actually feel sorry for the abused creatures.
*Perry’s absurdity will bring a smile to your face. He will occasionally deliver the thoughts of the undead as they are used as pawns in Neg’s plans. The pettiness, humor, pathos, and just general “humanity” of the undead is superbly written.
All in all it is a very strong outing, and then Perry throws it all away with…
…The Horrendous:
With all the strong points above you must surely be wondering why this isn’t at least a 4 star review? Well, there’s no way to get to it without a spoiling a plot beat, so read no further if you don’t want to know that….
…Conan has sex with the undead woman. Yes REH’s Conan who feels revulsion, fear, and horror when confronted by black magic, has sex with the hot zombie!
I don’t believe I’ve ever actually been angry with an author before, but I was angry with Perry for this horrendous misstep. How could he think that was a good idea? How could he believe he was writing Conan in character? How could the editor (I believe Robert Jordan) not nix it? How could Conan Properties ok it? I was angry at them all. But mostly I’m angry at Perry for wasting what was simply an outstanding story.
And for that reason I give what would have otherwise been a 4 star book only 2 stars, and I will never read another of Steve Perry’s Conan pastiches.
