Reality Reviled...same story, new title!! Dec 27, 2018 12:29:59 GMT -5
Post by themirrorthief on Dec 27, 2018 12:29:59 GMT -5
It was raining outside and significantly cold. I played with my kitten and did some thinking. I think a lot by the way. Everyone should, I think? I listened to a bit of the news on the radio. It was mostly bad, lots of terrible things happening all over the world. Most of them were Trump's fault. Somebody called him Captain Cheeto and someone else called him Fuckface Von Clownstick. Personally I like the guy. He helped MSNBC and CNN get better ratings and kept them from going under cause nobody watched.
Of course FOX rules over them all, duh.
I was feeling a littler paranoid. Who isn't these days with all the terrorism, bad dope, sexual perversion, phony religions, high rent, and expensive liquor out there.
I own a gun, its a small one I can carry around and it makes me feel a lot better. Just knowing it is there is a very soothing thing. I would like a bigger gun but I can't afford one yet. My job isnt that great although it pays the bills usually. I would like a bigger penis too. I don't know why, its just something everyone says a man should have.\
I wanted to smoke some weed pretty bad but being broke was blocking the way. I wound up swapping my gun for some good stuff. I was torn between two lovers you could say. It was a tough situation buy I soldiered through it and felt a lot better when I got totally shitfaced. Besides, drinking all the time isn't good for you. And it can give you the upset tummy if its the cheap stuff like I drink most of the time.
I have a lot of female trouble. My ex wife says bad shit about me all the time. My current wife has moved back in with her mom. Plus my girlfriend only likes me when shes broke. I do have three other ladies in my life. One is hot but married. One is smart but really fat. Fat women arent that sexy but they feel pretty good in bed with the lights off I have found. The last girl is really hot and kinda freaky cool but shes married and just had a baby. Dammit. I am not a super nice guy but I dont want to break up her happy home.
If she wants to break up her happy home I am willing to talk about it.
All the women in my life have nice bodies, except for my ex wife and the fat lady I already talked about.
I am paranoid but I went out anyhow. I felt naked without my gun but the switchblade in my pocket helps and the tire iron in my car is comforting as well. Sometimes I think I am to old school for my own good?
After getting super high I did some drinking in a bar. I got pretty tight and decided to take a drive...I drive better when tight...who doesn't?
I never pick up hitchhikers but for some reason I did stop for this older dude. He looked pretty shabby with some kind of old army coat and a krappy beard. We talked and smoked some more weed. For an old guy he was pretty interesting. he invited me to hang out with him while he was at his daughter's place. For some reason I agreed. That is something I don't like about my self and my life. It can be pretty random.
I spend to much of my time looking for something...? I have no idea what. Pussy is not it, its pretty easy to get if you don't mind an occasional std and laying out some cash. Women like money, and walmart, and pills. Its the little things like that make men love them. And their boobs are a ton of fun to play with. Don't laugh, you know I'm right...mebbe.
Hank's daughter lived in a trailor in a pretty run down area. She was living with the mexican guy name Jose. He was a little fat from all the beer he drank but all he listened to on his beat up stereo was John Tesh and Freddy Fender. This kinda made sense cause those were the only two cds her had. So it was ok. He had some good weed and Hank prowled around until he found some pills in another of his ragged coats. "Damn I was pretty sure I left those things in this jacket." I dont have as much dementia as people thing...he should have added. We all took a few pills and honestly I was feeling pretty good.
Jose had a younger sister there. She kept looking at me. I think she liked me and I liked her back. She had long hair and nice teeth and big eyes and a sexy round butt. I think I was attracted to her. Hank's daughter asked if I would drive Tonia to the dollar store to get some tampons and vienna sausages for her dad's lunch.
The tampons were for Tonia which was kinda a buzz kill since she was on her cycle and I was not a weirdo that liked that sort of thing.
I drove Tonia to the store and sat in the car listening to my radio. She came out after a few minutes and was about to get in the car when this other mexican dude came up and started shouting at her. He was real mad and cursing like a mother. When he put his hands on her I got out and told him to chill or there might be a real ugly scene. He called me some bad names in spanish and I acted kinda intimidated.
I slipped back in the car and got the tire iron while he and Tonia were wrestling right there in the parking lot. He was so busy that he totally forgot about me I guess. I hit him hard over the heard and he went to his knees. I kicked him and he fell over groaning. For good measure I pulled the switchblade and poked him a few times. Then we drove away quick. I had no intention of going to jail over some really minor bullshit like that. Besides he would probably live if someone got him to the ER pretty quick. Like I think I said before, I am not a really bad dude at all. I would have more friends and classier ones too if I could get a better job and made a little more cheese.
Life is like that, the more you make the more you spend.
Tonia put her head on my shoulder and started sobbing. She explained the dude was her baby daddy. But he was a bum. She had put the baby up for adoption and it had all been his fault. She thought he had gotten her knocked up on purpose for some reason, like maybe to cement his claim on her or whatever.
