vampires suck!!!!

[themirrorthief]

Gatesville Bob hated vampires. He hated the way they looked, he hated their hollow

stares, he especially hated their breath. It stank, like rotten offal, and that's truly

horrible. They smelled like bloated corpses. Like the fiends they were however, they

knew how to cloak the odors. It was one of their powers. Luckily for Bob they could not

maintain this cloak when angry and Gatesville Bob made them plenty angry. As Bob searched

the old ruined castle he smelled them...and they were close.

"You damned fool mortal!" A deep yet hollow voice rang out. A monstrous vision appeared

seemingly from nowhere. Another man would have been frozen by the chill chasing down his

spine but another man would not have once been an understudy to Solomon Kane!

"At last you show yourself foul creature of despair and darkness. Your time has come,

best hold still and I'll make it quick and at last you shall be at peace."

The thing snarled like a wild animal and then it charged the gaunt avenger. Moving much

faster than a mortal the thing was upon him in less than a second. Its foul breath

scorched the Avenger's dark features and its horrible fangs sought soft flesh. Then

an expression of shock swept over the loathsome monster's features and it seemed

momentarily frozen. It backed away and glanced down at its chest where the wooden stake

was planted a good foot inside. "Satan curse you..." it growled before screaming with

a shriek that would do any banshee proud. Then it crumbled in a haze of smoke an steam

until nothing was left save crumbling bones and rags. Gatesville Bob nodded in

satisfaction and his hand went to his belt to draw forth another stake. He knew

instinctively that his night was likely far from done. He paused momentarily to urinate

on the scant remains of the vampire. He had drank heavily that night. He needed the

liquor to keep his mind clear and his limbs supple and warm. He withdrew a bottle of

good brandy and half emptied the container. Then the Avenger grunted and put the bottle

away. After a few moments pause to enjoy the effects of the potion he drained the rest

of the burning fluid and tossed the bottle away. The sound of breaking glass rang hollow

and angrily amindst the somber cold stones of the decayed castle.

Bob took another bottle and uncorked it with his teeth. He stared at it for a long

moment as if contemplating the wisdom of another drink. "What is wrong you foolish

man, is your courage flagging. That will not aid you now, only make you sluggish and

easy prey for the evil ones that lurk in the night." Bob thought he saw the vaugue

outline of a female form half hidden just beyond the tangled undergrowth.

Then she giggled in a very girlish

way, as though playing a little joke on Bob. The voice was enchanting as she continued.

"I used to be afraid of the dark too...but that passed. Now it is a comfort to me...like

a strange friend that visits every day...or night I should say."

Gatesville Bob's frozen blue eyes narrowed to fine slits and then widened as a new

emotion seized his fevered brain. There, illuminated by the pale light of a full moon,

stood the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. She was tall and dressed in a lovely

white gown. Her hair was long, dark and wavy. Her lips were full and red like the color

of a rose in full bloom. Her figure was slender but abundant in the most pleasing

areas. Her bosom rose high and heaved as fiercely excited by some passion that lay

just below the surface of this spectacular vision. "In God's name and by all that is

holy...what bring you to this forsaken place at such a late hour?" Gatesville Bob

spoke in a voice that was tinged with astonishment and inquiry.

"I wandered away from my home which is nearby. I often walk at night due to my many

worries. It sooths me, the stillness and quiet. I was curious about these old ruins and

wanted to view them in moonlight. I heard a disturbance and drew near. What was the

meaning of the strange commotion I overheard at a distance?" Her voice was like a soft

melody, innocent and a little shy...yet deep and wholly female. Bob marveled at her and

her courage to stroll about in these desolate parts...alone.

She moved gracefully and her beautiful dark eyes flittered about. Her fingers worried

at her long hair and her full breasts lay partially exposed due to a plunging neckline.

Bob's eyes were drawn there like a magnet. "I did not expect to find a man, and a very

handsome one, during my little nocturnal sojourn. I so long for company out here in the

country. Its very lonely and my husband is often away, as he is tonight."

Her word seemed almost like an invitation. Bob felt an odd sensation run through his

limbs and he suddenly seemed incredibly relaxed...or was it fatigued? His mind seemed

foggy and he struggled to concentrate on her words. The rang hypnotic and oddly distant

and he wondered if the brandy might have been drugged. Gatesville Bob had many

enemies. He glanced at the second bottle open in his hand. It seemed a curious thing

as the moonlight shot odd rays through the glass and the fluid within. His attention

had focused on the object for only a moment but when he turned back to view the woman

she was closer, much closer. In truth, she was standing directly in front of him and

his usually very excellent hearing had hear not one footfall. "You are very strong and

a handsome man indeed..." her voice was husky now she seemed to have trouble composing

the words correctly. Her long, beautiful arms reached out for him. "I am so lonely

here, so sad and lonely and my husband has been away for so long. I...I think I need

someone to hold me...to love me!"

Suddenly her face was very close but her breath was not sweet like that of a beautiful

young woman's. There was the smallest, a very faint you understand...Stench! The

stench of the vampire!

Gatesville Bob raised the bottle high overhead even as the girl took him in her

warm embrace. For a second it appeared he might bring it down upon her head but instead

it was upturned and the liquid splattered the woman's dark hair and ran down over her

turbulent bosom and the beautiful gown. Instantly she released him and screamed in

horror and rage. "What did you do to me!" She shouted at Bob.

"Only a bit of holy water my dear...nothing to worry oneself about, Unless you are one

of the foul undead." The woman screamed and screamed and screamed as smoke rose from her

hair and bits of flesh began to peel from her face and arms. She stared at him

with an expression of hate and incredulous amazement. Then the pain took her wholly and

the shrieked and writhed and the smoke about her increased and the agony set upon her

unmercifully. Bob grasped a handful of the thick dark hair and yanked her near. Then

the stake plunged deeply between those proud breasts and the woman sank to the ground,

her eyes glazed and peaceful of a sudden. She did not crumble away like the previous

fiend but soon took the aspect of a beautiful woman, deep in sleep. Bob could not stop

himself from staring. "What a shame," he half whispered. "Yet she was one of the great

and powerful ones...her appearance now proves it to be so."

He knelt near the body and raised the head. To his utter horror the dark eyes flashed

open and a expression of pure hate spread instantly across the beautiful features until

he looked into the face of a rage filled witch, a hag demon spawned straight from hell

itself!

Gatesville Bob was a quick man, both of wit and body. His sword flashed down and

severed the head with one fell stroke. He hurled the loathsome head as far as he could

and stood up, much aroused. He thought he heard a scream but it was very faint. He looked

down at the body and now it was nothing but bones and ash. Bob shivered in disgust and

with a sliver of fear. His work was not easy. The night had grown very cold. He pulled his

dark cloak about himself and glanced up at the moon. "A curse on all dark things that

thrive under such a light as you provide." He mumbled. He was half sickened and did not

tarry longer in that sad dreadful place, beneath that malevolent moon and its mocking

face. He sheathed his sword, no need to wipe away blood for he knew there was none.

Then he stalked away, his mind swiftly shifting to desire for warm light, strong drink,

and a week long drunk.