I stopped at the liquor store and bought booze, I was surprised when she liked whiskey and asked for it. That was cool with me. I was already pretty high from the pills but what the fuck. A man has to find his pleasure where he can. I took Tonia took this run down looking hotel and we stayed there for a couple of days. She was good in bed and she said I was too. It was perfect match until I had to go back to work so I took her home.
It was then I found out Hank had had some kind of bad spell and was in the hospital. I didn't stick around to long cause I hate depressing news. I have a hard time hearing about friends who are hurting. Hank was a cool guy and I wished he was still around cause I really liked those pills of his.
After work I thought about looking Tonia up again but I went to a bar instead. I drank a bunch of beer and shot some pool with these biker guys. Things were going pretty good until one of them asked me if I was gay. "What the fuck," I replied more than a little irate. Then to make matters worse the guy told me to chill before I got my ass kicked. That was the breaking point for me. I get bossed around at work and I have to take it or starve. Here it was different. I broke the pool stick over his head and pulled by blade.
Another biker cursed me and went for a gun. I kicked him right in the balls and crashed a pool ball over his thick cranium. He groaned and clutched the pool table to keep from sagging. I left quickly before the cops were called. No sense in looking for trouble. That is one of the truisms I live by. Those things work cause I am still alive.
When I got home I discovered that my mom had sent me fifty bucks for my birthday. I had forgotten about the big event but the cash made me happy as all get out. I decided to lay out of work the next day and go chill on the beach. I hadnt called in sick for a couple of weeks so I was pretty sure it was cool. I hit the beach early next morning a smoked a fatty and drowned some beers that I had in the ice chest. Man, it was great. There were lots of hotties walking about in their barely there bikinis.
I felt myself getting a boner. I put on my headphones and turned up my little portable cd player which is old tech but I like it. New tech gives me a headache and hemorhoids. I am old school and an old fool but I like what I like. And what I like most of all is loud rock and roll and pussy. I guess I am pretty typical.
After a few hours I was pretty wasted. Then damned if this freaking vagrant came up and ask if he could have five bucks to buy something to eat. I gave him a beer, I guess he was hoping for another so he invited himself to sit down. He didn't smell to bad and he reminded a little of my cousin.
It turned out he was my cousin.
Well we partied until the sun went down and I told him I was going behind a dune somewhere and shit. Then I got hell out of there. I went straight to a strip joint to watch some hotties show there wares. I saw my wife there, she always was a really good dancer. We exchanged pleasantries and I stuck a dollar in her thingy or whatever it was she wasn't wearing. She said she wanted a divorce so she could marry this guy who was always coming in. He had money, I was pretty sure.
About then this really big guy came in and gave me a dirty look. "Who gave you permission to talk to my lady you hippie freak," he grunted and made two fists. "I was just asking where the bathroom was man," I replied, trying to sound a bit scared.
He pushed me real hard and snarled, "Shit in your hand puke and then eat it before I shove my boot up your ass."
Well, one of my shortcomings is a pretty short temper. I shot out a right and tagged him right on the nose. I felt it crunch and pop loud like rice krispies. He tried to punch back but only got his fist stuck on my switchblade. Then I stomped his toes hard and violently kicked his knee backwards until he screamed and went down. Then I kicked him in the head. I kissed my wife good night and went out to look for my car. Dammit, somebody had swiped all four tires. It took a while to get the bicycle out of the back seat where I had wedged it pretty good that day at goodwill.
I took the tags off the car and threw them away. An old junker when no tires was not a car anymore IMO.
I am not sentimental and besides I have a motorcycle. I will miss that car though, smoked a ton of weed in it and got lots of nookie. I even nailed a cheerleader in it one night. Sweet memories but one had to be practical too. Thats life, and life has consequences...I think thats the way that my dad used to put it. When he wasnt beating my ass. He wanted me to grow up to be an auto mechanic...so he could get stuff done for free. I was the artistic kind though, always drawing comic book characters and skull heads...and naked chicks...typical stuff you know.
I didn't miss anymore work that week cause I have to eat. But things at the old factory sorta unexpectently took a turn for the better. My new boss turned out to be this real hot looking babe about forty. She had blond hair and really big boobs...just my type. Problem was she played hard to get. But finally one day while she and I were the only two people in the smoking area she asked out of the blue if I had any tattoos. I replied that I had several and offered to show her but it would have to be somewhere private cause some where in my personal area.
That night at her place I was having a blast. She was one hot number let me tell you she kept a lot of good booze around. She said she didnt smoke weed but wouldnt mind a little coke. Lucky for me I have a lucky locket with a little special powder I had saved for just such an occasion.
Just as we snorted it down her husband came home. He didn't look to happy about things. We got into a big row and he was one tough dude. I think he had been a boxer or something once because he tagged me three or four times really good. My mouth was bleeding pretty bad and I staggered out and got on my bike. On the way home all I could think about was changing my ways. Turns out that is just what I did too.
I became a preacher and a good one too. I am in the process of setting my own tv network and an overseas ministry. And I get more nookie than ever before. It is so strange out life changes like that. Sometimes though I miss the old life. But the old life gets old so pardon me while live in the moment and enjoy the lords grace for a change.
Thank you for your patience and if I can change, you might be able too as well. Best wishes